Surrender
by Dr. Sexy M.D
Summary: The brothers cannot deny their burning passion for each other, but what is causing it and what will they do about it? Gets inside the characters and their relationship to each other. How will things change for them? WINCEST ALERT!
1. Chapter 1

**Surrender: A Supernatural Wincest Story**

Chapter 1 – Sam's Problem

Sam tossed and turned. He couldn't get the thoughts of the demon blood out of his mind. He didn't really understand it but there was just something about it that called to him. His body lusted after it; his mind focused on nothing else. He hated this about himself and desperately wanted to be normal.

He sighed; why was it so easy for Dean to sleep anywhere at any time? Dean looked so peaceful as he slept; even though Sam knew better than to think that his brother was anything even close to carefree.

It was so frustrating that he couldn't focus on anything but this bloodlust. It consumed him and controlled every part of him. His hands slid down his body and his eyebrow rose when he discovered the rock hard boner in his pants. Usually he was aware when he was horny but this time everything was just so overpowered by the need for the blood.

He found himself rubbing at his rock hard package through his pants, a soft moan escaping his lips. For those few seconds he was able to keep the thoughts of the blood at bay. It didn't seem so bad as he was touching himself. He didn't really understand why, but he didn't care much either. If he had to excuse himself to jack off every time he got overwhelmingly obsessed with the blood then that's just what he would have to do.

He slid his pants down, over his long, thick dick, freeing it for his enjoyment. His hand wrapped around the base, sliding up and down the shaft, creating intense feelings of pleasure. He longed to cry out but he didn't want Dean to have any idea what he was doing. Dean would just make fun of him. That was not exactly something that he wanted to endure.

So he kept the noise down; only screaming on the inside. Sam was a screamer; it was one of the things he didn't like about himself. For some reason he had a hard time being stimulated and being quiet at the same time.

Masturbation wasn't something that Sam did that often. He usually found it trivial and a rather crappy substitution, but today it was the best thing in the world. His cock was oozing precum. This moisture made his stroking even easier. He was able to slide up and down effortlessly; as though he was being ridden by a very wet, very tight pussy. Or better yet….an asshole. He loved assholes; he had no idea what it was about them that he found so enticing but there was definitely something.

He was really getting into it; his cock head was bright red, his breathing was labored and he was forced to bite on his shirt to keep from shouting out various obscenities.

"Sammy?"

Sam groaned and immediately stopped touching himself. "Just go back to sleep."

Dean groggily looked over in his brother's direction, "Is everything alright? I thought I heard you groaning or something."

"I'm fine, just go back to sleep."

Even in Dean's sleepy state he understood what that meant. He laughed, "Its okay Sammy, it's completely normal. I do it all the time."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Just shut up, okay?"

"Okay." Dean said smiling to himself. He rolled over; his back facing Sam, and pretended to sleep, too busy giggling to himself to actually get there.

Sam sighed; Dean had totally ruined the moment for him, and slid his pants back up. His dick was still rock hard; it seemed to be that way all the time lately, especially when he was craving the blood, and he hated having to leave himself that horny and not finish the job, but he didn't want to run the risk of Dean waking up again and catching him. He wasn't really sure what the big deal was, after all it wasn't like Dean wasn't always wacking one off himself.

Sam rolled onto his side and closed his eyes; desperate to get to sleep before anything else embarrassing could happen to him. His hard cock still stood at attention, aching in his pants, rubbing against his shorts and making him crazy. 'I will not touch myself, I will not touch myself.' He willed himself to just go to sleep and surprisingly, eventually, it happened.

Things pretty much went in a similar fashion for the next few days. Sam spent his days obsessively thinking about the demon blood that he so desperately wanted to forget even existed and his nights filled with thoughts of hot chicks and assholes while he relieved himself of the day's tension.

A couple of days later he got the urge while he was in the shower. They were in a rundown place in Minnesota and it had been a really rough few days for the brothers. More demons…..why did it always have to be fucking demons? It just didn't seem fair that he should have to be around them, with their enticing, boner inducing blood and he couldn't drink from them. What the fuck?

He had survived the exorcism, focusing dually on the helpless victim being strung along for a ride and their mission to kill every evil thing that they come across. He had even managed to fall into a deep sleep without too much trouble and without any stimulation at all. It had been a miracle; thank God he had been so physically exhausted.

But that next morning, while he was taking his shower, all the thoughts of the event came back to him. That blood had smelled so enticing and the human girl had been so delicious looking, it had been so hard for him to resist. It had also been hard to concentrate on the crazy Latin that he had to recite while his cock was pre-cumming in his jeans.

Dean just didn't understand and that pissed him off all the more. Dean was horny a lot, he imagined, but he seemed to be able to control himself until he could find the first slut in town or until he was alone. But, unfortunately, Sam just couldn't make that work for him. When he got like this it had to be taken care of, there just was no ignoring it…..especially when he was standing naked in the shower with hot water stroking down his body.

Trying to ignore it was futile. He ached with desire and a growl was rising in his throat. He needed to cum and he needed to cum now! He reached his soapy hand down and started massaging all ten inches, fervently; urgently. Moans escaped his lips and his legs started to shake; he knew it wouldn't take very long.

For some reason Dean chose that moment to wake up and want to use the shower. Instead of knocking like he should have, he opened the door a crack and poked his head in. "Sammy, I-"

Dean was cut off by something he hadn't been expecting. The shower curtain was pulled about three quarters of the way across the tub, but Sam happened to be standing at the uncovered end, cock in hand, spurting white hot cum all over the wall of the shower.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – The Confession

Dean felt dirty.

How could he have been so stupid? Why couldn't he have just knocked? It wasn't as if he hadn't ever seen his brother naked before, but he hadn't ever seen THAT before. He knew that Sam did that, hell didn't everyone, but come on?

The worst part of all was the look on Sam's face; the shame, the embarrassment. Dean had been the one to waltz right in on his brother in the shower and yet Sam was the one who was embarrassed, that just didn't seem right?

Dean was embarrassed too, that was an understatement, but more for Sam than for himself. I mean it wasn't as if he intended to watch his brother rubbing one out but it wasn't like it was the most insane thing in the entire world either. They were both guys and they had the same parts. They both got horny and they both touched themselves….not a big deal….right?

"I'm sorry dude, I-"

Sam pulled the shower curtain all the way around the tub, "Just get the fuck out!"

Sam hardly ever swore like that but when he did Dean knew that he was in serious hot water. Sam was going to fucking beat his ass when he got out of that shower. Dean winced thinking of the pain that was going to ensue, but he was a big boy and he could take it. Sam was blood free so his insane abilities were gone and therefore Dean stood a chance at being able to take his brother down.

Twenty minutes later, Sam came out of the bathroom; hair wet and fully dressed. "The shower's free." Sam's eyes never met Dean's once and he grabbed his duffel and started stuffing things into it, keeping himself busy.

Dean grimaced, "Sammy, seriously, everybody does it. It's not a big deal."

Sam couldn't even attempt to make eye contact with his nosy, more obnoxious, older brother. He knew Dean meant well and was just trying to make him feel better, but in that moment he didn't want to feel better. He wanted to wallow. He wanted to feel sorry for himself that he had to resort to jacking off in the shower and that he had been caught doing it. Life just wasn't fair. Why couldn't he just have the fucking blood that he so badly wanted? "Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone!"

Dean winced as though Sam had actually slapped him. He hated seeing his baby brother like this; he always felt this incessant need to protect him from everything, including embarrassment, but he had to admit that Sam was the master at embarrassing himself. It seemed as though Sam was always doing something that Dean found hysterical, but this time, this did not qualify.

Dean put his hands up in the air. "Okay, fine. Have it your way, stay cranky and bitchy for all I care." With that Dean smacked his brother on the ass with his towel and ran into the bathroom before Sam could jump him and kill him.

That night was like any other night. Dean conked out, snoring in his pillow and Sam lie awake, thinking about the horrors of the day. Not only had they been forced to deal with more fucking demons but he had been severely violated by his brother's nosy eyes.

Damn it, Dean! Sam thought to himself. Things like this just rolled off his brothers back, like he didn't even care. Sure, he was probably horrified in the moment but now that it was over it was like it never happened. Why couldn't Sam be more like that? What the hell? Why had Dean gotten so many of the good traits that he wished he had? Well, at least he was taller. He had to come up with something that made him feel better about himself.

Despite his frustration and his embarrassment, not to mention fear of history repeating itself, he couldn't deny that his cock was on fire once again. 'Is this how it is going to be all the time now?' How boring and sad his life was going to be if this was what he had to do a billion times a day in order to get the release he needed to calm his bloodlust. How could his life have come to this anyway?

"I can tell that you're stewing." Dean told his little brother, knowing that his interjection would only piss him off some more, but being unable to stand it anymore. Dean was not known for holding back what he was thinking and he also was not one to be shy about silly little things that guys just didn't waste their time worrying about.

Sam groaned, "Dean, seriously, just shut up and go to sleep!"

Dean sat up in his bed and looked at his brother, a defiant look on his face. "No! Come on, Sammy, you're being ridiculous!"

"Dean, you have no idea what this is like for me."

"Then please, enlighten me."

Sam frowned, "I can't talk about this with you."

"I'm your brother. If you can't talk to me then who can you talk to?"

Sam sighed; maybe his darling big brother was right. Maybe he should talk to Dean about it; after all if Dean knew what it did for him maybe he would be more willing to give him privacy. "Okay, fine, have it your way, but you're probably going to be sorry you asked for this after I tell you."

"Just try me."

"It helps me keep my bloodlust at bay."

Dean ran his hands through his hair, "Wait a minute. You're telling me that diddling yourself helps you forget about the demon blood?"

Sam cringed at the terms that Dean had used to describe the act. "Well, I don't completely forget about it, but it makes it a lot easier to not think about it."

"Huh." Dean said, thinking, "Well, I say that anything that has the power to do that for you is okay in my book. So, have at it Sammy, I'm all about you rubbing one out as often as you need to. Or I could hook you up with some girls…"

Dean's voice trailed on but Sam had stopped listening. Had Dean just told him that he wanted him to touch himself? That wasn't exactly the way he had anticipated that conversation going, that's for sure. When Sam finally realized what Dean was getting to, he chimed in, "you know I hate hooking up with random girls."

Dean smiled, "Well, I'm not going to hook you up with dudes."

Sam rolled his eyes; Dean thought he was so darn cute that it was sickening. "That's not what I mean, asshole. Besides, I don't need you to hook me up; I could get laid if I wanted to."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "remind me again why you don't want to."

Sam shrugged, "I prefer there to be some meaning behind it, you know. I'm not really interested in one night's stands. You know this about me; it shouldn't come as a shock to you."

Dean surprised both Sam and himself when he said, "You're probably right though; you could get action if you wanted to. You're pretty hot."

Sam was stunned; had he heard this right? Dean never said things like that to him. Dean wanted nothing more than to cement his tough guy, completely anti-gay reputation. Sure, Sam always suspected that Dean was a bit too homophobic for a solidly straight man, but Dean would never openly admit that he thought another guy was attractive….right? "You think I'm hot?"

Dean fidgeted in his seat; had he actually said that? He hadn't meant to say that, at least he didn't think that he consciously meant to say that. What the hell? Dean knew two things with complete certainty; that he was not a homo and that he did not have the hots for his own brother. So, why did he feel so uncomfortable; why was there a weird warmth running up and down his spine and settling into his groin? "Well, you are my brother, are you not? We share the same genes, Sammy, and I know I'm hot." Nice save Dean, he thought to himself.

Sam nodded; of course Dean would find some way to tie the weird, sort of compliment back to himself. Sam would have expected nothing less from his cocky brother. In a way he was relieved; it had been weird to have Dean saying crazy things to him, but in another way he was disappointed. There was something about the way his body had reacted to his brother's words. He had felt a kind of a tingle in his body that he could not explain; he just knew it felt strange and exciting.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – So Bored

Sam and Dean were at it again. They were in a small grocery store where they were forced to kill some more demons….it was always demons. As Sam stabbed the blonde bitch who was hurting Dean, he felt a sense of release…one more demon dead. He was always happy to kill the sons of bitches. Sam hated demons more than he hated pretty much anything; even the father of those demons.

Sam pulled the knife from the poor, unfortunate human form, which he was unable to help due to his abandonment of his powers, and looked at the blood oozing from it. It was so fucking enticing; it was calling to him. He ran his thumb across the blade, wiping some of the blood onto his hand; a hand that his mouth was jealous of. "Fuck!" Sam was so royally screwed that it wasn't funny.

Dean shook himself from the unconsciousness that threatened to envelope him and opened his eyes, processing the scene that was playing out before him. "Sam, don't!"

Sam jumped, being dragged from a bloodlust trance where he could focus on nothing but the luscious scent and feel of the blood on his hand. He looked at Dean, his eyes glazed over, cock so hard it felt like a brick, "This bites."

Dean found his legs beneath him and went to his brother. He pulled the knife from his hand, finding anything he could to wipe the blood from the blade. He was able to find a towel behind the counter and wiped the blade on it, followed by Sam's hand. "Maybe you shouldn't come on these hunts with me. I guess I didn't realize how hard this was for you."

Sam swallowed, "That's not the only hard thing that I'm thinking about right now." Sam wasn't even worried about what his brother would think of him, he had to direct his own attention onto his raging hard on so that he didn't get caught up on the desire for his favorite drink.

Dean couldn't help it; his eyes went right to Sam's crotch. It was a natural reaction, wasn't it? It didn't suddenly mean that he had a thing for his brother's dick. That was preposterous and just plain disgusting. So, why couldn't he seem to tear his eyes from it?

Sam needed to think about something; anything besides the blood, so he focused on Dean's face. What the fuck was he staring at? When he realized what it was that had Dean's attention he blushed and felt a rush race through his system. Was Dean staring at his tenting pants? It certainly looked that way.

Dean shook his head and regained control over himself; what the fuck was he doing? "Come on, let's get out of here." Dean's voice was a bit too husky for his taste and he was having trouble formulating his words. This whole situation was really rocking his world and he didn't know what to make of it.

They made it back to the hotel in silence; Dean had no idea what to say to his brother and Sam was too busy trying not to whip his cock out and relieve his tension to speak coherently. The ride back seemed to last forever, though it was actually about a five minute drive. When they finally got there Sam jumped out of the car and quickly grunted "I need a few minutes" before he disappeared inside of the building.

Great, Dean thought. What the hell was he going to do while his brother relieved himself? Was he just supposed to sit in the car and take a nap on the steering wheel? Tempting as that actually was, he had too much going on in his head to sleep. What the fuck was going on between him and Sam? Dean thought about it for a good few minutes before determining that it had been too long since he had last gotten laid and therefore everyone was looking good to him. You know you need a hooker when your own brother starts to look sexy. SEXY? Had he seriously just thought that? "I am seriously going to hell….again!"

Meanwhile, Sam was doing a number on himself. His cock was rock solid and oozing precum. He was practically blue-balling from the intense desires he was feeling. He had never wanted to fuck anyone so badly in his entire life. Not even the times when he had fucked Ruby to get her blood had he wanted it as badly as he wanted it then? He didn't know if it was just the bloodlust or the fact that things were kind of weird and kinky between him and Dean that had him all twisted up into an extremely horny knot or if it was some crazy combination of the two. In that moment he would have done anyone if it would have relieved his tension; he had never been this desperate before.

Sam's hand was slick with the precum that never seemed to stop oozing from his dark red cockhead. He groaned and bucked at his own hand, trying to do anything to get the release that he would have practically killed for. He tried everything; he tried to go slowly, he tried to go really fast, he tried massaging his balls and he even tried getting into the shower and letting the hot water stroke him while his hand did the rest of the work. No matter what he did, he could not seem to get off. What the hell? Why was his body torturing him so much? PLEASE! He begged inwardly and outwardly, yelling for anyone who could hear him to just fuck him and make it go away.

There was no hope. There were no people beating down his door to hop on for a ride, there were no other tricks up his sleeve. He was left with no choice but to break down and drink of his secret stash. He kept one flask full of demon blood just for emergencies. Thank God he had found the willpower not to drink it before. He ran to his bag and searched for his flask of pure heaven. When he pulled it out he basically ripped the cover off, not even trying to open it nicely, put it to his lips and drained the entirety of its contents in a matter of about two whole seconds. When he pulled his mouth away, he wiped his lips, sucking his fingers into his mouth. He wanted every drop; hell he NEEDED every drop. His body was desperate and aching. He fell onto the bed, naked and worn out, his cock still in his hand, feeling joyous relief for the first time in a long time.

He was about ready to sing with his own bliss, but then he realized what he had done. He stared into the empty flask and frowned to himself. He had lost his mind. He had given up on the willpower he was supposed to have been showing everyone. He went around telling everyone that he could do this but then he went and did that. He hated himself, even though he knew he had no other choice at the time. Reaching orgasm was the only thing to keep the bloodlust at bay, but what was he supposed to do when that stopped working? I guess his body had gotten bored of his backup plan.

He forced himself to get up and get dressed. He couldn't take too much longer or Dean was going to get really pissy at him. He threw his clothes back on and reached his head out of the motel, waving to Dean that he could come in. Dean jumped out of the car and ran into the room, wrinkling up his nose as soon as he walked in. "It smells gross in here."

Sam made a face, "Thanks a lot Dean."

Dean smiled, he hadn't meant the smell of sex that Sam always got after he relieved himself; that was fine. What he was referring to was the weird metallic smell mixed with something else that he couldn't quite place. "It smells different than it usually does afterwards."

Sam raised his eyebrow, "You remember what I smell like after I get off?"

"It's hard not to. That's all you do lately."

Sam folded his arms, "You try being me and see if you don't do the same things."

Dean smiled at his brother, thinking he looked kind of cute when he was being sassy and bitchy, but he would never tell him that. "Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam was glad that Dean didn't try to investigate things any further. He was more than happy to get back to their usual relationship.

"I'm going to take a shower." Dean didn't want to admit that he had touched himself in the car a little bit and he felt dirty afterwards. What was it that had made him feel dirty? It wasn't like he hadn't masturbated a thousand times in his life….probably more. I guess it was the crazy thoughts that kept creeping back into his mind as he was doing it that had gotten to him. It was too horrible to even admit to himself. "I'm going to get a shower and then I'm going out."

Sam nodded; maybe a little time apart would be a good idea.

Dean smiled, "I might be bringing home a hooker or two tonight, so you might want to be prepared to have to get out."

"Dean, come on!" Sam said. He hated it when Dean brought those skanky chicks back to their rooms. He could never be sure that they didn't use his bed for any of the dirty deeds and he hated the way he felt when he came back into the room to see the goofy grin on his brother's face.

"Okay, I won't get hookers, but I will at least pick up one hot chick at the local bar. So, you better be ready."

Sam rolled his eyes; it was always the same with Dean. He always had him mind focused on a set of tits and he found it extremely irritating. Why should it bother him so much, at least that would mean that he would have some time alone to get some rest or do whatever he wanted to do? Maybe he could go out and rent some porn in case he got another attack. "Whatever, Dean."

As soon as Dean was off into the shower Sam sighed and plopped down onto his bed. His cock had finally softened and he was quite relaxed, despite hating himself. Maybe he could do some research or check his e-mail or something while Dean was gone. He usually enjoyed having some time to do his own thing but this time he found himself irritated. Why was it different this time? What bothered him most about Dean going out and picking up girls?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Boobs and Bars

Dean was so excited to get out of that room with that brother of his. It's not that he didn't love his brother and want to be around him, but sometimes they just spent too damn much time together. There was not enough time spent with the opposite sex and it was obviously creating some problems for him. He was sure though that if he could get a nice piece of ass that all his problems would go away.

He drove to the nearest bar he could find; it was about 8 minutes from the motel. "The Kitty Kat Bar" he read aloud to himself as he got out of the bar, "Classy." Even Dean wouldn't normally be caught dead in a bar this skeevy but he was completely desperate. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

As soon as he walked in it was apparent that getting one of the girls to sleep with him was going to be just about the easiest task in the world. They all looked like they'd fuck anyone. Normally he liked a little bit of a challenge but now was not the time for wasting time. He needed a pussy and he needed it right away! He looked around and picked out the cleanest looking of the sex kittens that he could find and walked in her direction.

"Hello gorgeous, I'm Dean. I'm not from around here; do you think you could tell me where there might be a great place to get a hamburger?"

She looked up at him and by the look on her face he could tell that his plan was working perfectly. She was practically drooling. "You know, they actually make great hamburgers here. If you're interested I could show you around the place."

Dean smiled one of his winning smiles at her, "That would be wonderful. I really appreciate it."

She smiled, running her hand down his chest, "It's absolutely no problem at all. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

He sat down at the bar and looked at her, frowning, "I don't know, but I sure wish there was a pretty girl to sit next to me."

She giggled…..score! "I'd love to sit with you while you eat."

He smiled hugely at her, "You're such a nice girl."

Her hand reached out to stroke his leg as she sat down on the barstool beside him, "that isn't normally what guys say about me."

Dean practically giggled himself; he loved the cat and mouse game and he wasn't even doing a very good job playing it. He was actually failing miserably at his usual game, but it didn't really matter with this girl. He looked at her seriously for a second; she actually was very pretty. She had long blonde, wavy hair, deep blue eyes and a body people would pay some serious dough for. Her C-cups were accentuated by her tight, revealing shirt and her pants were practically painted on, revealing the cutest little ass he had seen in a really long time. She was just so damn fuckable! He wished he could prop her right up on the bar and take her right then and there. "What do you say we skip the pretense and the food and just go back to my hotel room?"

She looked at him with a twinkle in her eyes and let her hand slide up his leg and rest on his hardening member, "I thought you'd never ask." They were out of there in a flash and within two minute were inside of the Impala and headed back to the motel.

"I have to kick my brother out when we get there."

She licked her lips, "Why not let him stay?"

He raised his eyebrow; he hadn't really expected her to say that. "Sorry but you're not really his type."

She thought about it for a second and then nodded, "Oh, I get it."

Dean hadn't mean that exactly, but if she wanted to think Sam was gay so that she would keep her hands off then that worked for him. He had never given any thought to having a threesome with his brother and he had no intention of giving it any thought in that moment either.

Dean pulled the Impala into the parking space right in front of their room and jumped out of the car. His room key was in his hand simultaneously and he opened the door in a flash. "Sammy, you aren't naked or anything are you?"

Sam rolled his eyes, turning to meet his brother's eyes. He was sitting at the table on his laptop, not exactly naked or touching himself. "No, Deanie, I'm not."

Dean laughed, loving how Sam was being sassy and trying to get back at him for using his childhood nickname. "You need to get out now."

It was then that Sam noticed the blonde bombshell standing behind his brother. She was awfully quiet and actually seemed to be a little nice despite her slutty clothing. Sam had to admit that she was actually very attractive. Sam raised his eyebrow, surprised, "Wow, I'm actually pretty impressed."

Dean smiled, maybe he would give in and let Sammy fuck her to help him out. 'But, what about me?' He thought to himself, after all he needed a release too. "Do you want to stay, Sammy?"

Sam made a face. What exactly was Dean asking him. Was he asking if he wanted to stay and watch him get it on with this girl or was he asking if he wanted to participate? Of course he kind of wanted the second; he didn't really want to have to be naked with his brother to accomplish it. "Nah, I have stuff to do. Besides, you know that's not my style." Sam looked at Dean then and noticed that Dean looked like he was in need of a release himself. How come he hadn't noticed this before?

Sam looked sadly at his brother. The things that seemed to keep happening between them were putting a strain on their relationship and they were making them both react weirdly. These were not things that Sam wanted. Sam grabbed his keys and headed out of the motel before he could take one more look at that girl or his horny brother.

"Now, where were we?" Dean asked, turning his attention back to the hot chick, whose name he didn't even know.

She smiled at him, sliding her body over towards his and rubbing herself against his body, "I think we were about here."

Dean smiled down at her, reaching his hand up to brush the hair from her face, "You must think I'm incredibly rude?"

She smiled, "I think you seem like a nice guy. Besides, I'm not exactly gun shy when it comes to this kind of stuff."

"I never even asked your name."

She smiled again, "No matter, names aren't important." A little animalistic growl escaped her throat and she pushed him down onto the bed, straddling him around the waist.

He was taken completely by surprise. He was used to being the aggressor, definitely not the other way around. He wasn't sure how he felt about this; clearly she was a bigger slut than he had originally though. That or she had worse pent up sexual frustration and judging by her clothes he didn't think that was the case.

It was funny to Dean that in that moment he began to lose his interest in shacking up with this girl. Dean had never been one to let an opportunity pass him by, regardless of the situation, but for some reason the dominatrix act turned him off entirely. His recently hard cock went limp in his pants. What the hell? This girl was sexy, slutty, gorgeous and she obviously had excellent choice in men….what the fuck was his problem?

He pushed his body up to a sitting position, basically pushing her off him in the process. Her brow furrowed up in confusion. "What's the matter?"

Dean ran his hand over his hair, "I'm not sure. " He sighed, getting to his feet and turning to look at her, "I think I'm going to have to pass this time, sugar."

She looked at him blankly and swallowed. "Um, okay, I get it." She grabbed her things and started to head toward the door.

Dean reached out and grabbed her arm, "What? What do you get?"

"I thought I was imagining it before, but I guess I wasn't." She ran her hands through her hair in the most seductive of ways, "I saw the way you were looking at Sam. You just told me that he was your brother so I wouldn't know you two were an item. And, you only told me he was gay to hide the fact that you're really the one who's gay."

Dean's eyebrows rose, "Me? I'm not fucking gay! I've been with tons of chicks; hundreds of them."

She rolled her eyes, "Look, its okay, I understand; really I do. I felt the way you softened up when I got on top of you. You don't have to hide in the closet anymore, Dean."

Dean thought he might have thrown up a little bit in his mouth. WTF? Dean Winchester was not fucking gay! As the blonde bombshell left the motel room, Dean dropped down onto his bed, in complete shock. Why did this chick say those things to him? And, more importantly why was it the concept of him being gay that bothered him so much rather than the fact that she thought he was in a relationship with his own brother? His own fucking brother? Wait….he was never allowed to put fucking and brother in the same sentence again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – The Reveal

What the hell? Why was the chick leaving so quickly? And, why did she have that pissed off expression on her face? Sam was perplexed. The girl was hot as hell and she clearly had an interest in Dean, so what had gone wrong? Sam got out of the car; he needed to get back in there and make sure that Dean was alright.

As soon as he got out of the car, she spotted him and walked over. "Tell him I'm sorry, won't you?"

Sam looked at her confused, "Sure, of course, but if you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

She sighed, "Look, I'm not upset about being an experiment for him or anything but I had other offers and I turned them down because he was just so hot. I wish I had just gone home with that fat slobbery one." Her voice trailed off and she made a face, thinking about that nasty, greasy man who had made the moves on her earlier in the evening.

"Experiment?" Sam asked, confused.

She rolled her eyes; "You know exactly what I'm talking about. I bet it was your idea, wasn't it? You wanted him to stop looking at you like that, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. My brother wasn't looking at me like anything and you certainly aren't an experiment for him. He's been with millions of women and some of them haven't been half as gorgeous as you are."

"You think I'm gorgeous?" She cooed, twirling her hair around her finger.

Sam blushed, smiling; his dimples extremely pronounced, "Definitely."

She ran her hand down his chest, "What would you do if I got into that car with you and tried to ride your cock?" She reached out and wrapped her hand around his achingly hard cock.

He practically came his pants just thinking about it, "I'd fuck the shit out of you."

She was almost drooling and vibrating with excitement. She threw her body into his and reached up to pull him down for a kiss. As soon as his lips touched hers he growled and pulled her right into the backseat of Dean's beloved Impala.

He felt bad for doing this with the girl that his brother had picked out for himself but given Sam's current state of issues, he needed her. Foreplay was a total blur for him; he was just so mentally preoccupied. Ever since he had surrendered to the blood the bloodlust had been worse; he could hardly see straight. He needed to get his dick inside one of this girl's holes and he needed it immediately.

He didn't even remember stripping her down to nothing or how he got naked himself. This was not about love, romance or anything special; it was primal and he was in need of a major release. Normally he was relatively sweet with women but he just didn't have it in him this time and he knew she'd be fine.

He didn't even know what was happening until that blissful moment when his raging hard on was hiding deep inside her. The feeling was heavenly, especially in comparison to his hand. The part of him that still gave a shit wanted to make the experience pleasurable for her so nutting in three seconds was probably not going to cut it. It took all the focus he had to calm himself enough to give her a good fucking; but quite honestly this was not the kind of girl he'd ever get serious about and to him she was merely a human personal masturbator.

He postponed his ejaculation as long as he could but then he couldn't take it anymore. He felt her orgasm finally overcome her and within second he was cumming with her; filling up the condom that he had, luckily, managed to slip on during the moments before he slid inside her. Honestly he didn't even remember putting the condom on and he barely remembered much of anything besides the intense feeling of his release.

He peeled his body off hers and fumbled around for his clothes. He quickly and methodically dressed and slipped out of the car, offering her a hand to help her out of the backseat. She took it and hopped out. She looked up at him with a goofy grin on her face, "That was incredible!" She stood up on her tip-toes so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and place a kiss on his lips. He returned the kiss and then quickly released her, sending her on her way. He did smile and wave as she left. After she was gone he realized that he should have offered to give her a ride back. Wow, what a raging asshole he was turning out to be. 'It's pretty bad when Dean is more of a gentleman.'

Speaking of Dean, he needed to get inside and figure out what in the world was going on with him. He shook his head, he was a terrible brother!

Dean was still sitting in the same spot when he got inside the motel room. Sam went over to him, trying to shake him out of his stupor, "Dean! What's the matter?"

Dean shook his head, "I'm not gay."

Sam's brow was furrowed, "What are you talking about, Dean? I know you're not gay." He shook his head; what the hell was wrong with his brother?

"She said I was gay."

Sam raised his eyebrows, "Why in the world did she say that?"

Dean closed his eyes, "I lost interest."

Sam swallowed hard, "Well, that doesn't mean anything, Dean. Sometimes that happens for different—"

Dean cut him off, "She also accused me of having a thing for you." His voice came out kind of like a croak.

Sam stiffened, "But, that's—"

"Yeah." Dean shrugged and then changed the subject, "You stink like sex."

"I didn't think you minded that?" Sam wished he hadn't said that as soon as it was out of his mouth. He shouldn't be using the weird things that he had said, during his pent up frustration, against him.

Dean sighed; this night had been a total bust. Not only had he not been able to seal the deal with one of the hottest girls he'd ever seen in his life, but he was accused of being gay and wanting to bang his own brother. Epic fail is what he would definitely call that evening. "I don't know what happened."

Sam tried his best to be sympathetic; he needed to give his brother some reassurance. He reached over and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder but the heat reverberating off him made him quickly pull it back to himself. "Look Dean, we both know she was totally wrong. Don't let what she said bother you."

Dean nodded, trying to shake it off. "You're right, Sammy." Sam had made a very good point and Dean needed to try and listen to his brother. After all, Sam had been the one to go to college and everything so shouldn't he know a few things about life? "I just wish I could have proved her wrong." He looked up at Sam, meeting his gaze and noticed that Sam actually seemed rather peaceful. "Clearly you managed to help her out."

Sam grimaced, "I'm sorry, Dean. She came on to me and it was all kind of a blur-" his voice trailed off.

Dean put up his hand. "Don't worry about it, it's not like I have any claim to her; especially now."

Sam sighed; he didn't really know what to say to make things better. "She just wasn't right for you is all. You'll find another girl in the next town and everything will be fine."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Dean stood up and walked towards the bathroom door. He needed a few minutes alone to clear his head.

"Are you okay?"

Dean turned back to him, "I'm fine; I just need a few minutes." Dean went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him; shutting out his brother and keeping his problems within himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Birthday Suit

Dean woke in the middle of the night from a dream. He couldn't remember what the dream had been about, but he knew that it had been sexual in nature. His cock was hard and oozing juices like it was going out of style. He looked over at the other bed and noticed that Sam was sound asleep, his hand tucked into his pants.

What had their relationship come to? When had it gotten okay to touch themselves in the same room together? Next they'd be having two man circle jerk sessions. Dean cringed at himself for even think of it, but surprisingly he found that his cock responded in a more positive manner. He was practically blue balling from the dream, his thoughts and the tight constriction of his jeans. Why did he sleep in these crazy things so often?

He sighed and quietly unzipped his pants, with the intention of merely removing them from his body so that he could get back to sleep more easily. Once his pants were off he felt a little bit more comfortable, but found himself getting distracted by how much his shorts were tenting. He didn't think his cock had ever been this hard in his life. Part of him wanted to know what the dream had been about; though he was a little scared to find out.

He looked at his brother sleeping so soundly and peacefully and rationalized to himself about how he could easily relieve himself and Sam would never know the difference. Besides, it appeared as though Sam had rubbed on out while he had been sleeping too. What was good for goose was definitely good enough for the gander.

He pulled off his boxer shorts as well, throwing them to the floor, on top of his pants. He reached for his cock and began to stroke the thickness with his hand. He wished he was actually having sex but it still felt good. He wished he had another chance with that girl; he was sure he could get the job done. Something had just been off with him at the time, but he was confident that it wasn't a permanent thing.

He stroked himself until the moment of bliss arrived; fantasizing about the tits on that girl and how beautiful they would have looked naked. He would have been able to see them too if he hadn't gotten all soft on her. Of course his brother was able to get the job done; his lucky ass younger brother. That guy could stay horny while fucking a chicken. He always knew that underneath everything Sam was a horny bastard. As soon as this line of thought went through his mind he wondered why he had gone there. He had been thinking about the sexy blond and then his mind had gone back to his stupid brother. What the hell?

It didn't seem to make any difference to his cock though because he started spurting and shooting into his hand. He had somehow even managed to shoot right into his own eye; a fact he found irritating, gross and extremely impressive at the same time.

Dean looked over at Sam again; he was still sleeping soundly. He very quietly slid from his bed and slowly tiptoed over to the bathroom to get some tissues. He wiped the cum from his eye and then started working on his hand and cock. When he thought he had cleaned himself up well enough he turned back around and walked over to his bed.

"Dean? What are you doing up?" Sam's groggy voice startled Dean.

"Just go back to sleep, Sammy."

Sam sat up in his bed, "Are you okay?" He flipped on the lamp by his bed and then was able to get a good look at his brother; completely, one hundred percent, stark naked and still dripping. Holy shit! His mouth went completely dry and he had no idea what to say. His eyes were glued to his brother's completely gorgeous package. He tried to stop himself from staring, knowing it was a bad idea, but there wasn't anything he could do to stop it.

"What are you staring at?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted them. He knew exactly what his brother was staring at. It was obvious what he had been doing. It was only natural for someone to look at you, even if they didn't mean to, and he knew that if the tables were turned that he would probably be looking too. He wished he hadn't noticed what Sam was staring at because it made him feel uncomfortable and also hot under the collar. He had to remind himself that he was naked and was not allowed to get hard at all; even a little bit.

Sam blushed; he fucking blushed, "Nothing," he squeaked out, "I wasn't looking at anything. Now, put some damn clothes on." Sam turned over in his bed and lay down; his head facing away from his brother's naked gorgeousness.

Dean couldn't help it, he smiled. He loved that his nakedness made his brother uncomfortable, he just didn't know why. He also loved that he spotted the blush in Sam's cheeks that gave away the fact that he liked what he saw. 'Wait, what the hell am I saying?' Dean was completely uncomfortable in his own thoughts so he turned off the light and crawled back into bed, not even bothering to put any clothes on; he would just have to worry about covering himself up from Sam in the morning.

When morning did come Dean opened his eyes and looked around. He had managed to forget about the episode before bed, but it was short lived. As soon as his eyes met his brother's it all came back to him. Where was Sam going? "Sammy, what are you doing?"

Sam tried not to make eye contact with his brother. Unlike Dean he hadn't been able to stop thinking about everything that had been happening between them, even for one minute. In total Sam had probably slept about 1 hour since he had seen his brother's naked, dripping cock. "I need to get out of here."

"Were are you going to go?" Dean was immediately worried; he always worried about his baby brother.

"I think there's something in the water around here or something." Sam didn't want to have to get into what was really bothering him, he was sure that Dean understood.

Dean nodded, "I have to admit that things have been weird lately. But, I mean, we're both on edge and very frustrated, so…"

Sam shook his head, "I'm not sure it's really that simple. I just know that I need to get out of this place."

Dean started to get out of bed and then remembered that he was stark naked. Getting out of bed like that would do nothing to help the situation at hand. He tried to reach for his underwear but his arm just wasn't long enough. He slid off the bed and onto the floor, his arms reaching out to try and grab onto the bed. He landed on his ass on the floor with a thud.

Sam ran to him, kneeling down on the floor beside him, "Are you alright?"

Dean laughed, "Just clumsy I guess." He did his best to cover himself up; Sam's body was so close to him. Dean coughed, "I need my shorts."

It was then that Sam realized that Dean was right beside him in all his glory. His body went rigid. He reached over and grabbed Dean's boxer shorts and handed them to him, quickly getting to his feet and backing away.

Dean was the one to blush this time. Dean never blushed; what the hell was happening between them?

"This is what I'm talking about, Dean. I need to get out of this place and maybe things will get better."

Dean looked up at his brother, towering over his vulnerable body, with a sensitivity that Dean didn't know he had, "You're not going to leave me, are you?"

Sam's face softened, "No, I gave up doing things like that. It never lasts; we always end up together anyway." Sam felt a little queasy about his choice of wording.

Dean nodded, "Maybe this whole thing is something supernatural." Their eyes met as they processed this train of thought. A spark of recognition hit both of them at the same time. They both yelled simultaneously, "The trickster!"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – At Bobby's House

Sam and Dean spent the next week trying to find the bastard that they believed was making things so awkward between them. They had finally gotten to their whit's end, Dean having to sleep in the Impala and not happy about it either. They got the idea to visit Bobby and see if there was any way that he knew of to find the damn trickster.

"There is a summoning ritual." Bobby had told them, to which Sam and Dean looked at each other.

The sexual tension had not relaxed between them and Bobby was able to tell that something was completely different between the two brothers than there normally was. "You think the trickster is causing weird things to happen in your relationship?"

Relationship. Dean just didn't want to hear the word. He knew it was a completely legitimate word to use about any two people who cared about each other; it didn't mean anything more than their brother relationship, but it made him uncomfortable and made his cock harden in his jeans.

Sam was uncomfortable too. He could no longer be in the same room with his brother without getting a boner; he just didn't know what it was all about. He honestly wanted it to be the trickster causing this weirdness because then there was a completely logical reason for the whole fiasco.

Sam was sitting on the couch with Dean. Dean could feel the heat radiating from his brother; how had he never noticed the warmth that exuded from him? He was so hot, not even in a sexual kind of way; he was simply radiating this heat that went straight to the constriction in Dean's pants.

Bobby shook his head, "I'm feeling dirty just being in the same room with you two. I'm going to leave you two alone." Bobby would have taken any excuse to get out of the room with all the pure lust emanating from every nook of these two brothers.

"Dean…" Sam sighed, completely discontented with how needy and breathy his voice sounded.

"I know, Sammy." The truth was that Dean did know; he was painfully aware of the pheromones that were flying around the room and trying to attack them. He wasn't sure he had ever been this delirious and yet they weren't even touching. He had no idea what would happen if they did touch; it was entirely possible that they both might spontaneously combust.

"I just don't know what to do." Sam sounded so desperate that it tugged at Dean's heartstrings. No matter what crazy things were happening to them they would always be brothers first and Dean would always feel this need to take care of his precious Sammy.

Dean couldn't stand it anymore; he just couldn't sit back and let this go on any longer. He jumped to his feet, "I've gotta find this sick fuck and ream him a new asshole!"

Sam jumped up too, "Dean, please…"

Dean turned to look at his horny brother, swallowing hard, "Please what?" It was totally against his better judgment to ask that question; he knew he was opening himself up for an answer he wasn't ready to hear.

Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself to say the right things. "I don't know. We just can't go into this halfcocked, we-" Sam stopped himself there, blushing like a twelve-year-old girl.

Dean did his level best to try to ignore the way his body had reacted to Sam's words. "I get what you're trying to say. If I don't play this right he could get pissed and do even worse things to us."

"If there are worse things." Sam hadn't meant that as an insult on his brother, in fact if he had to be attracted to a member of his own sex then his brother was about the best specimen he could think of. Dean was….well, he was strong, determined, loyal, protective and totally hot. And he was _his_. Sam realized how strange that was after he thought it, but the fact was that Dean had always been his something; it was just unclearly defined this time. What were they to each other now? Had boundary lines been crossed that they could never un-cross?

Dean reacted as if he had been slapped. He didn't know why Sam's words hurt him so much, but for some reason they did just that. He felt the burn as if Sam had indicated that he wasn't worthy of Sam's love. Maybe it was a fair assessment; Dean had never been the cuddly type and Sam had always wanted that in a mate. A mate? What the fuck was he thinking about this for? There was definitely something fishy going on and he intended to get to the bottom of it.

Sam looked at his brother's face, hurt evident there. "Dean, I didn't mean it like that." He moved closer to his father-figure and looked into his eyes, "I just meant that this is completely far from what we had planned."

Dean nodded, swallowing hard, "I know, Sammy. I'm not upset, everything's fine." Dean talked himself off the ledge, because he wasn't really sure why he was even on it. He understood, better than anyone, how awkward this whole thing was. He never wanted to feel these things and it was one of the worst predicaments they could really be in. Everything would change if they allowed themselves to feel these things that they were desperately trying to keep under wraps. Dean ran his hands over his face; he definitely didn't want things to change between them.

Sam couldn't stop himself, he moved closer, too close. The closer he got to his brother the hotter his body got and the harder his dick was. He reached a hand out to rest it on his brother's shoulder, trying his best to show a brotherly kind of affection rather than the type of affection that his body was begging him to show. "Seriously Dean, I never meant anything by what I said."

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and begged his cock to soften. "I understand." He looked up into the warm hazel eyes of his precious little brother and tried his best to picture the little kid he had tucked into bed in those early years. "We need to find this a-hole and get things back to normal."

Sam gave his brother a sad smile; he had expected nothing less from Dean. "Right. Let's do it then." Sam paused, his breath caught in his chest, "I mean, let's catch this creep."

Dean nodded, "I know what you meant."

They both wanted to fix things, didn't they? Neither one of them wanted to be attracted to his brother, right? They both knew that things were not going down the way they had planned, that was for certain. They knew what they needed to do, but they found themselves just standing there, staring at each other, not moving.

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked into those loving green eyes; those sensitive cesspools that had looked back at him all those times Sam had needed him. He needed his brother just as badly now; he just needed him in a more multifaceted way.

Dean finally broke the silence, "Let's go figure out what we need for the ritual. We should fix this before something…"

Had Dean been indicating that if they didn't change things quickly things were likely going to happen between them? Sam couldn't help it; he felt heat rise through his body and settle into his cheeks. He had never felt anything this strongly in his life, he felt like his cock was literally burning and his whole body was weak and powerless to control the urges that he was feeling. Did he actually want it to stop or did he want a chance to see what this all meant? He didn't know the answer to that, but he did know that since things had gotten so out of hand that he hadn't been thinking very much about the demon blood. "I haven't been thinking so much about the blood lately, though. That's a good thing, right?"

Dean nodded, "Of course. It's always good to get that out of your system. I guess we can be grateful that something good has come out of this…situation."

Sam smiled, "Yeah, I guess it's hard to fuel your addiction when you find yourself addicted to something else." Sam bit his lip after he said it; he had not meant to give in to this passion. He hadn't meant to betray himself like that. He knew that Dean knew what he was thinking and feeling, but he didn't need to make himself such a slut.

Dean groaned without intending to. This was murder on him. He was addicted too. He wanted nothing more than to bend his little brother over the back of Bobby's couch, but that wasn't the relationship they were supposed to have. They were supposed to be partners in fighting evil, not partners in creating evil. Incest. That's what this was; that's why he knew there was no possible way that they could be feeling these feelings in and of themselves. Dean had a job to do; take care of his brother and keep him safe while killing all the evil bastards in the world. This job did not entail fucking his brother senseless; as much as he couldn't deny that he wanted to. When Dean found his words they came out in a needy, breathy kind of way, "Sammy, I….holy crap! We need to get out of her before I do something crazy." He didn't look back at Sam as he gave him the following order, "Talk to Bobby. Find out what we need for the ritual. I'll be in the car, I need some fresh air!" With that Dean went out the front door and headed to his beloved baby, where he could hopefully get himself to think more clearly.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – In the Impala

Sam came outside about ten minutes later, with a book and a bag with supplies. Fortunately for them Bobby had all the things they needed for the ritual. He got into the car, setting the bag between them.

The fresh air had helped Dean a little bit, his head felt a bit better. He had been able to think more clearly about the situation at hand. Things had been better until Sam was with him again. He had hardly ever noticed Sam's scent before but now it was all he could focus on. What the hell was happening here? "We're going to ride with the windows down."

"It's only forty five degrees out, Dean." Sam practically whined. He knew why Dean wanted to have the windows down but he wasn't looking forward to the cold air.

Dean smiled, "Come on Samantha, just put on your scarf and gloves if you're so worried about the cold."

Sam groaned, "Could you at least leave my window up?"

Dean laughed, "I guess I could, princess." Dean put his hand on Sam's leg. He quickly removed it. For a second, picking on Sam had helped the insane feelings to pass, but then picturing him as a girl hadn't helped at all.

Dean often picked on him about being a girl. He thought about the prospect of it. Would it change the relationship between them, would it make what they were going through easier to deal with? "This would be easier if I was a girl, wouldn't it?" Sam asked.

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Why in the hell would you ask me something like that?"

"Well, it wouldn't be so bad, I guess." Sam told him, honestly.

Dean made a face, "It would still be incest, it just wouldn't be quite as gay."

"Which would be easier on you." Sam added.

"Not really. If you were a girl I'd have to work even harder to keep you safe. My protective nature would be heightened even more and there would be absolutely no way that I would be able to violate you. No, it's probably easier this way; you're a grown man who can defend himself."

Sam smiled, "I think that if I was a grown woman I'd be able to defend myself too." Sam thought about what Dean said and started to laugh, "So, are you telling me that you're not as worried about protecting my virtue because I'm a man?"

Dean actually smiled at that, "It's very difficult to protect something that isn't there."

Sam actually smiled at that. Dean had a way of being such a jerk, but in a weird kind of endearing sort of way. He felt this compelling need to be the bitch that Dean always claimed him to be, "Well, I've never had anyone fuck me in the ass, Dean. So, in a way…"

Dean's throat was burning, he started coughing; choking really. "Please don't say things like that to me right now." He said, after he got his voice to work.

Sam smiled, "Why not?" He loved teasing his brother even though he knew it made him really sick and twisted. It was especially weird giving the circumstances and the subject that they were discussing, but it pleased Sam to have the upper hand, regardless.

Dean groaned, he really didn't need his brother to know how crazy this whole thing was. He didn't need his brother to see him falling prey to the tricks that he was pulling, "Because it fills my head with thoughts that don't need to be there." Dean told him, truthfully.

Sam swallowed hard, "Is it weird that I like that?" Sam didn't know why he was coming undone and being turned into Dean's little horny slut, but it was happening. He found his hand on the inside of Dean's upper thigh, torturing and teasing the older man.

Dean gulped, "Sammy…" Before Dean even knew what he was doing, he pulled the car over onto the side of the road.

Sam was immediately on the move then. He slid his body right up beside Dean's, moving the bag of ritual ingredients to the backseat. His mouth was at his brother's throat, lightly grazing, torturing and teasing at Dean's neck and earlobe. "Cut the Sammy crap, Dean. I'm bigger than you now."

Bigger huh? Dean couldn't help but think of the double meaning in Sam's statement. Despite the fact that Sam's body was right there; achingly hard and torturing him, he couldn't allow himself to give in. He had to keep the upper hand; he had to be the big brother in this situation. Sam could come undone, but Dean refused to allow himself to be pulled apart in the same manner. "Sam, please."

"Please what, Dean? What do you want?" Sam ran his hand up and down Dean's chest and washboard stomach. "Do you want me to stop?" Sam knew he was pushing his brother farther than he was willing to go, he knew Dean wasn't comfortable because he wanted it so much. There was no way Dean would ever willingly give in to this. It was weird for Sam because he had never thought about his brother in this way before. The way he was feeling about his brother had been the way he felt about the blood. Sam was more easily swayed by things, he always had been. Seeing Dean like this; horny, defenseless and struggling, it made Sam's need grow even stronger. He yearned to be in control of this, to show his brother that he didn't always have to take charge of everything. Dean didn't need to protect him anymore; he was a grown man now.

"Yes." Dean said. He did want Sam to stop. It was too much. He couldn't deal with having his brother's body so close to his. He was going to make a mistake; he was going to do something stupid and wrong that he could never take back. Sam had always been a bit of a slut for whatever that he happened to be currently obsessed with, but Dean was not the type to be dragged into the muck by anyone. He had stood his ground against his brother in the past; he had fought on the side of angels when Sam wanted to fight with the demons. He'd done the right things in the past and he would do it again. He would not allow his brother to make him come undone like this; he would fight his ass off against it.

Almost immediately Sam moved away from him. Sam didn't want to do anything to his brother that was unwanted. He couldn't do a thing like that. He felt bad, dirty inside. There was something wrong with him, he could feel it. It was more than the demon blood; he was a bad person, a very bad person.

Dean melted a little at the look on his brother's face. "Sam, no, it's not about you. It's all about me, okay? Dad gave me a job to do, Sam; I have to keep you safe."

"Screw dad, Dean. Who the fuck cares what dad wants us to do? This is not about him, he's gone!" Sam knew his words were hurtful, but he didn't care.

Dean shut his eyes. Sam's words cut him like a knife. Everything he had done in his life was to gain approval from his father, always wanting John Winchester to love him as much as he loved Sam. He couldn't do anything right, he had failed the man. That single tear slid down Dean's cheek and he bent his head down, practically into the steering wheel so that Sam wouldn't see.

Sam noticed; he always noticed. As soon as he realized what was happening his heart broke into a million pieces. He couldn't believe that he had made his brother cry. He swallowed the lump in his throat, "I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to…"

Dean shook his head. His brother's words were not helpful. He didn't want to be reduced to a blubbering pussy; he just wanted to pretend the whole thing wasn't happening. "I can't do this, Sam. Not _this_!"

Sam nodded; he had known that before he even started. He wondered why he had even bothered trying. He had to ask himself if this was what he really wanted anyway. Did he want to be reduced to seducing his brother for some action? Did he want to spend his life living in secret, hiding in shadows to fulfill needs that only his brother could fill? Did he want to really lead this life of homosexual incest? Was this truly what he wanted for himself? "I knew that all along, Dean. I knew you'd never do this."

"Then why try, Sam?" Dean was being overly emotional now. One could argue that he was more the girl than Sam.

Sam shrugged, "I don't know. I just feel this pull that I can't deny. I know it's wrong, Dean. I know I shouldn't feel this, but all my life I've given in to the things that I wanted. I don't really know how to fight this."

Dean actually smiled at that. He had spoiled his brother rotten; he knew that, "You're such a man whore, Sam."

Sam gave his brother that bitch-face that ensured Dean that he was, in fact, the guy in the relationship. Whatever that fucked up relationship was at this point. "Sam, I will never lie to you; I need you to know that. So, in all honesty, it's not like I can deny that I liked what you were doing. What I didn't like was the way it made me feel."

"Dirty?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded, "Yeah, that and helpless. I've never not been in control of something. I've never felt so out of control in my life and that scares me." He didn't think he'd been this open with his brother, ever.

Sam slid a little closer to his brother and looked at him, under his lashes, melting him. "I guess I just wanted some control for the first time in my life."

Dean reached out to run his hands over his brother's head, "This is just so….huge. It's not like we can just go back. Everything will change and I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

Sam nodded, reaching out to wipe away the tears that had fallen from Dean's eyes. "It's okay; let's not worry about it anymore. Let's just go summon the asswipe and go from there. Hopefully we can just reverse this and things will be back to normal again." He hated seeing Dean like this, hated that he was hurting in this way. Sam didn't know if he truly wanted to change it back, after everything, but he wanted this for his brother. He didn't want to have to see Dean like this anymore. Seeing his brother cry was the single worst thing that could ever happen to him. He would do nothing to make it better. "Dean, you raised me, you took care of me. You did that for me, the least I can do is try to make things better for you right now."

Dean pulled his brother close, hugging him tightly. In that moment he didn't feel this overwhelming urge to fuck him senseless, he just wanted him close. He just wanted to show his brother that he loved him, more than anything or anyone else in the whole world. No matter what happened between them, Dean knew that he would be okay as long as he had Sam.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – The Trickster

Once they had collected themselves, separated and got back on the road, they headed to an abandoned warehouse about ten miles away. There they would set up the supplies they had gathered at Bobby's in order to summon the damn trickster.

Dean let Sam do most of the work; Sam seemed to have a knack for putting spells together for some reason. While Sam worked, Dean paced. "Baby's breath? Seriously, one of the things you need to summon the trickster is baby's breath?"

Sam smiled, "I guess so, Dean."

"Bobby has some of that crap?" Dean asked.

"Apparently." Sam replied, trying very hard not to look at his brother's face. Looking at Dean made everything worse. For some reason since this all happened he couldn't look at Dean's face without noticing those kissable lips and those deep green eyes. His brain went to mush and his cock spring-loaded into action just upon gazing at the too-perfect face of his extremely good looking brother.

Dean sighed. He was doing everything in his power to keep the conversation light and away from anything sexual, but it seemed as though there just wasn't anything left to talk about. Everything he wanted to say could get him into serious trouble. All the thoughts swarming his brain were too risqué to discuss when he was trying to behave himself.

Sam shrugged off the feelings that were hitting him and turned his attention back to the work at hand. "Come on Dean; let me get this stuff together." If he kept the focus on work for both of them then maybe they could pretend that this was like any other hunt.

Dean shut his mouth so that Sam could work. He was extremely glad that neither of them currently had a boner or was crying; that was definitely a step in the right direction.

Sam recited some words from a book in Latin and they waited. The brothers looked at each other, thinking about only one thing in that moment…would the trickster really appear? They were just about ready to call the whole thing a bust when they heard someone clap their hands, "Sam and Dean Winchester, you missed me didn't you?"

Dean caught the ass-clown's eye and glared at him, "I have a bone to pick with you."

Sam raised his eyebrow, interest evident on his face.

The trickster smiled that hugely enormous grin that always pissed Dean the hell off, "Why Dean, I don't swing that way. Maybe you should look to your brother, here."

Dean went to him, forcefully grabbing onto the man's shirt and jacket, "What the fuck man? You're a sick bastard! How could you do this to us?"

The trickster raised his eyebrow, "What exactly is it that you're accusing me of?"

"Don't get cute with me, dick! We know exactly what you've done and we're not at all impressed."

Sam sighed, "You might as well unhand him, it's not going to help."

Dean groaned, "Just fix us, okay?" He said as he loosened his grip on the goofy, neurotically happy clown.

"I'd love to, Dean-o, but I would have to know what I've done to you before I can fix it." He said with an expectant look on his face.

"Always with the head games, huh trickster?" Dean asked, not at all impressed.

Sam folded his arms in front of him, uncomfortable about having to admit all of this out in the open, "Look, you know what you did. This…whatever between us….that needs to go away."

Dean nodded, "What he said." Dean was even more uncomfortable about having to reveal the details than Sam had been.

The trickster giggled, "So, let me get this straight. You two want to jump each other's bones and somehow that's my fault?"  
Dean groaned, "Don't play cute here, bucko, this whole situation has your stench all over it."

The trickster raised his eyebrow, "Boys, boys, come on. You two have been dancing around these feelings for years, why would it suddenly be my fault."

Dean practically put the douche nozzle in a choke hold. He knew he couldn't hurt the trickster that way, but he could piss him off; that would have to do for the time being. "Just fucking fix us, now!"

The trickster put up his hands. Sam raised his eyebrow, "Dean, let him go."

Dean rolled his eyes but obeyed his little brother's commands and let the fucker go. "Start fixing, wise ass."

"You know, I'd love to, really I would, but I can't." He told them, that stupid smile plastered back on his face.

"Why the fuck not?" Dean wasn't much in the mood for stupid conversations. The fact was that it was painful to be in the same room with his brother and it just had to stop; for the love of God, it just had to stop!

The trickster sighed, "I may have strong powers, boys, but they're not that strong. I may be able to make objects appear out of thin air and alter a person's surroundings, but I don't have the power to alter human emotions. Whatever it is you are feeling here, that's all you. You see, nobody is strong enough to alter true emotions, not really; except God."

Dean scrunched up his forehead, "Why the hell would God want this?"

"Must be he really does have a sense of humor." The trickster backed up from the brothers, not intending to further this ridiculous conversation. "You really must look inside of yourselves for the solution to this problem. Now, I'm gonna get out of here and leave you two alone."

Dean practically growled at the supernatural being as he disappeared; the last thing he wanted or needed was to be alone with Sam under these circumstances. "Well, that was just fucking great." Dean said sarcastically with a deep sigh.

"Tell me about it." Sam agreed.

Dean found himself thinking back to all the times that people had thought that they were gay lovers. Sure, he had been irritated about it, but had always managed to let it roll off his chest, like it wasn't any big deal. This had never really been an issue before now. Now that they were staring down the barrel at this, it was all too real for him. What were they going to do now? The only hope or prayer that either of them had at fixing this whole mess was the trickster. What were they going to do now that that hadn't panned out?

They gathered up all the fantastic ritual elements and headed back to the car in complete silence. Neither one of them wanted to say what they both knew was a shared sense of defeat. How could two brothers talk about something like this?

Dean didn't want to go back to Bobby's, hell he didn't even want to tell Bobby how the whole thing had turned out. He was just too ashamed and embarrassed for words.

Sam was feeling something similar. Of course he didn't want people to know how truly fucked up they were, but he was also glad to know that monsters couldn't fuck with their feelings. That was actually a refreshing kind of thing to know. He caught a glimpse of his brother's brooding face out of the corner of his eye and sighed, "Sooner or later we're going to have to talk about this."

Dean didn't speak, he merely grunted a response. He was not interested in having girl talk with Sam at the moment.

Sam reached out and placed his hand on Dean's leg, "Dean, come on."

Dean flinched and pulled away hard and fast. He wasn't up for any games and he certainly didn't want Sam coming onto him again. "Don't touch me!" He snapped. He frowned to himself when he saw how Sam flinched in response. He hadn't meant to be so mean; he was just being controlled by so many conflicting emotions. "Sorry." He muttered, halfheartedly.

Sam frowned; was this how it was going to be now? "Dean, you can't get mad at me just because things didn't go the way you wanted them to."

Dean turned his head to glare at his brother, his knuckles gripping the steering wheel so tight that they turned white. "I can be mad at whoever the fuck I chose to be mad at!"

Sam raised his eyebrow, "It's not really me that you're even mad at, Dean."

"Don't go all Dr. Phil on me here, okay? Just shut up and let me drive in peace and quiet!" Dean had heard enough. He wasn't in the sharing and caring mood. He had no intention of opening up and discussing his feelings to the brother who he had such a fucked up relationship with.

Sam nodded his head, but couldn't formulate any words. He was fighting at tears that were stinging his eyes. Dean had taken out his frustrations on him before, this was nothing new, but so many things were different now that he took things so much more personally.

When Dean got a good look at Sam he felt his chest constricting. Seeing Sam cowering like that made Dean sick to his stomach. This was the way so many conversations between John and Sam had gone down. Dean had tried so hard to be the peacemaker of the family, always looking out for the needs of everyone. This time he was no good to anyone, he couldn't look out for the needs of his brother anymore, not like this. He wished there was something that he could say to magically make everything better, but Dean had never been great with words. He had never been one to be able to express his emotions for others. Sam was the only person who had ever been able to get under his skin. Normally this had been mildly annoying, but under the circumstances it was actually quite dangerous. Opening up to Sam now would lead Sam into a false sense of security; he needed Sam away from him as quickly as possible, so if he had to be a hardcore asshole in order to accomplish his goal then that's what he would do.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 – First Kiss

Things did not improve between them. They spent the next week hunting anything and everything they could get their hands on. Dean slept in the Impala and Sam tried desperately to get him to talk to him, but to no avail.

Dean was a mess of pent up frustration and emotions. There was nothing he wanted more than to pour out his heart to Sam and hope that his brother wouldn't look at him as if he had grown four new heads. He needed Sam more than he was ever willing to admit to himself or anyone else for that matter. His life felt empty and pointless without the incessant need to care for his baby brother.

Sam wasn't exactly in a very good place in his life either. Every night he was reduced to a pile of whimpering goo as he cried himself to sleep. He missed the way things used to be, he missed having Dean around and he even missed Dean's wise ass remarks; overall, he just missed _Dean_. Having Dean around made him feel as if all was right with the world. He slept more peacefully when he knew that his brother was there, keeping his eye on him. He never realized how much he needed Dean until this whole mess had transpired.

Of course they still saw each other, but only on hunts and only as partners. There was no relationship to speak of. Dean would pick Sam up in the Impala and they would drive to whatever hunt they were going on. They'd kill the bad guys and then Dean would drop Sam back off at the motel. They didn't chat, they didn't listen to music, they didn't go to the local bar and get beers together; they didn't even eat together. Their arrangement was merely one of convenience. They were working jobs together and that was it.

One morning, about a week after they had their run-in with the trickster, Dean had something to tell his brother when he slid into the passenger side. "I have two hunts. They're not local."

Sam nodded, "Okay, where are they?"

"There's a vampire nest in Wyoming and a haunting in California. I thought you could do the vampire thing; you're better at ripping off heads anyway."

Sam shook his head, "No!"

"Okay fine, I'll take the vampires and you can do the salting and burning. Whatever floats your boat."

Sam glared at Dean, finally ready to speak up for the first time the entire week, "That's not going to happen either. I'm not going anywhere, Dean."

"Fine, then you stay here and I'll go travel the country killing the monsters. You've always wanted to be on your own anyway, so now's your chance." Dean knew he was being vicious and nasty, but he just couldn't help himself.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?"

Dean's eyebrows rose, "excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm sick and tired of this crap, Dean!"

Dean folded his arms across his chest, "Well, this is me, take me or leave me. If you want out, just go."

"You'd love that wouldn't you? Things would be so much easier on you if I just left." Sam didn't know how much more he could say before the tears he was holding in started to overflow.

Dean didn't have a response; he just sat there looking at Sam in stunned silence.

Sam took a second to compose himself before continuing. "So what if the trickster wasn't behind this? It doesn't change anything, we're still the same people we were before and nothing is going to change that. You can't push me away just because you're scared, Dean. You know what, I'm scared too; I'm fucking scared to hell. Do you think I want this crap? Do you think I want to be fucking attracted to my own brother?" Sam couldn't help it, the dam had ruptured and the tears had begun to pour from his eyes.

Dean's heart shattered into a million pieces. He slid over to Sam, wrapping his arms around his baby brother's shaking frame. "Sammy, please don't cry."

Sam shook his head, "I can't help it. You're all I have in this whole world and I can't stand the thought of losing you too."

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat, "You won't, not really."

"I would if you pushed me away and we went our own separate ways. I can't handle that, Dean."

"I'm sorry, Sammy, I shouldn't have done that. I just—I don't—I don't know how to control whatever's going on here. I don't know how to keep you safe like this."

"Safe from what?" Sam asked, completely confused.

"Safe from me." Dean shook his head, wanting to shoot himself for having to admit this.

Sam cocked his head to the side, "Why would I need to be protected from you?"

Dean gestured in the air, between their bodies, "From this….whatever it is."

Sam sighed, "I don't know what's going on here, neither of us does, but I know that whatever it is we'll get through it just like we always do. We'll work it out…together."

"Dad gave me a job to do. I have to look out for you, I have to protect you. I don't know how to do anything else; it's all I'm good for." Dean admitted.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me. It was dad's job to take care of me; I'm his son, not yours. Dad fucked up royally, he dropped the ball and he left me in your hands. You did the best you could, you basically raised me. I know that just as much as you do. Look, the bottom line is that your job is over now. I'm grown up and I don't need you to protect me. Of course, I'll always need my big brother there for me; I'll always _want_ you there for me, but you have so many other skills and talents that go beyond the things that dad called you to do."

Dean shook his head, "Nah, he saw me for what I was; a good soldier and nothing else. I followed his stupid orders, without question. He asked this one major thing of me and I fucked it up. How can I keep you safe if I cross boundaries that should never be crossed? I'm not the kind of person that you want, Sam. I don't know how to show my emotions, I'm not good with feelings. I was raised to do one thing and one thing only and that's protecting you. I'm not the kind of person that gets to have things. I'm not the kind of person who gets to be loved."

Sam pulled his brother close to him then, letting the vulnerability of Dean's words sink in. He knew that Dean had felt insignificant in his dad's eyes, but he never completely got it. He never really saw that Dean believed that he wasn't good enough to be loved. How was that even possible? Sam's devotion to his brother had been that of hero worship for most of his life and love once he got to see his brother as an equal.

Tears stung at Sam's eyes as he cupped Dean's chin and titled his head up to meet his gaze. "Dean, you deserve so much more than me. You deserve everything. All you've ever done is sacrifice for everyone else. You took care of mom when you were just a little, little boy. You took care of dad and me when you were a little older and you're still taking care of me now. The only person you don't know how to care for is yourself." Sam put his hand on Dean's chest, "You are the kindest person that I know, with the biggest heart, and you just can't see it. You have no idea who it is that I've looked up to all these years; it wasn't mom, dad or Bobby, it was you. You are everything to me Dean; I need you to know that."

Dean was so full of emotion that he couldn't even hold his head up. He let it fall to Sam's chest, letting Sam take care of him for the first time in his whole life. Sam's arms were warm and comforting; Dean's favorite place in the world. He hated having to show sides of himself that he would rather bury. He hated that he was so emotional; such a girl. In a way he had aged quickly; seeing his mom die at the age of four and then having to travel the country over while his dad went out into the night to kill monsters who wanted to kill or eat him. Those things aged him, made him lose his innocence real fast, but in another way he had stopped growing and maturing the night of his mother's death. He had been so close to her, really Mary's child, and having her ripped from him had been the most painful experience that any child could ever go through. There was a big part of him that had died inside on that night. There was a part of him that was closed off, unavailable, always trying to fill the void that her death had left in his heart. For this reason he could never truly love another woman, never find one that would be up to his standards; he could never find a woman to replace his mom. The only people he had allowed himself to love, after her death, were his father and his little brother. His father hadn't gotten him, didn't see who he really was the way his mom had. _Little Sammy_. Sammy was different, very different. Sam wasn't plagued with the memories of Mary's death. Sure, Sam would never know the feeling of having a real home and what it was like to be a part of a real family, but he could have a chance to have more than Dean could ever have. Sam could go to college, get a job and lead an apple pie life. He could have had that if Dean could have just let his brother go and be happy.

"I'm sorry, Sammy." Dean said his voice barely above a whisper.

"Sorry for what, Dean?"

"For bringing you back into this life after you had gotten out. If you hadn't left then Jessica would probably still be alive and you could be happy right now. You could have been so happy with her; with the family that you've always wanted. You could have had so much more than I could ever give you." Dean shook his head, "I was weak and selfish. I wanted you with me so badly that I ruined your life."

"Shhh," Sam whispered against his brother's cheek, "That's not true Dean. If I didn't love you and dad I wouldn't have left her, especially after the nightmares I had been having."

"You did it for me."

Sam shook his head, "No, I did it for me. I did it because I love my big brother more than anyone else in the whole world. I always will." Sam knew it was probably the wrong moment, but he took this moment to cup Dean's chin with his hand and pull his brother's face closer. When Dean's face was centimeters from his own, he closed the gap between them, placing his lips securely against his brother's lips.

Dean pulled back slightly to look at Sam's face. "I can't, Sammy…this will change everything. I have to pro…"

Sam smiled and kissed his brother again, more urgently this time, "If you say that you have to protect me one more time I think I'm going to smack you."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Well, aren't you the dominant one?"

Sam laughed, "You love it! Now, shut up and kiss me!" Sam knotted his fingers up in Dean's shirt and pulled him close so that he could once again capture his big brother's lips with his own. Passion built between them as they began breathing heavier and their tongues met in an intense struggle for dominance. Sam sighed as he found himself conceding the control to Dean. He knew that Dean needed to believe that he was in charge in order to feel comfortable; he could let his brother have that at least for that moment.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 - Breaking Down the Walls Around Dean's Heart

They were kissing passionately, steaming up the windows of the Impala, when Dean pulled back once again. "Seriously though, Sammy, if we do this we'll never be able to take it back. This is going to change everything."

Sam smiled, "Well, I should hope so. I'm gonna rock your world, Dean."

Dean raised an eyebrow and couldn't deny that his erection doubled in size. "Sammy…." His voice was so husky and needy that Sam felt tingles running up and down his spine.

"Dean." He said as he captured Dean's lips again, aggressively. He took him, biting at his lower lip and claiming him as his own.

"You're absolutely sure?" Dean asked again, once he could come up for air.

Sam sighed and rolled his eyes, "For fuck's sake Dean, would I practically be on top of you if I wasn't sure. Now, shut the hell up and let me have you!"

Wow! Dean couldn't believe what a little slut his Sammy was turning out to be. Holy hell. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for the need, the want that came with kissing those hot lips. Sam's hands were all over him, holding him closely, dominantly showing him who he belonged to. "Could we go somewhere more comfortable?" Sure, it wasn't like he'd never fooled around in the Impala before, but he just really didn't want to do this with Sam in the car.

Sam shook his head, "No, Dean, this is pretty much our home. Let's have our first time here, okay?"

Dean smiled; he could never deny his brother anything. "Okay, if that makes you happy then it makes me happy."

Sam smiled, "That's why I love you Dean." He kissed Dean sweetly and romantically for a couple seconds before he found himself growing intensely needy and wanting Dean's cock.

Dean thought he was going to jizz himself as soon as Sam's hand came to rest on his jean-clad erection. It was so hard, so ready, he couldn't stand it. He let out this sluttly little moan that made Sam laugh against his mouth.

"I can't be held responsible for anything that I do when you're making noises like that." Sam said, palming Dean's boner, rubbing hard through the fabric of his jeans. Sam was so desperate for Dean that he didn't know what to do. He had to maintain the control over the situation, because he knew that if Dean started taking over then it was likely that he would put a stop to things before they got much further.

Sam struggled with the button on Dean's pants, wanting to get them off so that he could see the cock of his dreams. It wasn't as if he had never seen Dean naked before, but he hadn't really ever paid that much attention. Once he got the button unbuttoned he worked with the zipper. His hands were shaking slightly with his own desperation, but he didn't want Dean to see it.

Once Dean's pants were unzipped Sam reached his hand inside to pull the rock hard boner from Dean's boxers. He licked his lips as soon as it was visible for him. He let his hands linger over it, touching, rubbing and caressing the reddening skin. He squeezed onto the base and slid his hand up, catching the precum that was oozing from the tip and earning himself a breathy moan in response. Dean's noises were enough to make him go completely crazy. He couldn't stand how much he wanted him.

He looked up into Dean's pleading eyes as he bent his head to take the aching member into his mouth. He'd never given anyone head before but this was his brother so he wasn't really all that nervous. He tried to keep his throat relaxed and slowly take more of Dean's cock inside him a little at a time. He had one hand on the base, continuing to jerk onto him, while allowing his free hand to massage and play with his big balls.

Dean thought he was going to cum right away. He'd received head many times in his life, but nobody was as good as his brother. Sam was a fucking natural at sucking dick and it was fucking perfect. "Yes, Sammy." He moaned out, his face reddening as the realization hit him that it was his baby brother's name that he was calling out in the throes of passion.

"Hmm, yeah. You taste so fucking good, Dean." Sam murmured, taking a quick second to come up for some air.

Dean didn't know what to do with his hands. He wanted to touch his brother, more than anything else in the world, but he just didn't know if he could. He was dizzy with passion and yet completely uncomfortable in his own skin. Why couldn't this be happening with anyone but Sam? It would be so much easier if it was someone else. As soon as he thought about it, though, he came to realize that it had always been Sammy and it always would be. No matter what it was always there; that sexual tension that had gone untapped for so long. How many times had they each given each other once overs just to look away quickly when the other caught them looking? They were so completely dependent on each other that it was scary, particularly him with Sam. He couldn't breathe, couldn't eat, and couldn't function without his little brother by his side; this was a thought that reduced him to a whimpering idiot at the reality of it all.

Sam's hot breath was by his ear then, "Dean, please. Everything is fine, would you please just relax?"

Dean rested his forehead against Sam's shoulder, "I think I'm the girl, Sammy. How can you be so calm about all of this? It's killing me."

Sam ran his hand through Dean's short hair, trying to calm his super stressed out body. "I've always known you were the girl here, Dean, doesn't come as too big a shock to me." He smiled, "I'm scared too, I promise."

Deep inside Dean were these feelings that he'd never felt before. His whole body felt as though it was literally burning alive and his brain had turned to mush. His heart was practically palpitating out of his chest and sweat almost poured from his forehead. He was spiraling out of control with fear and nerves that he felt like he might actually be sick.

Sam stopped touching him then. He pulled back and noticed the terror on his brother's face. "Hey, it's okay. Talk to me Dean; tell me what's going on."

He shook his head, words would just not come. He could taste bile rising up his esophagus and felt as though he was going to hurl.

"Let's go inside." Sam said, really concerned about his brother. The way that Dean was looking was just not okay with Sam. He couldn't do this with him, not like this. Sam actually had to help Dean from the car and into the motel; Dean's knees were wobbling so much.

In the end Sam picked him up and lay him down onto his bed. He went right to the small motel refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. "Here, drink this."

Dean took the bottle from his brother and drained about half of it before turning to look back at Sam. "I'm sorry."

Sam shook his head, "Please, don't be. It's okay." Sam realized that it was going to take some time for Dean to get used to the idea of this situation. This whole thing was really messing with Dean's head and even maybe his own identity. He wanted to give Dean time to sort it all out in his head, but he didn't want to give him too much space during that time. He needed Dean to know that he wasn't going anywhere and that he couldn't just throw a tarp over the whole thing and hope it went away. So, instead of leaving Dean to lie there for a little while and stew, Sam slid into the other side of the bed and laid his body up against his brother's. "You just need some time to get used to things, I understand that. I'm not going anywhere, Dean."

Dean nodded his head, "I know that, Sammy. Thank you."

Sam kissed the sensitive area below Dean's ear and wrapped an arm over his brother's midsection. "I'm not just going to pull back and let you run from this though you know."

"I figured." Dean said, almost smiling, "You are really stubborn."

"I guess I learned that from you and dad." He kissed Dean's ear, earning a small moan from his brother.

"I can't stop thinking about how fucked up this is." Dean said, "I mean, this isn't what our parents would have wanted for us."

Sam shrugged, "More than anything I think they just wanted us to stick together. We're doing that." He softened dramatically, "I know how freaked you are. You're not the type to let people in. It's so hard for you to talk about certain things, like mom's death."

Dean's body went completely rigid against Sam. Sam had hit onto a subject that was entirely too painful to be discussed. "I can't talk about that, not even with you."

"Why?"

"Because I messed up. I couldn't keep her safe, I couldn't keep dad safe and now…" Dean's words caught in his throat and he choked down a sob.

"Now you feel like you're not keeping me safe." Sam finished for him. He kissed Dean on top of the head, the way he would kiss a small child, "You can't blame yourself for what happened to mom and dad. Besides, this thing between us doesn't change the fact that you've always kept me safe. You've done everything for me, Dean. It took me a good long time to really see you for who you are deep down inside. You were scared and overcompensating. The tough guy hard ass thing was all for show so that you didn't have to let anyone get too close to you. Well, it's not going to work on me anymore, Dean. I know who you really are. I know you better than anyone. You can trust me Dean, I'm not going anywhere and I'm not going to break your heart, never again. I'm never going to run off again, okay? I don't want that other life anymore; I don't even like apple pie that much." He smiled, "Besides, life isn't right unless it's with you."

Suddenly the last of the walls that Dean had built around his heart began to crumble. Sam was the only one he could let inside, the only one he could trust. Sam was his everything and he always would be. Sam was his chance at redemption; his chance to be happy.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – The Escape

Dean woke about an hour later, still wrapped up in Sam's arms. He closed his eyes, relishing in the feel and scent of his Sammy. He felt so warm and safe there, and yet his nerves were on fire once again. He hated that he could be reduced to such need and dependence; he hated himself for the way that he was feeling.

There was no doubt in Dean's mind; he just had to get out. He felt so bad for leaving Sam there, looking so sweet and loving and _happy_. He cringed at the thought of how Sam would feel when he woke to find Dean gone. It was a heartbreaking thought, but one that he could not avoid. He very slowly slid his body from his brother's embrace and turned back to look at him once again. 'Bye Sammy' he thought to himself as he chocked down the sob that was threatening to escape. Sam would think him a horrible person when he woke and realized what had happened. Dean knew that he probably was a horrible person, but getting away was all he could do to try to be a good _brother_.

When he got outside he slipped back into his baby. He didn't want to waste time thinking too much about what had happened the last time he was in that car. He didn't want to think about any of it; he wished he could crawl in a hole and die, or better yet, wake up and realize that the whole thing had been a terrible, miserable dream. He quickly turned the key into the ignition and pulled out of that parking lot at the motel. He never wanted to see that motel again as long as he lived.

* * *

Sam woke a little while later feeling strange. He didn't know what was going on at first. He felt different; like something had happened the previous day that had made a big impact on his life. After a few more moments of coherency occurred it all came flooding back to him. He remembered those glorious moments in the Impala when he had been kissing the soft and luscious lips of his beautiful big brother and then he thought about the conversation that he had in the motel room. He remembered how they had fallen asleep in each other's arms for the first time since they were little kids and he had a bad dream. _Dean_! Where the hell was he?

Sam sat up, in panic mode. He was terrified that his brother was gone. He tried to tell himself that Dean was just in the bathroom, or had gone out to get something from the car…anything to avoid having to come to the conclusion that Dean had taken off and left him there, alone. Sam got out of bed and immediately went to check the bathroom. No Dean there. He ran to the window and threw the curtains open, looking outside to the parking lot for the Impala. No Impala to be seen. "Damn it!" Sam exclaimed. 'Maybe he went to get them some food' he tried to reason with himself. He sat back down on the side of the bed, grabbing his cell phone from the nightstand. He scrolled through his list of contacts until he came to Dean's name.

Sam hit send and waited. One ring, two rings, three rings, four rings….voicemail. Shit, shit, shit! Dean had disappeared and now he wasn't answering his fucking cell phone. "Dean, come on, answer your damn phone!" Sam threw his phone across the room and dropped his head into his hands, completely dejected.

There was no way that Dean would just take off without saying something, right? He would never be able to do something like that, would he?

* * *

Dean didn't get very far. He had basically driven in circles. He was only five minutes away from the motel that he had left two hours earlier. It was getting dark and that meant that it would be easier to hide from Sam. He had to go somewhere that he knew Sam would never find him….hmm, Charlie's Bar and Grill. It seemed vanilla enough for Sam to never know he was here. He pulled the car into the back parking lot, so that the Impala would not be visible from the road. There was just no doubt about it, the Impala was a beautiful car and certainly stood out amongst all the rusty trucks and Jeeps. Jeeps…he hated Jeeps.

Ten minutes later Dean was settled on a bar stool at Charlie's Bar and Grill. He was staring down at his beer and half-eaten cheeseburger. He knew it was bad when he was too upset to eat. That was always the telltale sign that something was bothering him. Lucky for him that nobody else in the place knew what was going on with him.

"Penny for your thoughts." A tall, dark haired guy said to him, his voice low and husky.

Dean shrugged, "Nothing dude, I'm fine."

The guy smiled a lopsided grin at him, "You sure are."

Dean grimaced, was this how things were going to be now; getting hit on in a bar by a dude….who looked remarkably like Sam? "Look pal, I don't play for your team, okay?"

The guy just smiled back at him, oblivious to the kiss off speech, "Well, if you change your mind my number's written on your napkin." As quickly as he had appeared he was gone.

Dean sighed, looking at the napkin under his beer. He must really be off his game if he hadn't caught the dude whipping out a pen to leave Dean his name, number and address. 'What the fuck?' He looked around; content to realize that nobody seemed to have noticed that another guy had very recently been undressing him with his eyes.

"Can I get you a refill?" The gorgeous brunette bartender asked him.

He perked up immediately. "As a matter of fact…"

She smiled at him and looked at the napkin. "Chad huh?"

Dean looked at the napkin again, "Well, that's what it says here." He groaned, "He sneak attacked me."

She smiled, "That guy hits on a lot of people in this bar. He's a regular. Claims to have perfect gaydar, says he's never been wrong."

Dean grimaced, "Well, he broke his streak tonight." Dean rolled his eyes, shaking his head…gaydar…_his ass_!

She smiled at him, not completely convinced, but going along with it regardless. She gave him the refill that he had requested and proceeded to toss little flirts his way as she pretended to play hard to get. It didn't matter to her if Chad's gaydar had lit up like a Christmas tree, this guy was fucking hot. She wouldn't have cared if his sexual partner of choice was horses as long as she could have a chance to hit that.

* * *

Sam felt as though things were spinning completely out of control. It was funny to him now that he had spent so much of his life trying to get away from his family and now that he was on his own he hated it so much. 'Things were different now' he told himself. Never a truer statement had been thought. This situation went beyond family, beyond a brother/brother thing; this was a relationship problem that they were dealing with. Dean had run because he had cold feet about what was happening between them.

It wasn't unlike Dean to run away when things got too complicated; it was kind of his M.O. This was just how Dean operated. Sam had expected his brother to distance himself from him or completely ignore him, those things he was prepared for. What he had not been prepared for was for Dean to just completely bolt, giving Sam no idea where he had gone to.

The loneliness and despair was just too damn much for Sam to deal with. He hated the way he was feeling; like the whole world had opened up and swallowed him whole. What was he supposed to do now, just lay around the motel feeling sorry for himself? Or was he supposed to sit there and watch porn and jerk off? What the fuck?

Sam groaned and ran his hands through his hair. He refused to allow himself to wallow anymore. So Dean had left and it broke Sam's heart, but he refused to sit there and stew in it. He refused to stay in that room any longer. That room now reminded him of his brother and the hour of blissful rest he had with his brother's warm body pressed against his own.

He groaned and got to his feet. He grabbed his coat and headed out into the night to drown his sorrows in some beer and hope that he could find someone to fuck the shit out of, in order to get over these feelings that he wished to hell would just go the fuck away. Life would be a hell of a lot easier if he hadn't fallen for his own stupid brother, but unfortunately for Sam, he had.

* * *

Dean drained the contents of his third beer. Beer was like his best friend in the whole world; it got him through a world of predicaments. By this point he had almost forgotten about what was going on with in his crazy-ass life. He wasn't even close to drunk; he wasn't that big a light-weight. He wasn't Sam….ugh, he was supposed to be forgetting about him. The last thing in the world that Dean wanted to think about in that moment was his brother….anything but Sam, anything at all. It was clear that he needed more alcohol in his system and he needed it right away, "Hey, bartender, hit me again."

She raised her eyebrow, "I do have other customers you know." In truth she couldn't have cared less about the other customers. She knew better, however, than to allow this man to know just how interested she really was.

Dean smiled that lopsided grin at her that always won over the ladies, "I like to give away happy endings along with my tips."

She smiled back at him, "You probably shouldn't be advertising. People will think you're easy."

He shrugged, "Maybe I am."

She laughed, "I get off in 10 minutes." She looked him square in the eyes, "And then maybe again in a half hour."

He smiled, taking a long drag from the beer she set in front of him. Sure, maybe he shouldn't be on his fourth beer if he was planning on getting laid, but the fact was that drinking was the only thing that kept his mind from focusing on the thing that had pushed him into the bar in the first place. "I'm Dean by the way."

She smiled at him, "Lily." She reached out to shake his hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dean."

"Likewise." He said with his game face on. He was thrilled; he was thoroughly enjoying the company of a gorgeous **female** and not thinking about the crazy situation that he and Sam were in.

* * *

Sam passed up the Impulz Lounge; he was so not in the mood for cheap women looking for an easy lay. Instead he chose Charlie's Bar and Grill believing that to be pretty safe...it was a sport's bar for heaven's sake. He figured the place would be crawling with middle aged men seeking refuge from their wives. He wanted to blend in and get wasted at the same time. What Sam saw when he walked in shocked him to the core though; there was a bunch of young, good looking people and one of those good looking people was none other than his very own brother.

What the fuck? The asshole had left him and was now flirting it up with some hot bartender chick. He was fuming mad and wanted to go over to him and slug him, but he decided against it. In fact he didn't want Dean to know that he was there at all. He quickly snuck out of the way and out of eyeshot just in time to watch Dean take off with that bartender. He wrinkled up his nose, making a face, what a asshole thing to do!

Sam wanted to scream or hit something, but instead he moved toward the bar that Dean had just been sitting at and plopped his ass down on the same bar stool. It was still warm with his brother's body heat and for some stupid reason made him feel closer to the jackass. He looked down at the bar, inspecting the place and what he saw there shocked him; the phone number and address of some guy named Chad. Dean had never picked up guys before, what the hell was happening?

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry to those of you who thought there was going to be some sex coming up. I just decided to mix things up a little bit...just hang in there. There's still plenty more story left. Please read and review to let me know what you think. I hope you like it even without the smut! :)


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 – Gay or Straight?

Sam picked up the napkin that had been lying underneath Dean's empty beer glass, folded it up and stuffed it into his pocket. He didn't know why he did it, he just didn't want to look at it anymore but yet he didn't want to throw it away either.

Suddenly Sam heard a voice coming from beside him. "Hey handsome."

Sam smiled, "Hey."

"What's your name, hot stuff?"

"I'm Sam."

"Nice to meet you Sam, I'm Darla." She told him, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. She could think of so many wonderfully fun things she would like to do with this one. "You looking for a good time?"

Sam raised his eyebrow, "Are you a hooker?"

She smiled wider, "That's an offensive term, Sam."

He shook his head, "I'm not interested, thanks."

"What's the matter Sam, you a cheapskate?" She asked him, raking a hand down his arm.

He pushed her hand off him, making a face at her, "Nah, you're just not really my type."

With that she nodded, "Ah."

Sam didn't care what the chick thought of him, he just wanted her to go away. "Look, lady, I'm not exactly interested right now. I just had a fight with my boyfriend…" He knew he was laying it on real thick, but he didn't care.

She rolled her eyes, "It's so stupid that men would rather make you think they're gay then admit they're cheap." She flounced away and Sam sighed with relief, he was not in the mood for this crap.

* * *

Dean took Lily to a different room at the Green Roof Inn. He knew it was really super tacky to stay in the same motel with his brother, considering everything, but he didn't have time to find another place to stay. He was ready to get laid…by a chick.

"So this is where you're staying? I've heard this place has seriously huge rats." She wrinkled up her nose.

Dean shrugged, "Well, I have a shotgun so if any get near us I'll just shoot it!" He hoped the macho act would work on her. He looked at her, she had a goofy grin on her face…evidently it did work on her. "Why don't you make yourself comfortable?"

She took her coat off and set it down on the table. She inspected the bed and determined that it appeared to be alright before she sat down on it. She patted the spot beside her and he smiled as he joined her.

"Comfy bed." He said, truly amazed that this dump had nice beds.

She smiled. "You seem nervous."

He shook his head, "Who me? Definitely not." There was no way that he could ever let on that he hadn't been with a woman in a little while and that he was afraid he would get performance anxiety after what happened last time with that blonde chick.

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. His lips were soft against hers and his body quickly seemed to relax. He pulled her close and raked his fingers through her long, dark hair. He could do this; he had to pep himself up. He had been with lots of women and this would be no different. Just because this crazy thing with his brother had happened, that didn't mean that he was any different than he had always been. He was the same guy and he could do the same things that he used to do.

* * *

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked.

Sam barely looked up at the guy, "Just a beer I guess; whatever's on tap." He wasn't at all fussy over what kind of beer he was going to be drinking. Tonight was not the night for being finicky; it was the night for getting wasted and forgetting his troubles. "Better yet, why don't you just give me a few different things, surprise me? I'm looking to get wasted tonight."

The bartender raised his eyebrow, "You're not driving are you?"

Sam shook his head, "I'm local; I'll just get a cab or walk."

The bartender nodded, "Local huh? I've never seen you around before."

Sam shrugged, "I'm just passing through town, but I'm staying at the Green Roof Inn just down the road."

"Ah, I definitely know where that is. Tell me, is it true what they say about the rats?"

Sam raised his eyebrow, "I haven't seen any yet, so that's a good sign."

The bartender laughed, "I guess so."

Sam surprised himself and smiled in return. It was weird, but the bartender definitely had a way of helping him forget his troubles. His mind once again focused on the information that Chad had left for Dean, "So, I heard about his Chad guy who comes here."

The bartender nodded, as if he was answering a question in his own mind, "Yes, he's here a lot actually. He's right over there." The bartender pointed Sam in the direction of the man, just before setting a beer and a couple shots of something in front of him.

Sam gave the man one of his award winning smiles, "Would you mind watching these a minute? I'll be right back."

"Take your time." The bartender told him with a friendly smile.

Sam returned the smile and then slid off the bar stool, heading over to Chad. When he reached the man he tapped him on the shoulder. Chad turned around and smiled at him, giving him a once over. "Are you Chad?"

The man raised his eyebrow, "My reputation precedes me. Yes I am."

Sam smiled that smile again, trying to dazzle the man, "I've heard so much about you and I just had to meet you."

Chad nodded at him, "I am quite well known in this town. What's your name, handsome?"

"Sam. My name's Sam."

"Well, Sam, it's nice to meet you. I'm actually late for a date, so if you'll excuse me…" Sam could tell that the man was trying to get away, which confused him a lot. Clearly Sam had a very confused look on his face, because Chad felt the need to explain himself, "Look, I'm sorry if someone falsely sent you my way. You see I have this perfect gaydar and people look to me as an asset sometimes…"

Gaydar? This guy had perfect gaydar and yet he was trying to pick up Dean? Weird. "Gaydar?"

The man nodded, "Yes, of course. I can spot a closet queer from a mile away." He assessed Sam one more time and then folded his arms over his chest, "Looks like you've been punk'd or something cause I'm getting nothing off you."

That's weird. Sam had a thing for his own brother and yet this guy's gaydar wasn't detecting anything. "Are you sure? Maybe you're not as good at this as you thought?"

Chad raised his eyebrow, "I have never once been wrong, okay? Now, quit bothering me. Here's my piece of advice to you...stick with women, they're more your thing. Believe me." Chad turned and practically flounced away, muttering something about how people try to be gay nowadays because they think it's cool. Sam raised his eyebrow and ran his hand through his hair. He didn't know what the fuck to make of any of this. He walked back to the bar and plopped down, more confused than he had been before he went to talk to Chad.

* * *

Dean kissed the girl with more passion, trying desperately hard to make this work for him. He needed this. It had been a while since he'd seen any action and he certainly knew what to do with a woman, it was kind of like second nature…so what was the fucking problem?

She pulled back, "What's the matter, Dean?"

He shrugged, sighing, "I don't know. Something's been really off with me lately."

"Does any of it have anything to do with what happened with Chad earlier?" She asked him, gently touching his arm.

He looked down at his hands, "Maybe."

She smiled, "Dean, it's okay. Maybe he was wrong about you, you know? I'm sure that guy has been wrong once or twice. I mean, come on, the dude doesn't even know you."

Dean sighed, "Recently something happened that made that whole thing extra uncomfortable. I started to feel something for another guy."

Lily nodded her head, "Okay, so you felt something for some guy, so what? How many girls have you been with in your life?"

Dean thought for a second, "Way too many to keep track of." He grimaced, "That sounds horrible, doesn't it?"

She smiled, "Dean, you're a good guy, but you're a drifter. I'm imagining that you don't have lots of opportunities to keep any one girl for a long period of time."

"Yeah, pretty much new city, new chick." He hated having to admit these things about himself. This wasn't actually something he was proud of. "But, you know, picking up chicks has kinda been my thing. It's a huge part of my identity."

She smiled and ran her hand over his face, "Sweetheart, it doesn't matter how many girls you've been with, it doesn't change these feelings that you're having. You are trying anything you can to overcompensate for something that you think goes against your very own personality. It's okay though, it happens to the best of them. It's not like you want to be gay or even bisexual. Maybe you are and maybe you aren't, it doesn't really matter."

He frowned, "How can it not matter? Dean Winchester doesn't do dudes." He spat the words like they were poisonous.

"Maybe he doesn't, but maybe he wants to. Or maybe he wants to do one dude. I have no idea, I just met you. All I know is that something's really bothering you and you need to figure out what it all is so that you can fix it. Listen to your heart, Dean, it will tell you what to do. Now, if you truly want to be with me tonight then I'm here, but if not then that's okay too." She smiled at him warmly.

He reached out to pull her in for a kiss. It was sweet, it was gentle and it was sincere. He appreciated how nice she was being to him. He appreciated having someone to talk to who seemed to understand him and even what he was going through.

* * *

The bartender was back in front of Sam momentarily, "So, did you and Chad have a good talk?"

Sam frowned, "It was all very confusing." Sam drained the contents of both shots and moved them out in front of him, directing the guy to hit him again.

The bartender laughed, "It usually is with that guy. You know what he does, don't you? He reads gaydar or some stupid shit. Rumor has it that the guy has never been wrong."

"How in the world can anyone know that? Have they taken a poll from every person that he's used his gaydar crap on?" Sam was irritated with the stupid Chad guy…but, what was worse was that he was irritated with himself for being irritated.

"So, did he enlighten you about your sexual orientation?" The bartender asked.

Sam shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Well, I gotta say that you don't really look gay, but a lot of guys that Chad seeks out don't, so what do I know really?" He refilled Sam's shots.

Sam smiled, "Well, he said I'm not gay. I'm completely hetero."

The bartender raised his eyebrow and nodded, "And that's bothering you?"

Sam shrugged again, "I don't know. It just doesn't really coincide with some things that have been going on in my life is all. I was hoping he could clear up a few things."

"So you think you've got a thing for this guy that you know, right? You've known him forever, probably is your best friend or something and all the sudden these weird feelings come about. You don't know what to make of them but you can't shake them. Am I on the right track?"

Sam gulped, "You're boarding the same train."

The bartender smiled and shrugged, "Working this kind of job, I meet a lot of people. In my experience, things like that happen for a multitude of reasons. Maybe it's just been too long since you've been with a woman, maybe this guy reminds you of someone else or maybe there's something special about this guy. Either way none of it means that you're gay, just that you like him. You can like one guy and still be straight."

Sam sat there staring at the guy, his mouth hanging open. He quickly closed it, not wanting to show the man just how on the money he really was. Wow, it became very clear to Sam in that moment that bartenders tended to know a lot about people.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – Hanging With Bartenders

An hour later, Dean was sitting across from Lily in a booth at a little Italian restaurant ten miles out. It dawned on him that he never really took women out for anything; he usually just shacked up with them and then ditched. The realization of this made him feel like a horrible person. Why was he like this?

No matter what he wanted or didn't want from Lily he just couldn't bring himself to be a jackass to her. The girl had sat there and listened to him unload on her and had been supportive and gentle to his feelings. She was a very sweet girl and he really liked her. She was a really genuine person and she obviously liked him in return.

"How's the chicken parm?" She asked him, licking her lips as she stared at his plate.

He smiled, "You can try some if you'd like."

She laughed at how evident it had been that she wanted a taste and reached her fork over to take a piece of the cheese and sauce covered chicken. She put it in her mouth, chewed and smiled. After she swallowed she said, "That's delicious."

He laughed, "Would you like some more?"

She cocked her head to the side, "Geez, Dean, you don't seem the type to share food."

He smiled, "You _are_ good at reading people. I'm starting to feel a little bit violated here." He twirled a bit of his side of spaghetti on his fork and ate it, "But you're right, I don't share food."

She reached out with her fork and knife and cut herself off about a third of his chicken and plopped it down on her plate. "Well, in that case, I think I will help myself to some more."

He smiled as he took a sip of his coke. "Such a control freak."

She laughed, "Unlike you who never tries to control anything?"

"Touché." He reached his fork out in the direction of her meal, "You should give me some of that…whatever it is."

She laughed, "It's shrimp scampi, Dean, and I will give you some, but you need to move your arm."

He smiled as he moved away from her plate. He watched as she scooped some noodles and pieces of shrimp between her fork and twirling spoon and dropped it onto his plate, right on top of his chicken. "Hey, not on the chicken."

She shrugged, "All ends up in the same place." She looked up at his face and burst out laughing. Dean had an expression on his face that could only be compared to one of Sam's best bitch-faces and looked like he was literally biting his tongue to keep from speaking, "You've really gotta lighten up. You need to learn how to go with the flow more."

"Bite me." He told her.

"Be careful or I just might." She told him, sassier than ever.

"Chicks!"

* * *

It was getting late at the bar and they were getting close to closing. Matt, the friendly bartender, went back over to Sam, "Hey, any last thing I can get you before we close up?"

Sam shrugged and smiled, "Annyything you wanna get me! You know Matt, you're a realllllly nice guy; I like you."

Matt smiled, "On second thought, I think you've had enough." Matt shook his head, laughing as he watched Sam really concentrating in order to plaster his best bitch-face on.

"Come onnnnn mann, I haven't had that muchhh." Sam slurred and hissed.

Matt raised his eyebrow, "Oh really? We're going to close anyway. Are you sure you're going to be able to get back to that motel or yours?"

"What?" Sam exclaimed, "Slow down…"

"Just sit tight for a couple of minutes and I'll drive you back, okay?"

Sam smiled, "You're nice."

Matt nodded, "So are you." He smiled and shook his head; people like Sam probably shouldn't get drunk. That guy turned all buckets of crazy.

When Matt had his back turned to Sam, cleaning and helping other customers, Sam slid from his bar stool with a squeal and moved towards the door, his empty glass still in his hand. He ran into a table on his way out and he stopped and glared at it, "Watch where you're walkin'!"

Sam's eyes adjusted to what he was looking at and he realized there was nothing but a table in front of him. He looked at it, perplexed, and then shrugged. He made his way to the front door of the bar and stepped outside. He almost got in a fight with the heavy door on his way through, but much to Sam's approval, the door eventually surrendered.

Once he was outside he opened his arms and tilted his head back, enjoying the breeze on his face. He was so warm that this felt super awesome on him. He didn't even notice when the glass he was holding slipped from his grasp and shattered all over the sidewalk.

"Hey there, Princess." A man said from behind him.

Sam turned around and squinted in the direction the voice was coming from, "Hello Prince, what's up with you?" He looked down into the guy's face, "You're short."

"Shut up, faggot." A voice from the opposite direction said. Two guys.

"I'm not a bundle of sticks, are you?" Sam asked with a grin.

The first man hauled out and punched Sam right in the face. "We don't think you're cute, but evidently that Chad guy does."

"Chad who?" Sam asked, confused.

"You're boyfriend! We saw you hitting on him earlier. You see, we don't like queers, they offend us." The other man said, kicking Sam right in the groin.

Sam's hand immediately went out to cup himself, pain shooting through his body. "OOOOOhh" he moaned, "That fucking hurts." Sam was too out of it to protect himself, a fact that made the guys thoroughly happy.

"Would you like some more?" The first man asked, kicking him forcefully in the side.

Sam started to cry, "Stop it!"

The second guy laughed, "You're a little bitch!"

Suddenly Sam heard another voice. "Cut it out you two or I'm calling the cops! Don't think I won't. This isn't the first time you've been arrested, maybe this time they'll keep you longer!" Matt yelled, cell phone in hand.

The two men stood up straighter and tried their best to intimidate the bartender, when it didn't work they turned to walk away, making sure to step on Sam as they went by.

* * *

After Dean and Lily finished their meals, they got back into the Impala and she turned to look at him, "So, is this what you do; wine and dine your women?"

He smiled, "Not really. I usually just pick them up in bars and bang them, if I'm being honest."

She nodded, "I appreciate your honesty." She cocked her head to the side, "So, you think you're only off your game because of this thing with the guy you mentioned earlier?"

Dean cringed; he certainly didn't want to think about that again. "I don't know, but I do actually like you, Lily. I had a good time hanging out."

"Is that what we were doing, Dean? Were we hanging out?" She wanted to know what was what.

He nodded, "It felt like hanging out."

"I think most people call it dating." She told him, gently.

He ran his hand over his hair, "That's not really what I do. I'm not really the dating type."

She nodded, "But, I'm guessing you're not the type to just be friends with a girl either."

He shrugged, "Not typically."

"Then let's do that." She reached her hand out for him to shake hers, "Let's just be friends. I figure, why the hell not?"

He laughed, shaking her hand in return, "I guess you have a point there."

"I know I do." She told him with a smile, "But, will you promise me something?"

"Sure, anything." He told her.

"You gotta figure out what's going on in that heart of yours. Screw sexual orientation and what other people might think and give yourself a chance to figure out who you are. From everything you've told me about yourself, you've spent most of your life trying to live up to other people's expectations. Well, what I want to know is…what does Dean want for himself? Who are you really?"

Dean couldn't answer these questions, not yet anyway. He just sat there, staring at the steering wheel, trying not to think about the possible answers to these questions. He hated himself for having to go through all of this. Den Winchester had created an identity for himself that consisted of drinking beer, eating bad diner food, listening to classic rock and banging women. This was his whole persona…but was this who he really was on the inside? His head hurt thinking about it.

She reached out and gently touched his arm, "The things you find out about yourself may be earthshattering to you; you may not be the person you've always thought yourself to be. But, you know what…it's okay? We all grow and change as we get older; it's called growing up. And, you know what, if you figure out that this is who you really are and you want to start banging chicks again….you'll know where to find me."

He laughed, "Thanks for everything." He truly meant that. He didn't understand why, but for some reason he had met the perfect person in that bar; the person who could help him make sense of all the craziness that he was going through.

* * *

Matt ran to Sam and squatted beside his weak and abused body. "Sam! Are you alright?" Sam didn't respond, he just groaned. Matt was really worried about his new friend. "You've gotta let me get you off the ground, okay?" There seemed to be a lot of Sam to try and carry, but had to get him up and into his car.

Sam did work with him. He was able to get Sam up to an almost-standing position. Matt wrapped his arm around Sam's back and basically held him up as they moved towards the back parking lot, where Matt had parked his car. He got Sam into the passenger seat of his car and buckled him up, earning himself a wince and groan from Sam when his put some weight on his side. That must have been where the men had kicked him. Matt made a face; he was really worried that Sam could have broken bones or some serious internal bleeding or something. Matt did not know what kind of beatings Sam was accustomed to. He contemplated taking him to the Emergency Room and then decided that he would try to nurse him at his apartment and then if he needed to take him after that point he would.

Matt only had a five minute drive home. He pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex and then went around to the passenger side to get Sam out of the car. Getting him out of the car proved to be much more difficult than getting him in there had been. "Sam, can you help me here? You're a big guy and I need to be able to get you inside."

Sam groaned and mumbled some incoherent words. Clearly Sam was at the passing out stage. Matt frowned; apparently he was going to have to do most of the work. He pulled Sam's legs out of the car and laid them over the edge, just touching the cement. Once he had Sam's feet on the ground he wrapped his arms around Sam's middle and hoisted him up to a standing position. Sam's legs gave out from under him immediately and Matt had to catch him. Matt basically dragged Sam into the building and over to his apartment. He was very thankful that his apartment was not upstairs like some; that would have been a near impossible feat.

Once inside, Matt flipped on the lights and Sam started to groan. "Sorry man, I've just gotta check you over and I need to see to do that."

"M' fine." Sam said, clearly not fine.

Matt laid Sam down on the couch, sticking a couple of pillows behind his head for comfort. "Sam, you need to wake up, okay? I need to look at your pupils? Did they hit you in the head at all?"

Sam groaned, "Come on Dean; let me sleep a little longer."

Matt sighed, he wasn't going to get what he needed out of Sam at this rate. "Sam, it's not Dean, okay? It's Matt, remember being at the bar?"

"Dean." Sam muttered, almost incoherently.

Matt sighed and dug into Sam's shirt pocket for his phone. It was clear that Sam wanted Dean, maybe this was the guy that Sam had mentioned earlier in the bar. It really didn't matter who Dean was, the fact that Sam was calling for him in his drunken, beaten up stupor meant that Dean mattered a lot to him. He knew what had to be done, he had to call Dean.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – The Reunion

Dean was sitting in his motel room, staring at the wall, thinking, when his cell phone rang. He checked to see who it was and his heart did a little flip-flop. He had told himself earlier that day that he wouldn't take any of Sam's calls, but something had changed throughout the day, something that made him want to take the call. Maybe he could apologize to Sam and try to make amends for being a dick. "Sammy?" He asked into the phone.

"Um, no, I'm sorry. This isn't Sam, my name is Matt."

Dean was instantly on the defensive, "What the hell? Why are you calling me on Sam's phone? Where the hell is he?"

Matt let out a breath in order to continue, "I'm sorry, I know it's real late and everything, but something happened tonight and I just thought…"

"What happened? Is he okay?"

"I don't know, I mean I think so." Matt didn't like all the scrutiny in the other guy's voice. "He's at my apartment."

"Why the hell is he there?" Dean hated this, whatever it was that was going on.

"Look, I know you don't know who I am and that's gotta have you freaked. I'm a bartender at a local bar and Sam was my customer. He got real drunk and then tried to walk home. He got jumped by a couple of guys and he's hurt pretty bad. Because he's so drunk I can't figure out exactly what's what. Anyway, he was saying your name a lot and I just thought that maybe you'd…"

"Where do you live?" Dean didn't want to hear any more about what had happened; he just wanted to be there, with Sam. He jotted down the address and hung up quickly. Dean didn't have time to waste with niceties; he needed to get to his brother as quickly as possible.

* * *

Dean was at Matt's apartment within three minutes. He had obviously driven a little faster than he should have, but he didn't care. He knocked on Matt's door and was ushered in by a pretty good looking, average sized, brown haired guy.

"You must be Dean."

Dean nodded. "I am. Where is he?"

"He's on my couch. This way." Matt directed Dean into the living room area where Sam was sprawled out on the couch, his long legs hanging over one of the sides. "He's a little bit tall for this couch, but it's the only one I have."

Dean nodded, barely giving the other man any notice at all. He could address Matt and give him his thanks and praise afterwards. Right now, the most important thing that Dean needed to do was check on his brother and make sure that he was going to be alright.

Dean kneeled down beside the couch and reached out to check his brother's body for wounds. "Sam? Sammy, where does it hurt?" He closed his eyes with the pain that he was feeling on the inside. He couldn't help but feel responsible for what had happened. If he hadn't run off then Sam wouldn't have been at that bar, alone, and he certainly wouldn't have gotten himself beat up by a couple of thugs.

Sam's eyes fluttered, "Dean?"

"Yes, Sammy, I'm right here!" Whenever Sam was sick or hurt Dean would spring right into action. "I need to know if anything's broken or if you need stitches."

"Rip maybe."

"A rip? What kind of rip?" Dean asked.

"I think he means rib." Matt said, interjecting.

Dean looked over at the other man, somewhat glaring. He hated that someone might possibly know his own brother better than he; it just wasn't possible.

Matt put up his hands, "I'm a bartender, I'm pretty good at drunk speak." Matt shrugged, "Besides, when I got there they were kicking him on his side."

Dean bristled, "You've gotta tell me who they are so I can hunt those douchebags down!"

Sam made a move then; he flung his arm onto Dean, "Stay."

Emotional pain welled up inside of Dean and he had to focus on something completely neutral to keep from tearing up. "Okay Sammy, I won't go anywhere." Dean gently stroked his fingers over and through Sam's hair, watching as Sam visibly relaxed and fell back onto the couch.

"The alcohol is probably numbing a lot of the pain right now, but he's going to be hurting in the morning." Matt said, assessing the situation.

Dean stood up then and went over to the other man. "So, what happened? Why did these guys attack him?" He tried to keep his voice down so that he didn't upset Sam by talking about what had happened to him.

Matt looked down at his hands, "I think it was a hate crime kind of attack."

Dean shrugged, "I'm not following you."

"These guys have done this before. It's not their first rodeo, so to speak. They like to attack minorities." Matt tried to explain.

Dean folded his arms over his chest, "Since when does being tall make you a minority?"

Matt shook his head, "There's this guy named Chad, he's a regular at the bar I work at. And, anytime these guys see someone with him, they….feel compelled to attack I guess."

"Are we talking about _the_ Chad with the perfect gaydar?" Dean asked, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

"You've heard of him?"

"Yeah, fucker tried to pick me up when I was there earlier." Dean explained.

"You were at Charlie's Bar and Grill?" Matt asked, surprised.

"Yeah, but I didn't see you there. I did leave with your lovely co-worker, Lily, though."

Matt nodded, inspecting Dean a little bit, "She is lovely; a nice girl."

"Dude, I'm sorry if you and she have a thing going or something."

Matt shook his head, "She's my cousin."

Dean scratched his head, uncomfortably, "Oh, well, you could still have a thing going with her."

Matt shook his head, "Not with my cousin."

Dean felt really super uncomfortable, "Okay, so, these douche-nozzles attacked him because that Chad creep hit on him and told him that he was gay?"

Matt shook his head, "That's the thing though, Chad didn't hit on him. Sam sought him out and Chad rejected him; he told him that he was straight."

Dean bristled, wrinkling up his forehead in confusion. What the fuck? Chad's gaydar had lit right up about him, but Sam….Sam was straight? Dean would have bet a million dollars that Chad would have tried to woo the crap out of his brother. "I really didn't see that one coming."

Matt looked at Dean, "So, are you the guy that Sam was talking about earlier in the bar?"

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Depends on what he was saying, but probably."

"How he couldn't believe that he was completely straight because he has feelings for this guy that he's really close to."

Dean ran his hand over his face, so uncomfortable that it wasn't funny. He loved having girl talk with another guy….so much fun! "That'd be me."

Matt nodded, unsure of what to make of the whole situation. He looked Dean up and down, the guy was clearly attractive and could get any girl he wanted, but Chad's gaydar had gone off. It was very interesting to Matt.

Dean raised his eyebrow, wondering why the other guy was staring at him the way he was, "So, what about you? Chad's gaydar ever go off around you?"

Matt smiled, "Not that I know of, but I think I might be in Sam's boat." Matt had to admit that Dean could turn any average straight man into someone who lit up Chad's gaydar like a Christmas tree.

Dean looked at the other guy, who was staring at him, and blushed…he fucking blushed. "Sorry dude, this whole thing is rather new to me and everything, besides...Sam…"

Matt nodded, "I understand. Besides, I doubt my girlfriend would be that thrilled about the idea." He paused for a second and then shrugged, "Unless you do bisexual threesomes."

Dean started coughing and choking. He had to put the kibosh on this whole thing…immediately. "You know man, this has been fun and everything but…"

Matt smiled, "I'm making myself uncomfortable too. Let's just pretend like I never said anything."

Dean nodded, "Done!" With all of that being said, they both dropped all the previous subjects and decided to ignore the weird situation at hand and just try to be two completely, solidly straight men. That particularly worked for Dean, who had no fucking clue what the hell was going on with him.

* * *

Matt and Dean decided to take two hour shifts to watch Sam. Dean wanted to stay up and sit by his brother's side the entire time, but Matt had talked him into trying to get as much rest as he could so that he would be strong and capable of taking care of Sam. Eventually after some argument, Dean eventually conceded to the other man. When Dean did sleep, though, he plopped himself right on the floor by the couch, so he could be right there if Sam needed him.

They had both taken a shift and Matt was at the end of his second one when Sam began to stir. Sam began to groan, sounding very much like he was in pain and Matt quickly rushed to him. "Sam? Are you alright?"

It didn't take much for Dean to wake up. The sound of his baby brother in pain was enough to rip him from any sleep that he could find. "Sammy?"

Sam actually smiled a little bit, which made Dean very happy, "Dean, you're really here? It wasn't a dream?"

Dean brushed the hair out of Sam's face, "I'm right here. How are you feeling?"

Sam made a face, "Not so hot."

"Are you in pain?" Dean asked urgently.

"Yeah."

"Where?" Dean asked.

"Everywhere." Sam said, reaching his hand out to place it on Dean's chest. "I'm glad you're here, Dean."

"You should thank your new friend, Matt, for calling me." Dean said, tossing a thankful glance at Matt.

Matt shrugged, "You were asking for him so it made sense."

Sam nodded, "Matt….the bartender. I think you gave me a bit too much to drink."

Matt smiled, "Yeah, that's pretty clear. I figured a man of your stature could handle it, but I guess I was wrong."

Dean smiled, "Sammy's a lightweight." Dean focused his attention back on Sam's injuries, "Matt told me that a couple of guys attacked you. Where did they hit you? I need to make sure that nothing's broken."

Sam made a face, trying to bring the previous night's events back into his mind. When he finally did remember what happened he frowned very deeply, "I was too drunk to defend myself. I shouldn't have drunk that much; it was dumb." He shook his head, making him groan, "I got kicked pretty hard in the side. I can't really tell right now if anything's broken or not though.

"Can you sit up?" Dean asked,

"Not without the great possibility of puking my guts up."

Dean looked at Matt, "Do you have a bucket?"

Matt nodded and went to get something for Sam in case he did have to hurl. He brought back a trash can with a brand new bag in it. He handed it to Dean.

"Okay, Sammy, can you please try to sit up for me? Moving is the only way to determine how bad it really is."

"My stomach is really upset."

Dean handed his brother the wastebasket, "That's what this is for." He assisted Sam with the movement and Sam breathed in heavily, bracing himself for the pain that would ensue.

Sam shook his head, "I don't think anything's broken. It hurts pretty badly though." Sam sat there, breathing deeply for a few seconds, "I don't think I'm going to hurl, I think I'm good." Just as the words were out of his mouth he started heaving and Dean just barely got the wastebasket under him in the nick of time.

Dean shook his head, "That was close." He made a face, never had been a fan of vomit. "You done or do you need this again?"

Sam shook his head, which just made it throb even more than it already was, "No, I'm good."

Matt reached his hand out to the basket, "Here, let me take that. I'll put a clean bag in it in case he needs it again."

Dean nodded, "Probably a good idea. I can take care of that for you though."

Matt shook his head, "I'm a bartender; dealing with vomit is kind of in the job description." He shrugged, "Doesn't even faze me anymore."

Dean smiled, "Thanks anyway, though." He couldn't help it; there was something about Matt that made him feel oddly comfortable. He wondered how some local sports bar had managed to get two of the most down-to-earth, nicest people in the world as bartenders. On top of that they were both very good looking. 'Well, they are related, so that was probably why.' Matt was built, that was clear, and if Dean was ready to bark up that kind of tree he might have let his gaze linger a little bit longer. He turned his attention back to Sam. He slipped his arm around Sam's shoulders, "How does some coffee sound?"

He shook his head, "I don't feel like anything." Sam's eyes popped open, "But I do have to fucking pee like it's my damn job!"

Dean laughed, "Breaking the seal…finally. How much did you drink anyway?"

"Enough."

Dean wrapped his arm around his still half-drunk brother and helped him to the bathroom. "Can you stand on your own?"

Sam looked at Dean, "Hopefully, just don't go too far." Sam planted his feet in front of the toilet and fiddled with his zipper, "fucking zipper."

"Drunk Sammy's a potty mouth." Dean teased.

"I'm not drunk anymore, Dean."

"Like hell you're not. It's wearing off, definitely, but you're still buzzing." Dean knew enough about drinking to know what was what.

"I wish I just had a fucking bed pan or something." His legs were wobbling an awful lot. He felt weak and he really hated the feeling that he was going to fall. "Do you think you could possibly just kind of stand behind me and make sure that I don't fall over so I can do this?"

Dean moved into the bathroom momentarily. He went up behind his brother and held onto his arms, trying to support his weak frame.

Sam shrugged out of his brother's grip, "I need my hands, unless you're planning on holding it for me."

Dean retorted with a "Wise ass", which was much better than the comment that almost slipped by before he used his filter. There was no fucking way he was going to be caught making comments like that, especially with Sam in this condition. No, the sexual comments would have to wait until another day….if Dean was ever going to be capable of saying them at all.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Thank you so much for all the awesome reviews! I'm so glad that everyone seems to be enjoying the story so far. There are still a few chapters left. I had intended for this chapter to go a completely different way, but this is what happened once I started writing it. I hope you will like it...totally angsty and painful.

Anyway, try not to worry...there will be a payoff here soon. Please let me know what you think of the chapter. Also, for some reason I felt compelled to apologize for my profanity in this chapter. When reading this I found a lot of them this time and felt like apologizing in advance.

Please review! Love you all!

* * *

Chapter 16 – Opening Old Wounds

Dean helped Sam get back to the couch and sit down. "You still okay? Do you need the garbage can again?"

Sam shook his head, slightly, "No, I just wish I could sleep for about a week and wake up all better."

Dean frowned; he was really worried about Sam. The two of them had been through so much, physically and Sam usually could handle a lot. This was the guy who was tough enough to stitch himself up with only a little alcohol to numb the pain. Sam was usually a champ, but this time he just seemed so….defeated. Dean couldn't help but feel responsible for that. "Do you want me to get you back to the motel?"

Sam looked into his brother's eyes, a question there that Dean couldn't read. "I'd like that." Sam was sick of having to sleep on the couch that wasn't long enough for him and feel weirdly under scrutiny by Matt. He really liked the guy, and owed him his life, but he was ready to be back at the motel with Dean, without Matt's watchful eye.

Dean nodded, glad that they could be on their way. The sooner he got Sam up and moving, the better it would be for everyone. Dean turned his attention to Matt, who had stood up and walked over to the couch, "Thank you for everything, man."

Sam nodded, "That goes double for me. You saved my life."

Matt smiled at the brothers, "It's no problem. I'm glad that I got there in time to help."

Dean thought about how these were the kinds of people that made the job easy; good people, out there trying to help people in trouble and just get through life the best they can. This is why Dean valued humanity so much; every now and again people could surprise you.

"And thanks for calling me to let me know what was going on. I ran away from my duties and you stepped up and took care of my brother for me. That earns you huge points in my favor." Dean gave the man a smile and then wrapped his arm around Sam's waist, helping him to stand and move towards the door.

Matt's throat went completely dry. BROTHER? Had he heard Dean right, was Sam actually Dean's brother? He didn't know what to say or how to react. He just nodded at them and was shocked at the level of intimacy that seemed to be between them. Dean protectively guided Sam through the door and Sam weakly held on, his head nearly landing on Dean's shoulder…he would have accomplished this if Sam wasn't so much taller. The level of trust and affection reached Matt to the core; he knew that even if these two were brothers that there was something extra special between them, something that could never be defined by the confines of norms and labels. He stood there, dumbfounded, as Dean steered his brother's limp form out the door and out of the apartment complex.

* * *

Dean drove them back to the motel in silence. He just didn't know what to say, which didn't seem to be a big problem for Sam, who had fallen asleep almost immediately after being placed in his seat. Looking over at Sam's sleeping frame made Dean's heart clench a little bit. He couldn't believe how differently things could have been if Matt had not found his brother and scared away those men. Maybe they weren't typically killers; maybe they just left their victims barely alive, but in Sam's overly drunk condition he might never had made it. The thought of losing Sam, of having to feel that pain again, really solidified how important Sam was to him. He would NEVER walk out on Sam again; never!

"I'm so sorry, Sammy." Dean said, emotionally, not thinking that his brother could hear him.

"S' okay." Sam muttered; clearly awake enough to embarrass the hell out of Dean. Dean hated being caught showing his feelings, but Sam reveled in it. Sam loved knowing what was going on in that brooding, angsty head of his.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Am." Sam said, eyes still closed. Sam was lingering in that state just between awake and asleep. For all intents and purposes Sam's body was asleep, it had gone completely limp, but his mind was still running. The longer he went without the alcohol pumping through his brain the more coherent things became for him. He could remember more of the previous night's events….a fact that upset him. He did not want to remember the way those guys had looked at him with such hateful eyes and had beaten him physically and emotionally. Along with knowing more things and being able to think more clearly came the spike in his pain level.

They pulled up in front of the motel and Dean reached his hand over to touch Sam's arm. It was warm and strong. "Sammy," Dean said hating himself for having to say the words that betrayed his stoic shell, "I was wrong to have left like that, if something had happened to you…"

Sam shook his head, "Well, it didn't."

There was more that Dean wanted to say, but he hated those chick flick moments. He hated feeling emotional; he was completely uncomfortable showing his feelings. "Let's get you inside, huh?" Dean knew that Sam would probably want to get into some comfortable clothes and into a warm bed.

Sam nodded, "Yeah, sounds good."

Dean got out of his baby and walked around to the passenger side. He helped Sam out and moved him into the motel room. He stopped only once, to unlock the door to their own crappy little home of the week.

Dean set Sam down on the edge of the bed, turning around so that he could remove his jacket and boots. When he turned back around Sam had pushed himself back onto the bed and had almost gone to sleep again. "Hey, we need to get you out of those clothes and into something comfortable. We also need to clean up any wounds that you might have." The thought of helping Sam undress was one that was very uncomfortable to him, but it had to be done. Dean would just be forced to push all thoughts of a sexual nature from his mind and focus on taking care of Sam in that fraternal way that he had always taken care of him. He pulled on Sam's arms, "Come on, sit back up."

Sam groaned, he didn't want to sit up, he wanted to sleep. "Careful." His body still hurt a lot, especially in the rib area.

Dean frowned, seeing his brother in pain was probably the worst thing in the world for him. "Arms up, Sammy."

Sam groaned again, why couldn't Dean just leave him alone? He wanted to argue and protest, but instead he just did as he was told. He put his arms up, the movement hurting some. Once Sam's arms were up, Dean wrapped his hands around the fabric at the base of Sam's cotton t-shirt and pulled it up an over Sam's head. Dean drew in a breath; he had never noticed just how big his brother had gotten. Before Dean even realized he was doing it, his hand began to run gently up and down the length of Sam's chest and abdomen. So fucking perfect, how in the hell had this completely hulked out man-drunk or not-managed to let a couple of assholes get the jump on him?

When Dean realized what his hand was doing, along with the purring sound that was escaping Sam's throat, he quickly pulled his hand back. "Gotta check you over." Dean tried desperately to cover up his own actions, but his voice came out husky and laced with sexual tension. He inspected the front of his brother, then examined the back and then the sides. When he got to Sam's left side he winced. The whole area was bruised and there were marks that appeared to be from a large man's boot. "Sammy…." Dean's voice was so quiet that he was almost inaudible.

"I'm okay, Dean." Sam said.

All sorts of emotions were welling up inside Dean at that moment; hurt, fear, rage, and ultimately love. There was nothing he wouldn't have given to be able to take the pain away from his baby brother. Without hesitation he bent his head down and placed a few very gentle kisses to the tender area, the way he had done when Sam was a little boy and had skinned his knee learning how to ride a bicycle.

He didn't know what it was about this particular situation that had his guts so twisted up into a pretzel. Sam had been hurt a lot over the years, mostly by horrible monsters. Sam had been thrown against walls, stabbed, shot at (he silently cursed Bela….even though she was in hell) and beaten six ways from Sunday, but there was something about this that really got to him. Maybe it was all the weird feelings that he had to deal with or maybe it was the fact that this attack had been so personal, so private. The men had sought his brother out to hurt him because of what they thought he was; because they thought he was gay. Dean knew that Sam would never have even talked to this Chad guy if it hadn't been for the crazy messed up things going on between the two of them. This had been Dean's fault and he knew that deep down inside. All of it was _his_ fault; once again he had failed to keep Sam safe.

Dean hadn't realized that he had started to shed that famous man-tear of his until Sam had pulled him close and was wiping it away with his thumb. "Dean." Sam's voice was gentle and loving. "Dean, this is not your fault. I'm the one who drank way too freakin' much. I could have taken those two assholes with one hand tied behind my back if I hadn't been so wasted. I should have known better."

Dean shook his head. He just fucking loved how he had somehow been reduced to blubbering all the damn time now. It was chick flick moments out the wazoo lately. Dean shook his head and pulled away from Sam, "I need to continue, to…"

Before Dean could finish what he was saying, Sam had pulled him back down, wincing as he did it. "Dean, please. I want to talk about this."

Dean shook his head, "Can't." He just couldn't; he couldn't say what he was feeling because it was just too fucking much for him to deal with in that moment.

Sam placed a sloppy, yet sweet, kiss to Dean's lips. The kiss was chaste, but spoke volumes about what Sam wanted his brother to know. Sam needed Dean to understand that it was okay, that he would be alright. As long as Dean stayed with him and loved him then he would have everything that he needed.

"Can't do this right now, not like this."

Sam shook his head, "Too bad." He wrapped his hand around the back of Dean's neck and pulled his brother closer for another kiss; this one harder and much more passionate than the last.

Dean didn't want to hurt Sam but he wanted…no he_ needed_, to get away. The feelings were too much for him, the need too strong. Dean was always reduced to a whimpering child in Sam's arms and he couldn't afford to let that happen to him again, not in that moment.

"Please Sam, I can't…" He didn't know how to finish his sentence. He couldn't do what exactly?

Sam looked so sad that Dean felt tears welling up inside him again, "What are you going to do, take off again?"

Dean looked at the floor, the wall, his hands….anything but at Sam. He had to be strong and say what needed to be said, but not be a douche while doing it. "No, Sam, I'm not-"

Sam cut him off, anger laced with fear on his face, "That's what you do isn't it Dean? You run away when things get too hard for you, or you retreat into yourself?"

Dean raised an eyebrow. If Sam wasn't so hurt, he would have slugged him, "One time, Sam. I have only ever walked out on you one time. But you…you've always been looking for a way out. First it was Flagstaff and then it was Stanford, then the time you left to hitchhike to California, running into Meg in the first damn place. Let's not even mention all the times you took off with Ruby and I had no idea where you were or what you were doing. Come on Sam, I'm not the one who does the running around here…"

Dean's words pierced Sam's heart, because he knew deep down that Dean was right. He had done those things; he had done those things to Dean. He had hurt his brother in so many ways that he just couldn't understand. It was Sam's fault, Sam and John's really, that Dean was like this; terrified. Sam had ran for a multitude of different reasons; from their dad, from the hunting life or from feelings that he didn't want to have to feel for his own brother, but never because he didn't love Dean. He never wanted to hurt him, but that's just what he had done. It would have been easy for Sam to continue arguing about who was the bigger asshole and have a freaking pissing contest, but Sam realized that he would never win the argument. Dean had ALWAYS, with the exception of this one time, put Sam ahead of himself. "Dean," Sam said softly, "I don't want to fight with you, I don't. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Sammy." And Dean was sorry. He was sorry for running out on Sam, he was sorry that he hadn't been there to take care of him and ultimately he was sorry that he was so emotionally truncated that he couldn't open up his heart and let Sam have the few broken, mangled pieces that were left.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: So, this chapter isn't exactly how I had originally planned it to be either. There's all kinds of crazy stuff in this one...angst, romance, and smut (the best part hehe). I hope everyone enjoys this one. Don't worry though, there's more where this came from!

Let me know what you think! I love to read my reviews!

Chapter 17 – Seducing Dean Winchester

They sat there in silence, neither knowing what to say to the other. They both had butt-loads of things that they wanted to say, but neither knew where to begin. They seemed to be the two most cursed individuals; they had lost everyone else but yet they couldn't seem to make it work with each other.

With strength that Sam didn't know he had, he pushed his body up and over to where his brother sat, staring at the wall. Sam winced as he knelt before Dean, reaching up to take Dean's face between his hands. "Dean," Sam's voice was soft and full of emotion, "Look at me."

Dean didn't know how to look at Sam. Sitting there, with Sam in all this physical pain, yielding to the emotional pain that Dean was feeling, it was all too much for him. "Sam, don't."

"No, Dean, hear me out. I know I hurt you, so badly. I know that after everything I've probably done too much damage and you can't love me, but I love you."

Dean looked at him then, sharply. "You don't know if I love you? Are you insane? My God Sam, I don't even know what to say to you right now. Everything, _everything_ that I've ever done in my life has been about you and for you, hell my first memory was of you. I have loved you since the day you were born. The first time I looked into your eyes and you reached your tiny little hand out and grasped my finger so tightly that I thought it was going to break…I knew you were going to be big and strong one day. I was only four when mom died, but that moment that dad laid you in my arms and told me to run like hell, I felt like you were _mine_."

Tears were rolling down Sam's face, "I am yours, Dean. I never knew mom, dad…well, that was shot before it began. You basically raised me, Dean. You taught me how to ride a bike, how to play catch, and hell you even taught me how to drive. I remember when you taught me about the birds and the bees; I can only imagine how awkward that must have really been for you, but you did it…for me. Older siblings should never have to shoulder the burden of raising their younger siblings, it isn't fair. You should have had a chance to be a kid yourself. You should have had someone to look out for you. I was too busy trying to defy dad and get out of this life to really understand all the sacrifices you made for me, how you did everything you could to let me be a kid for as long as possible. I never understood, I was too immature, but I get it now. I've been on the road with you for over four years now and we've been equals this whole time. You don't have to follow dad's orders anymore or punish me like when we were kids; we can just be Dean and Sam now. Things don't have to be like they used to be anymore."

Dean reached out and ran his fingers through Sam's hair. "You'll never understand how sick and twisted I feel inside. I raised you; I helped you get your baths, I brushed your hair, I put meals on the table for you…and now I want to…" Dean closed his eyes, shame overcoming him.

"You're right, I don't understand what that's like, I don't. But, I do know what it's like to worship the ground you walked on. Most boys look up to their dads and want to be just like them, I never did. I wanted to be just like you; my big brother, my protector, my **hero**, but we're not kids anymore. Things are different now, of course it is going to be hard for you to accept, but we will work it out together."

Dean shook his head, "I just don't know if I can ever get over my feelings of…shame. I can't stop hearing dad's voice in my head; it's like a freaking broken record that I can't turn off. He put so much weight on my shoulders, Sam. I just don't know if I'll ever be able to let myself look at you the way you want me to."

Sam smiled then, "Dad was a bastard, but he's gone now. And for the record, I catch you looking at me all the time…giving me looks that I totally want."

Dean blushed, "Looking is a far stretch from touching, from doing. Taking this step means that we can't ever go back. What if it doesn't work out? What if you…"

Sam pulled Dean's face into his hands again, forcing his brother to make eye contact with him, as painful as it was for Dean. "Hey, hey, hey, you need to understand that all of that crap is in the past. I will never leave you again. Never."

"What about girls, Sam? That dude said that you were straight, completely hetero right? Well, in case you haven't noticed, I don't have the right parts, though sometimes it feels like I'm going to start growing them with all this crying and sharing and caring that we've been doing. But, regardless, I don't fit the bill; you don't really want me, Sam. This is going to turn out to be some big, giant mistake for you, something to help you get over the hunger for the demon blood, something to pass the time. What will happen when the luster wears off and I'm no longer exciting to you? I can't…"

Sam felt a numerous amount of emotions running through his body. First of all he felt horrible for his brother that he was in so much pain and secondly he kind of wanted to slug the guy for having such a low opinion of him. "How could you ever think that I would get sick of you? We spend every hour of every day together. We already live together, we sleep in the same place and do everything together. I'm done with the crazy notion of having a "normal" life; it's not what I really want."

"That's what you say now."

Sam shook his head, "Have you ever noticed how every time I'm away from you I completely fall apart? I fall prey to Azazel and his powers or Ruby and the demon blood, or I get completely sloshed and get my ass beat by a couple of thugs. I'm not better without you, Dean, in fact I'm horrible. Those months when you were in hell….worst of my life, and what did I do during that time? I freaking bought out the damn liquor store. Drinking was the only way for me to cope with not having you. Dean, I'm a complete panic-stricken mess when you're away from me. I need you and I always will."

"But, do you really want me? Could you ever really want me? I'm not exactly the most emotionally adept person in the world. I hide my feelings, I don't like to open up, I have annoying habits that drive you crazy and I have about the complete maturity of a child." Dean said, describing himself in terms that he felt were applicable.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Part of you is child-like, I will give you that, but it's not the part that you think. Look, I think I know you better than you think I do. You put on this hard shell to keep the world out, to protect yourself from getting hurt, but inside of you is a scared, four year old child who never had a chance to grow up. It's alright Dean, I know all of these things. I know the cocky arrogance is just a show, I know the dumb jokes are to cover for when you're scared, I know that the reason why you wear the leather jacket, listen to the classic rock and ride around in dad's car is because you put on dad's personality in an effort to gain his approval. You thought that if you basically became him that maybe he'd notice you; maybe he'd be able to love you."

"Lot of good that did me, huh?" Dean got up and went to their small, motel refrigerator, and pulled out a beer. Whenever things got rough, he turned to his trusty, safe friend; alcohol.

Sam waited for Dean to sit back down before he continued to say what he wanted to say. When Dean didn't sit down, and instead stood with his back against a cabinet, Sam got up and went to him. "Dad did love you; he loved you enough to die in your place. He loved you very much; he just had the crappiest ways of showing it. And you, even though you tried to become like him, you aren't him. You're better than him, always have been, always will be. I was always more like him…as much as I hate to admit that…I'm stubborn and always wanted to do everything my own way. You were always the one to step between us, to be the peacemaker; someone who would go so far as to take the blame for some of the stupid shit that I did."

Dean smiled then, feeling safer again with his beer, "You did have a habit of getting yourself into really dumb situations."

Sam nodded, "Yeah, I did. The dumbest one of all was the whole demon blood and Ruby fiasco. You probably should have done what dad asked you to and killed me, but you didn't...you couldn't, because you loved me too much."

Dean locked eyes with Sam then, "I have always loved you and I always will. More than anyone else in the whole world."

"It's the same for me, you know. Maybe this is wrong, maybe we're going against nature, I don't know, but it's always been you and me Dean….you and me against the world. We have only ever needed each other and I think that speaks volumes to how we feel about each other. I love you Dean, in every way that a person can love another person. You're my big brother, you're blood, you're my best friend and the love of my life." Sam pulled the beer bottle out of Dean's hand and set it down on the counter. He then stood and faced him, their bodies only centimeters apart.

Dean couldn't breathe; it was like the whole world had stopped except for him and Sam. Dean gulped, feeling a constriction in his heart and his jeans, and Dean did something that was a complete first for him; he wrapped his hand around the waist of Sam's jeans, looping his fingers into the belt loops and pulled Sam in for a kiss. The kiss started out sweet and quickly turned more passionate. Dean's breathing hitched and his heart began to race.

Sam didn't have his strength or he would have picked Dean up and laid him down on the bed. Instead he reached his hands up and grasped at Dean's short hair, trying to hold him against him forever. "Please don't pull away this time, Dean. Give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I won't leave again, that I will never break your heart again."

Dean nodded against Sam's mouth, capturing it again with his own. One of his hands went to Sam's naked chest and ran over the smooth, muscular expanse. "Dude, you are freaking huge!"

Sam smiled, turning his head to bite at Dean's earlobe and the sensitive spot under his ear, "I'm pretty much proportional all over."

Dean felt heat rise through his body, his face turned red and he felt like he couldn't breathe. "You know, usually when guys brag about that…" He would have continued on his train of thought if it weren't for Sam capturing his mouth again, his tongue begging for entrance.

When Sam did eventually pull away, he was wearing a smile, "You're doing that joking around because you're nervous thing again. Nothing to be nervous about, big brother."

Dean felt like he had a hell of a lot to be nervous about; he was exploring new territory with his own brother and he'd never been with a guy before….pretty nerve-wracking stuff. "I've never been with a dude before."

Sam smiled, thoroughly loving it when Dean showed his fears and vulnerability, "I haven't either, Dean; not like that."

Dean pulled back and arched an eyebrow, "What?"

Sam smiled, "It's no big deal. There was this kid back when I was like 13 or so, and wicked confused and well…"

Dean couldn't help it, he felt really, super jealous. Besides that, Sam was the one who had fooled around with another guy and yet Dean was the homo? "How far did you go?"

Sam almost laughed, "Is that jealousy I see written on your face?" Sam found it incredibly cute and totally endearing to think of Dean being jealous of some stupid kid that he barely even remembered. "We would jerk off together and one day we switched hands…"

Dean held up his hand, "Say no more, Sammy. I'd like to pretend I never heard about this."

Sam's mouth was by Dean's ear again, his hands traveling to the bulge in the front of Dean's pants, "I've never sucked anyone else's cock."

Holy fuck! Sam was such a kinky bastard and Dean didn't think he could handle it. His poor body felt like it might spontaneously combust.

"Do you want me to do that again?" Sam caught Dean's eyes and started to reach for the button on Dean's jeans.

Dean shook his head, "No, not until after you've healed. I still haven't checked you all over yet. No, it's important that we take care of-" Dean immediately stopped talking when he felt Sam undo his pants and slip his hand inside. "Shit!"

"Is this alright?" Sam asked.

Dean's looked at Sam, his eyes basically glazed over, "Fucking perfect, Sammy."

Sam smiled and pulled Dean's hard cock out of his pants, "Talk about perfect." Sam muttered, getting onto his knees.

Dean shook his head, "No, Sammy, not until you're better."

"I'm fine Dean, shh." Sam said. He pursed his lips and blew lightly on Dean's aching member, hearing the lusty moan from his brother's throat. "You like that don't you?" Sam asked, just before he reached his tongue out and began to lick up and down the base.

Dean's legs shook and he reached out to grip at the counter behind him. Sam smiled as he slowly slid the head into his mouth, his tongue circling the tip. "Oh my God!" He, ever so slightly, used his teeth to gently graze the head, feeling Dean's body shaking against him. One of Sam's hands was tracing at the muscles on Dean's torso and the other hand reached down to lightly massage his balls. Dean thought he was going to die; no girl had ever made him feel this weak-kneed and over the edge in his life…and Sam was just getting started. "Sammy…." Never a hotter moment had ever existed in Sam's life than the moment he heard his name in the whiny, breathy, lust coated haze of his brother's pleasure. Sam started to moan on Dean's dick, the vibrations sending shots of pleasure all throughout Dean's body.

Dean couldn't stand it, he was going to explode, spontaneously combust and shoot off like a rocket! "Sam….such a tease." He loved the pleasure that Sam was creating in him, but it was so torturous that he could hardly tolerate it.

"What do you want, Dean?" Sam asked, stopping quickly to lick at his brother's ball sac.

"Want it hard and fast. Mouth fuck me Sammy, please!" If Dean wasn't being driven over the edge he would have been totally ashamed of himself for turning into Sam's little slut.

There was no way that Sam could deny Dean what he wanted when he was panting and begging like that. He did what he was told and swallowed Dean's cock down, practically to the base and sucked him like the natural that he was.

Dean's whole body practically came apart. He held on tightly to Sam's hair and the counter, afraid his legs would give out underneath him. This was only the second blowjob that Sam had ever given so he knew he couldn't be brutal and claim Sam's mouth in the way that he wanted to, so he just held on and let Sam take him there on his own.

Sam's jaw was starting to get a little tired, if he was being honest, but he decided to pretend it was fine. He knew that Dean was close by the way he was shaking, moaning and begging Sam to get him off with his hot mouth. No way Dean Winchester talked like that unless he was delirious.

"Gonna cum….oh God! Shit Sammy…." Dean let loose with a string of obscenities, intermixed with cries of Sam's name and spouted off shots of cum that would have made Old Faithful jealous.

Dean looked down at himself, he was a mess. He had cum everywhere; some had even shot up and hit him in the chin. 'Fucking impressive' he thought to himself.

"How did I do, Dean?" Sam asked, still licking up the base of Dean's overly sensitive cock, tasting Dean's sweetness.

Dean looked down at Sam, who was fucking lapping up his cum and he almost came again. That had to be the single hottest sight he had ever seen in his life. "Do you really have to ask?"

Sam smiled and used Dean's arms to brace himself as he stood to his feet. He was still very sore, but this had been totally worth it. The sight of Dean's head back, back arching as he came undone was one that Sam would remember forever.

Dean felt bad; he wanted to do something for Sam. "What do you want, Sammy?" Dean asked, reaching for the button on his brother's jeans.

Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, "Nothing right now, tonight was about you. I need you to understand that I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Dean."

Dean's heart tightened and his eyes began to well up a little bit as he fought to hold back the flood of emotions he was feeling, "I love you too, Sammy."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: So, originally I had planned to have this story finished by now...but it's clearly not. Crazy ideas keep popping into my head. But, still not to worry...the biggest Wincesty moments are yet to come. I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!

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Chapter 18 – Dean's First Blow-job

After the epic blow job that Dean had received he could hardly think straight. All he wanted to do was bend his Sammy over and claim him as his own, but he couldn't do that…not now. He forced all sexual thoughts of Sam out of his mind for a moment, in an effort to clear it. "I haven't finished checking out your body."

Sam relaxed and smiled, "You can check out my body anytime you want to."

Dean fucking blushed…again; such a girl! "This is purely clinical." He told Sam as he laid him down on the bed and worked at the button on his jeans.

Sam looked up at Dean with such lust that Dean felt his stomach leap into his throat. Dean's hands shook as he worked at the zipper on Sam's pants, Sam's erection achingly hard under his hand. Sam winced in a half pleasure, half pain kind of way when Dean's had gently grazed against him. Dean immediately was on alert. "What's the matter? Did that hurt?"

"I don't want you to freak out, Dean." Sam told him.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? "Well, you're starting to scare me Sam, what's going on?"

"I remember getting kicked in…"

Dean's eyes widened in shock. "Oh my God, shit!"

"Shh," Sam said, "It's not as bad as it sounds, okay? I'm just a bit sore, but I'll be fine."

Horny Dean had to take a backseat to big brother, Dean. He quickly, but gently, pulled off Sam's jeans, noticing a few scratches, bumps and bruises that he would contend with later. Right now he needed to get Sam's boxers off and assess the damages.

"I can go check it out in the bathroom myself." Sam said, laying his hand over the waistband of his shorts, "I don't want to upset you."

Dean batted Sam's arm away, "Don't be ridiculous." When Sam was little and had been injured Dean would always check Sam out to make sure that he was alright. This is all that it would be; the big brother looking out for his little brother. Dean could make that distinction when he needed to, he could purely be Sam's brother when it was necessary. He reached out and pulled the thin cotton fabric down Sam's hips and muscular legs. Once they were off and onto the floor Dean drew in a sharp breath. Sam sure had been right….holy hell, he was huge! Little brother wasn't so fucking little anymore.

"See, it's not that bad." Sam said with a smile, trying to relax Dean.

Dean shook his head, like hell it wasn't bad. There was a rather large bruise just under the testicles and the whole area just looked sore. Dean felt like he was going to be sick. "You need to tell me the truth, how badly does this hurt?"

Sam shook his head, "I've been hit in the nuts before, it's not much worse than that. I mean, I'm sore, but the worst of the pain is underneath."

"You need ice." Dean said seriously.

Sam shook his head, "You're not going to ice down my…" Sam was feeling nervous and embarrassed all the sudden.

Dean cocked his head to the side, "I'm your big brother, Sam. I used to bathe and dress you, not to mention the couple times I helped change your diaper.

Sam blushed at that, "I don't care, this is different." Sam wasn't willing to admit what was really bothering him.

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Stop being a girl, Samantha, okay? I'm just doctoring you."

"Yeah, but it's just awkward now…"

"Okay, fine, I won't ice it for you. I'll let you take care of that. But, I will doctor you like this…" Dean bent his head down and placed a couple light kisses to the bruised and sensitive areas.

Sam's eyebrows rose and his heart rate quickened. He'd never had Dean's mouth so close before. "Dean." He whispered.

Dean pulled back to catch Sam's eye, "I can't do this right now, not with you like this." He ran his hands up and down Sam's thighs without even realizing he was doing it, while he continued to stare at Sam's hard, very impressive cock.

Sam's breathing was labored, "Dean, stop teasing me."

"Sorry." Dean said, feeling bad. "I just don't want to hurt you, Sammy."

Sam linked his fingers into Dean's hair and started to push his head down, "Move north from the bruise and we'll be good."

Dean loved that he was able to make his brother come undone and beg for this, but he also felt really badly that he was unable to do what he needed to do without having insanely steamy thoughts about Sam's naked cock. "I'm sorry Sammy, I guess I can't check you over in a purely clinical way anymore; especially with you all naked and….well, I can't stop staring."

Sam smiled, "It's not a problem Dean. I know you'd never let anything bad happen to me and if you ever needed to stitch me up or something you'd find the strength to do it. But, right now I don't mind that you can't stop staring…I like it."

Dean smiled and slid his hand over to his brother's aching cock and curled it around the base. He very slowly began to slide up to the head, where he ran his finger all around the tip. Dean was rewarded with a slutty little moan from his baby brother. Dean used his other hand to lightly slide a couple of fingers up and down the underside of the base, while his dominant hand continued to explore the tip.

"Holy fucking shit!" Sam gasped. He arched his back, feeling some pain but ignoring it. "Yes, Dean!" Dean smiled, loving hearing his name like that. Sam lightly jerked his hips forward and started fucking at Dean's hands, wanting more. "More, more!"

Dean raised his eyebrow, smiling. He tightened his grip on Sam's hard, thick cock and bent his head forward to slip the head into his mouth. He pulled back for a second, with a mischievous grin, "This doesn't hurt does it Sammy, because I can stop if it does?"

Sam glared up at him, "Don't you dare stop!" Then he smiled, "Jerk!"

Dean smiled, "Well, you are my little bitch!"

Sam raised his eyebrow, "More like you're _my_ little bitch, Dean!" Sam wrapped his fingers around Dean's head, "Now, come on Dean….suck me!"

Dean smiled as he bent his head forward to capture his brother's cock in his mouth once again. Sam sure tried to put up a good fight for dominance with him, but always ended up being reduced to whining. Yup, Dean knew that it was definitely Sam who was the bitch.

"Yeah Dean!" Sam exclaimed as Dean resumed his blow job, licking up the underside of Sam's cock. Sam tried so hard to resist the urge to thrust forcefully into Dean's mouth and make him give him what he wanted, but he really didn't want to hurt him.

Dean had never done this before, but he wanted it to feel good for Sam. "How do you want me to do this?"

Sam smiled, affectionately running his fingers through Dean's hair, "It's okay, just take your time. Take as much as you can, honestly just having your mouth on me…it's enough." Sam never would have thought in a million years that he could have convinced Dean into this relationship…that he could ever have Dean between his thighs, sucking his cock. Just the thought of it could pull Sam's orgasm from him, so there wasn't much that Dean could do wrong.

Dean slowly took more of Sam's cock into his mouth, until he felt it hit the back of his throat and began to choke. Then he pulled back a little bit and used his other hand at the base to help give Sam the desired friction.

Sam's back arched and he spat a string of profanity that made even Dean blush. Sam thought he was going to die. The way Dean was working him….it was like he was being deep throated.

Dean's cock stirred with every moan coming from Sam's throat. "God Sammy, you sound like a porn star." The only difference between Sam and a porn star was that Sam wasn't faking. Dean always hated it when girls faked those noises….just not as exciting. _Girls._ 'Probably not the thing to be thinking about right now, Dean,' he told himself. It wasn't hard for him to refocus on his brother, especially with Sam trembling beneath him and looking deeply into his eyes with those dewy hazel eyes of his. Dean sucked him deeply into his mouth, while rubbing his hardening package against Sam's leg, through his jeans. His own passion helped him to really get into his sucking, making things all the more pleasurable for Sam.

"You horny again, big brother?" Sam asked, pulling Dean up towards his face. He wanted Dean's fuckable lips wrapped around him still, but he wanted to tease him a little bit first. Sam couldn't believe that Dean was still wearing clothes. Big mistake on Sam's part. He wrapped his hands around the bottom of Dean's shirt and pulled it off him and onto the pile of Sam's clothes. Sam's hands were all over his brother's bare skin. "So gorgeous."

Dean couldn't help it, he whimpered….he fucking whimpered. "God Sammy, it's all so much….so much." Dean didn't know what he was saying, but he knew what he was feeling. This thing between them, it was almost too much for him to handle. He'd never felt this out of control for anyone in his life. Dean felt as though he was at Sam's mercy most of the time, having to surrender control, which was not an easy feat for him.

Sam flipped Dean over and got on top of him, his naked hardness pushing against the denim at the front of Dean's pants. He kissed him hard and wet then, feeling the surrender of Dean's body to him. "It's okay, Dean. I know what you're trying to say and I feel the same." Sam wanted Dean's pants off. He didn't know how far things were going to be able to go, with his injuries and everything, but he wanted to see that cock again. Sam struggled to hold himself up off Dean's body and try to get Dean's pants off. He gave Dean the 'I lost my shoe' look and Dean laughed.

"Getting frustrated, Sammy?" Dean asked, reached his hands down to help him out. He got his pants about halfway down and Sam pulled them the rest of the way off. Getting Dean out of his boxers seemed to be an easier task for Sam, maybe his horniness helped him work through the pain better. Once Dean's cock was out, standing at attention, Sam felt wetness leaking from the tip of his aching cock.

Sam's lips met Deans in a quest for dominance, a quest that once again Sam won. Dean surrendered his mouth to his brother, letting Sam control the movement of their tongues against each other's. Everything in Dean's body was on fire. He had never been the submissive one before and he would have never believed it would be that way with Sam either. Sam had always sat back and let Dean be in control, but this was different. Sam knew of Dean's fears and he didn't want to give Dean the opportunity to get scared and run or do some other stupid thing. Besides that, Sam had wanted this his whole fucking life; looking up to Dean, watching Dean become a man during Sam's pubescent years. The sexual tension had been so hard to deal with all those years; it was so nice to be able to finally see it to fruition.

While he kissed him, Sam ground his hips gently against Dean. He enjoyed the friction of his red hot cock against his brother's. Sam reached a hand down and wrapped it around both of their cocks at the same time, pressing them together and feeling Dean's body all but go numb against him.

Dean felt like he would explode, burst into tears or die (maybe even a combination of the three). Dean had never in his life been reduced to a trembling, panting, begging, totally on fire…hot mess. His whole being begged for Sam to put him out of his misery…but yet he didn't want the pleasure to stop.

Sam continued to rub their cocks together until he could feel his orgasm winning out. He gripped onto Dean's hip with his free hand, holding on tightly, while the rush of pure pleasure overcame his body. He titled his head back, seeing stars in front of his closed eyes.

When Dean was right at the brink he held on, fisting his hands into Sam's hair and running them down his chest. He wanted to take in everything; the sounds Sam was making, the smell of the arousal in the room, mixed with the scent of his Sammy, and the complete mind-numbing sensations flooding through his body.

Sam screamed….full on screamed….Dean's name and shot his hot, thick load of white, ropey cum all over Dean's abdomen. The sight of his brother spent, sated and completely vulnerable did it for Dean. He couldn't hold out anymore, he gripped his own aching cock and shot bursts of cum right on to Sam, just the way he had done to him moments before.

They both came and then collapsed against each other on the bed. Sam groaned right away and Dean was instantly on alert. "You okay, Sammy?"

"I'll live, but damn this shit's sticky." Sam smiled as he felt their joined cum mixing together and forcing their bodies together. He started to move to get something to clean them up with, but Dean stopped him.

"Let me get it Sammy." Dean said, "You've gotta be totally spent. Let me take care of my baby brother."

Sam didn't protest as Dean pulled himself away from Sam and ran quickly into the bathroom for a towel. He wiped his hands and chest before getting back onto the bed and cleaning Sam up. Sam was still partially hard when Dean wrapped the towel around his cock and began to rub. Sam groaned, "Too much, Dean!" He smiled as he pushed Dean's hand away so that he could clean himself up in peace. When Sam was done, he threw the towel over the bed and it landed on the floor.

They were both completely spent and in desperate need of some rest. Dean moved to the other bed and began to pull the sheet back, he jumped when he heard his brother's voice behind him, "Where do you think you're going?"

Dean turned back to look at Sam. "I just thought that maybe, because you're hurt and everything…"

Sam lowered his eyes at Dean and pulled the blankets back for Dean to get in, "Get over here, jerk!"

Dean smiled, "Bitch!" Dean said, sliding into the bed beside his sleepy brother.

Sam laughed as he pulled Dean close for a kiss. "I want to find you right here in the morning."

Dean nodded, "I'm done running Sammy, you're stuck with my ass."

Sam smiled, reaching around to take one of Dean's ass cheeks into the palm of his huge hand, "Good thing I love your ass."

Dean smirked, "It is kinda cute."

Sam laughed, "You're so modest."

"You love it!"

Sam was about to respond when Dean's cell phone went off. They both groaned. "Don't answer it." Sam said.

Dean shook his head, knowing that it was probably something important. He reached over onto the nightstand and grabbed it, "Hello?" Sam was smiling at his brother and sneaking little touches_, _but stopped when he saw the horrified and frantic look on his brother's face. "Oh God, what the hell happened?" Dean asked into the phone, shock and panic overcoming him.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: I sincerely apologize for this being so short, but this chapter basically served as a transition. I'm also sorry for the ending, though I do love the angst. Try not to worry too much though, as the lovable brothers have proven time and again...you just can't separate those Winchesters.

Again, I'm sorry this is so short and I apologize if there's a buttload of curse words in this one. It seems like when I'm writing these guys (Dean in particular) I don't even notice that I'm using them.

Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think! 3

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Chapter 19 – The Suspect

After everything that had happened in the last couple of days Dean just hadn't expected that phone call. He silently berated himself for allowing himself to get all sentimental and forget that the evil shit was still out there. As great as things were with Sam, he couldn't get caught up in the serenity of it all. Dean needed to keep his game face on, he couldn't allow himself to be caught with his pants down like this…pretty much literally.

Dean had jumped out of Sam's bed in a flash. He had started pacing, listening to the news coming from the person on the other end of the call. He ran his hand over his face, frantically, "Do they have a name yet?" He asked, trying to assess the situation. "Are there any other details?" Dean needed to know exactly what he was up against here, because this was no minor blimp on his radar.

Sam's brow was furrowed; he wanted to know what was upsetting his brother so badly. All he wanted to do was make Dean feel better. He moved from the bed, as quickly as his sore body would allow, and slipped into his boxers. For some reason he felt awkward being naked at a time like this.

"Okay, thanks man." Dean said, ending the phone call. He took a second to pace, trying to assess the situation. What should he do here? Should he stay and try to help? He knew it would just put himself right in the line of fire, but could he just take off?

Sam moved closer, "What's wrong? What happened, Dean?" Sam's words were gentle, concerned.

Dean finally turned to look at Sam then, the decision had been made. "We're leaving."

Sam looked at his brother curiously, "Where are we going?"

"I don't know, anywhere; hell Canada even sounds fucking great at a time like this. We just need to go somewhere far away from here, it really doesn't matter."

Sam moved to his brother then, reaching out to stroke his cheek, "What's the matter, what's got you so freaked?"

"It's Lily." Dean choked out, "She's missing."

Sam's brow was furrowed again, "Who's Lily?"

"She's Matt's cousin. She works at the bar too. I met her the other night." Dean pulled out of Sam's embrace, something just felt really _wrong_ here. Dean couldn't help but feel responsible for this, maybe if he hadn't been around her this wouldn't have happened. Bad shit seemed to follow him around like the damn plague and everyone he touched ended up cursed.

"Well, do they know what happened?" Sam asked, trying to be helpful. He didn't want to pry too much about the whole Lily thing; he just hated the look of pure desperation on his brother's face and wanted to do anything he could to take that away. He wanted to reach out and pull Dean close to him and let him know that things would be alright, but in their line of work, sometimes he just couldn't promise things like that.

Dean shook his head, "She's just gone. The only lead they have is the guy she was last seen eating with at a local restaurant." Dean felt numb; this shit just couldn't stop fucking following them, could it?

"Okay, well that's something then." Sam said, quickly slipping into the remainder of his clothing, ready to go out there and take care of this; he wanted to do whatever he could to make his brother stop freaking out.

"You wanna hear the fed's description of their only lead? Well, let's see…about 6 feet tall, sandy colored hair, green eyes, wearing a leather jacket. Oh, and they think he used a stolen credit card. Do I need to continue?" Dean looked like he was going to be sick.

Sam's eyebrows rose instinctively, instantly he knew what the hell had Dean so crazy. It was like St. Louis all over again, "It's you."

Dean nodded, "That's exactly why we have to get the hell out of this place."

"Is it a shape-shifter?" Sam wanted to know.

Dean shook his head, "You mean at the restaurant? No, that was me. Damn it, you just never know when you need to cover your ass, you know? I can't even fucking take a chick out for some food without being accused of something else I didn't do."

Sam tried his absolute best to keep the betrayal he was feeling from showing on his face. Dean had met this girl and taken her out to a restaurant, that didn't mean that he…it didn't mean that he had done anything else with her. Sam tried to reason with himself, logically hold himself together, but there just wasn't any fucking point in it. There was no way that Dean Winchester picked a girl up at a bar, took her out for food and then took her home; the fact was that he was positive that Dean had slept with her. He couldn't handle how sick he felt inside, how much pain welled up in his heart; it was like someone had ripped out his heart, stomped on it and then put it back in, using duct tape to hold it in place.

Sam started gathering things that were strewn about, trying to focus on anything but the pain he was feeling; he definitely did not want to start blatting right there in the middle of this whole thing. He knew what his brother was going through, he did. He knew what it was like to be wanted by the F.B.I.; it was just fucking spectacular. So, pulling himself together, he picked Dean's clothes off the floor and tossed them to him, unable to make eye contact with his brother's naked form. "Okay then." Sam started to stuff things into his duffel, the turned back to his brother once again, "So, do they know who you really are?"

Dean shook his head, "I don't think so. Matt said they showed up at his apartment with questions. They wanted to know if he had seen a guy matching my description and showed him a picture of the 'perp'."

Sam's eyes widened, "What did he say?"

"He saved my ass; told the cops that he had never seen anyone like that. If they catch me and try to pin this on me then he'll be an accessory, I can't have that shit on my ass." He took a second to breathe, gathering his thoughts again, "He said the picture wasn't that great, but he knew it was me from the description. Of course it doesn't hurt that I told him I knew her." Dean said, starting to come out of his stupor and put his clothes back on.

Sam stopped working for a second. He looked over at Dean, his mind riddled with questions that he was dying to ask. Dean was being so vague about his relationship with this girl that it left an unsettling feeling in the pit of Sam's stomach. "Well, obviously it wasn't you that hurt her, I know that and obviously Matt knows that too."

Dean nodded, "Thank God too, cause that guy could have fucked me over. It's a damn good thing that I didn't tell him to fuck off when he came on to me."

Sam stopped dead in his tracks again, "Wait, Matt hit on you?"

Dean frowned, he hadn't really meant to bring that up, "It was nothing."

"Like hell it was. Dean, how come I have to hear about all of this shit now?" Sam ran his fingers through his hair, completely uncomfortable. He didn't know what the hell was going on, but he didn't like the idea of all these people being all over Dean.

"Look, it was like a passing comment, it wasn't like he whipped his cock out and told me to get on my knees, okay? Right now we have bigger problems than some guy who might have indicated that he might like to bang me."

Sam nodded. Dean was right, they did need to get the hell out of there before someone recognized him from the bar or put two and two together. Smaller communities like these….everyone seemed to know everyone else. Sam was anything but happy at that moment. There were so many things he wanted to say to his brother; he was angry and frustrated, but the need to keep his brother safe overcame his anger. "Yeah, we need to put this place in the rearview mirror." He slipped his duffel over his shoulder, having just finished cramming everything into it, "I'll be in the car." Sam's poor body was so exhausted and ready to give out but he didn't give a shit. He went to the door and threw it open forcefully, letting it slam behind him.

Dean shook his head; he really hated all of this. He hated that the girl who had been so nice to him was hurt, possibly dead and that he was their only suspect, but he also hated that his brother was hurt so much by the revelation of all these things. Sure, maybe Dean should have mentioned it to Sam, but with everything that had happened to Sam and the way that things had been going so fucking right for a change, he just didn't have the heart to bring it all up. He finished packing up his things and headed for the door. He wasn't exactly excited about spending hours in the car with Sam being as angry as he seemed to be.

Dean went outside, tossed his duffel in the back and slipped into the driver's seat. He looked over at Sam and noticed that Sam was staring at the passenger side door, trying to avoid his brother's gaze. Dean sighed, after everything that had happened he had hoped that things could continue to be good between them; clearly that wasn't going to happen.

"Sam…" Dean started to say, but was cut off by a very bitchy response.

"Just shut the hell up, okay?"

Dean raised his eyebrow, 'great, so we're going to get back to our usual bickering' he thought to himself. Some things just never fucking changed.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 – On the Road Again

Dean drove for three hours straight. Neither brother spoke to the other the entire time. The silence was deafening. On top of all of that Dean was afraid to turn on the damn radio, for fear that he'd hear about the missing girl he was suspected of kidnapping, raping or killing….or some damn combination of the three. He also didn't have the ambition to fish his collection of classic rock tapes out of the backseat, so they drove in complete silence the entire time.

Sam sat there, brooding and pensive, staring out the window. He wanted to say something, anything, to break the silence, but the right words continued to elude him.

This whole thing was ridiculous to Dean. He knew that Sam was probably jealous and curious, which was completely legitimate, but with everything that was going on he just couldn't handle any extra stress. Before things with Sam had happened Dean would likely have just ignored the way his brother sat there, shoulder's slumped, staring at his hands or at the passing trees, feeling sorry for himself. Considering every, though, Dean couldn't bring himself to let this go on any longer. Sure, the two of them could fight like cats and dogs when they wanted to, but he really wanted to avoid that as much as possible.

So, when Dean felt like he had driven long enough that they might be far enough away from being caught, he pulled over onto the shoulder of the road and turned to look at his brother. "Okay, let me have it."

"Excuse me?" Sam asked.

"I'm sure you have all kinds of things you want to say to me right now, so let's get it over with. I've kind of got a lot of shit on my mind right now, so the sooner this is out in the open the better." Dean said, folding his arms in front of him.

Sam glared at his brother, "Everything's always about you isn't it?"

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Are you seriously going to give me that shit? Do you realize that a nice, beautiful girl is out there somewhere either dead or being held captive and it's probably my fault? Do you really think I have the ambition to deal with you giving me the bitch-face?" Dean knew he was being an asshole, but he couldn't help himself; once he started talking it all just wouldn't stop flowing.

Sam took a deep breath before he said something he would later regret, "Look, I can only imagine all the crazy thoughts swirling through your head right now. I know you're stressed and freaked out, which is the main reason why I tried not to bring up what I was thinking. I think we can both agree that you have enough on your plate without dealing with me…" Sam felt so dejected at his own words.

Dean reached over and ran his hand over Sam's hair. "I will always have the time and energy for you, Sam. I'm sorry. I'm just freaking out here and I'm lashing out at you. I'm sure you have questions that you want answered and you deserve those answers, you do."

Sam shook his head, "Look, it's been a very long couple of days. We're both exhausted; maybe we should table this until we're both thinking more clearly."

Dean nodded, "That's probably the smart thing to do, but since when have we ever been smart?" Dean actually cracked a smile, "Besides, I can't stand the thought of us being at each other's throats anymore, I hate it."

"Unfortunately, we have to think realistically that it's probably going to happen from time to time. We both think very differently, as we have discovered over the years, and we disagree on a lot of things…" Sam pointed out, matter-of-factly.

"But how we feel about each other is not one of those things. Come on Sam, I've spent my entire life running from things that were too intense for me to deal with. If we go around fighting and not dealing with shit as it happens then that stuff will build up and eventually I will try to push you away again. Come on, I'm trying to grow up a little bit here. I'm sick of being a four-year-old." This was about as honest as Dean knew how to be. Sam had really taught him a lot about letting things out, over the years.

Sam looked his brother square in the eyes and asked, "What happened with that girl, Dean?"

Dean took a deep breath before he answered Sam's question. "Well, I woke up that morning and freaked out….as you know. I didn't know what else to do so I ran. But, you want to know how far I got, Sam? About 5 minutes away. I just kept fucking driving in circles. No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to leave you, Sammy. I mean I guess I technically had left you, but I couldn't really LEAVE, you know?"

Sam slid closer to Dean, reaching out to stroke his brother's stubbly cheek. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are when you're being vulnerable?"

Dean almost gave his brother his own version of the bitch-face…hell he'd sure seen it enough times to be able to mimic it. "Come on Sam, I'm really trying here."

Sam smiled, knowing that eventually he would break Dean of his insecurities. "You don't have to try with me Dean. I'm listening, you can keep going, I'll shut up."

Dean looked away from Sam's face, "I went to that stupid bar to try to forget about what I was feeling for you. I had a couple beers and then that Chad asshole came up and….tried to work his mojo on me. I must have been really off my game because before I even noticed he was there he had left me his name, address and life story on my napkin. Stupid asshole said I was…." There was no way in hell Dean could say the word, even after everything.

Sam smiled, "It really doesn't matter what that assclown said, you know? He said I was completely straight, which obviously isn't true. Or maybe it is, maybe I'm just gay for you, Dean. It really makes no difference, it doesn't change who I am, doesn't change who you are." He smiled, "You're still the same pompous jerk you've always been." He giggled a little at the expression on Dean's face, "I'm just kidding."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Watch it, bitch! Anyway, so I started chatting it up with the bartender. I'm telling you, Sammy, she was gorgeous; long wavy brown hair, amazing figure and these deep blue eyes that I swear could see right through me."

Sam was not enjoying Dean's description of this girl, not one little bit.

Dean continued to go on, not noticing the look of distaste on his brother's face, "Well, her shift ended and I just had to get out of there, so we left together. I brought her back to the motel…not our room, a different one…and there we were…"

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat. Maybe he didn't want to hear about this after all. Maybe he should have just left well enough alone. "Dean, maybe..."

Dean finally noticed the tears glittering Sam's eyes and his heart shattered. "No, Sammy, just listen. I was making out with her and really trying to get the job done, but I just couldn't. All I could think about the entire time was you."

"Dean." Sam whispered.

"Shhh," Dean soothed, "I felt bad for leading her on, but she understood. She said she was hungry so I offered to take her to the restaurant. All we did the entire time is talk…about you mostly." Dean pulled Sam in for a hug. "I'm sorry that I made you think that I…"

Sam shook his head against Dean's shoulder, "We weren't really together, or whatever, at that point. I couldn't have really been upset with you if you had slept with her."

"Yes you could have. I should never have left that morning, I just...I don't know, I just couldn't stand myself, you know. I couldn't stand the thought of what people would think, what I was doing to you. I felt like I should be the one in control, Sammy."

Sam nodded, "You've always been like that, Dean. You've always felt the need to be in control of everything, probably because you've never really been able to control anything around you. Neither of us really has really; this life…well, it bites. It bites the big one, Dean. We lose people we love every day and it just gets harder." Sam traced Dean's full, pouty lips, "It's going to be even harder the next time one of us dies."

"I didn't think I was going to live through it last time, I'm definitely not looking forward to that." Fear overcame Dean and he was overwhelmed with the need to hold Sam close to him and never let him go.

"That was a horrible thing for me to bring up right now. I'm sorry." Sam tried to shake the thoughts from his mind. He refused to think of such horrible things, things that weren't even happening at the current time.

Dean looked into those dewy, sensitive eyes and pulled his brother's face to his own, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Dean's hands went to Sam's hair, twisting it in his fingers, and holding on for dear life. Dean's tongue begged for entrance, Sam was very happy to oblige. This time neither of them battled for dominance, they merely worked together, a complete 50/50 exchange. The kiss was almost poetic and more than either of them could have ever expected. Their kisses were always incredible, but this one said so much more than words could ever say.

Sam pulled Dean into his lap, Dean's legs straddling his hips. Dean pulled back from this move, "No, Sammy, I don't want to hurt you."

Sam nipped at Dean's bottom lip, earning a smile and a slight moan from his older brother's throat, "I don't even feel the pain right now."

Dean smiled then, "How come I'm always the one in the girl positions?"

"Cause you're the girl." Sam told him.

Dean pouted and Sam burst out laughing; it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

"Don't mock me." Dean said, kissing Sam again. The kiss deepened with their own undying passion for each other. Dean instinctively began moving his hips against Sam's hardening member. The sensations of the friction that his created was heavenly and oh so sinful at the same time. Dean clung to Sam, as if he might disappear, bathing him in kisses.

Sam's breathy moans against Dean's ears were his undoing. "I so badly wanna be inside you, Dean."

Dean groaned. He had never thought of himself as the bottom, but at this point he couldn't find it in his heart to give a rat's ass. "You've gotta be sore."

Sam shook his head, willing his body to cooperate with him. "No Dean, I don't care. I just fucking want you, want all of you."

Dean trembled, holding Sam close to him. If he thought kissing, hand jobs and blowjobs were new territory to him then this was INSANELY new territory. Of course he wanted to take this step with Sam, but he always just kind of thought he would be on the giving end of this. On top of all of that, they were sitting in the Impala, off on the side of the road. What if someone stopped to see if they were alright? What the cops came by?

Sam read the turning wheels inside of Dean's head. He knew his brother would have his concerns about this, but he just wanted it so badly that he couldn't express it. "I know you're nervous, Dean, but this is me. You know I wouldn't hurt you, don't you? Besides, I know what I'm doing."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Oh yeah? You've done this a lot?"

Sam smiled, "I happen to love anal, Dean. I've tried this with quite a few of the girls I've been with."

Somehow that didn't make Dean feel better. He wanted to be special, be the only one. "Great, you're an anal whore and I've never done it. I'm supposed to have a reputation…"

Sam smiled, "Dean, the dumb jokes aren't hiding your fears from me. It's going to be fine, do you trust me?"

"Of course Sam, I just…I don't know. I just don't know how to explain it." Dean looked deeply into those warm, hazel eyes that he felt as though he could get lost into, and sighed, surrendering. "Okay Sam, if that's what you really want…"

Sam smiled, pulling Dean even tighter against his completely engorged cock. The idea of sliding into his brother's tight, virgin hole was about to make him cum in his jeans. "I'll make you feel so good, Dean, you'll see." Sam placed achingly sweet kisses all over Dean's face, ears and neck, taking his time to try and relax his nervous brother.

Dean pushed his cock even harder into Sam's center, trying to show his brother just how strong his desire was for him. Unfortunately Dean felt his brother tense up and a wince roll through his body. "Sammy, are you alright?" Dean tried to move, tried to get off him, but Sam's hands were firm on Dean's ass, keeping him where he wanted him.

"Just don't move for a second, Dean." Sam told his brother. Maybe if his sore body could just get used to it, maybe it would stop hurting. "I'm just sore, it will pass."

Dean shook his head, "No way in hell this is happening right now. I know you're going to be in charge and everything, but I just can't…not like this. Let's just get to wherever we're going and get some rest before trying to do anything crazy."

Sam nodded, conceded to his brother. He had to admit that sometimes Dean actually did know what he was talking about, as much as he tried to pretend as though that wasn't the case. "Where are we going to go?"

Dean made a face, "I'm thinking the safest place is to go back to Bobby's. He's got a pretty good handle on how to deal with this kind of shit and if nothing else we can hide out in the panic room for twenty or thirty years."

Sam raised his eyebrow, finally releasing Dean so that he could move off him, "What the hell are we going to do about Bobby? What are we going to tell him?"

Dean frowned, "I have no idea. I guess we will just have to deal with it when the time is right." Dean was definitely not looking forward to having to tell their only remaining father-figure about their love affair. Bobby was an understanding, caring man and everything, but he doubted very much that his understanding would go this far. Bobby was not going to let this at all.

Sam nodded. He knew this was the best place in the world for them, not that they wanted to bring Bobby down in the muck with them; they certainly didn't want Bobby to be in danger of being an accessory as well. Sam also hated the idea of having to hide his feelings for Dean…they'd spent so much time trying to hide it, he never wanted to do that again. But, as he looked over at his big brother, he saw determination on his face. This is where Dean wanted to go; where Dean felt safe and who the hell was Sam to deny him that? "Okay, well, I better call him and let him know we're coming."

Dean nodded, "Might as well prep him on the situation while you're at it."

Sam started at Dean, eyes wide and mouth gaping. "Come again?"

Dean smiled at that, "Later Sammy, later." He giggled a little, settling his own nerves, "No, I mean about Lily and the whole me being wanted thing, you know…that situation. No, I don't want you to mention that I love it when my cock is in your mouth…that's a tidbit I'd like to stay between us."

Sam smiled to himself, feeling the constriction in his pants once again…God was this how it was going to be all the time now? Was Sam destined to have a boner every time his brother even looked at him? Sam groaned, there was just no way they were going to be able to keep this from Bobby…not the way they both reacted to each other. 'No,' Sam thought, 'this will never work.'

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A/N: Sorry I teased you guys a little bit with the anal thing and then pulled back. Don't worry...it'll happen at some point here. Anyway, been lovin' the reviews...keep 'em coming! I hope you like this chapter and can understand why I didn't drag out the fighting any longer.

Also, I think things are going to get really interesting with Bobby thrown into the mix of this. I have some hot, steamy and hilarious things whizzing through my head right now...

Thanks again!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 – Refuge at Bobby's

They pulled into Bobby's salvage yard at 4am, both beyond the point of exhaustion. Dean had refused to let Sam drive even for five minutes, telling him how he needed to get his sleep in order to heal from his injuries. Because of this Dean drove the entire way himself, now his eyes felt like they had been glued open and were so blurry that he could hardly see. "Oh my God, I didn't think we'd ever get here." Dean said, groaning and rubbing at the tired muscles of his neck.

Sam smiled at his brother, "When we get inside I'll give you a rub down."

Dean smiled, loving the idea, but then thought about the whole being at Bobby's thing. "Yeah, I'm sure Bobby would love that. Maybe he'd want to videotape it and post it online."

Sam smirked, "Bobby would probably move out of his own house before he would willingly let us touch each other."

Dean nodded, "Yeah, we're gonna have to do our best to keep this under his radar." Dean smiled at his sleepy little brother, "I know that's going to be hard for you; it's very hard to not think about me, I know."

Sam rolled his eyes, "If you weren't being so cocky I would agree with you."

Dean laughed, "You said cocky."

"What are you, twelve?" Sam lightly hit Dean on the arm, "Come on, let's get in there and get some sleep."

Dean slid out of the car, feeling like his whole body was about to sag right underneath him and he would land in a heap on the ground beside his baby.

"You okay?" Sam asked, his body aching from the injuries and being cramped in the car.

Dean gave his brother a fake smile, "I'm fantastic."

Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway; their newfound relationship gave him a lot more patience for Dean's jokes and sarcasm.

The brothers grabbed their duffels from the car and headed up to Bobby's door. Bobby came to the door, in his bathrobe, rubbing his eyes. "How fast did you drive anyway?" He asked; they had shown up earlier than anticipated.

Dean shrugged, "I wanted to get here, Bobby." Dean walked into the house and dropped his bag down on the couch.

Bobby folded his arms over his chest, "So the girl you went out with ended up missing and you're the suspect, huh?"

Dean nodded, gravely, "Yeah, unfortunately."

"Have you heard any news from this Matt guy?" Bobby asked.

Sam shook his head, "No, but we should probably give him a call soon. Maybe there have been some changes in the case."

"We will call him in a few hours. He might prefer it if I waited until the sun was up." Dean said.

"I don't get luxuries like that." Bobby grumbled, walking into the kitchen. "You boys hungry?"

Food! One of Dean's favorite things, "Absolutely!"

"And extremely tired." Sam said, "I think I'll pass on the food for now and just try to get some rest."

"You should probably get some food in your system, Sammy. Why not just get something quick and then go to bed?" For some reason Dean was uncomfortable being left alone with Bobby and all the questions that could ensue.

Sam nodded, noticing how much Dean wanted him to do this. "Okay."

Dean pointed to the couch, "Why don't you just have a seat and I'll bring you something?"

Sam nodded, "Okay Dean."

Bobby cocked his head at Dean, "Since when do you wait on your brother?"

Dean smiled, "Just trying to be nice, Bobby, that's all."

"My ass." Bobby said, but dropped it. Bobby and Dean moved into the kitchen. "I made some sandwiches ahead of time, they're in the fridge. Help yourself to beers, coffee's in the pot. I'm gonna head back to bed, but once everyone's rested up we have a lot of stuff to talk about."

Dean nodded, "Okay, definitely. And, thanks."

Bobby grunted a response as he left the room. He walked through the living room and got a look at Sam, who was getting up off the couch to head towards the bathroom. "Sam, is everything alright, boy?"

Sam smiled, "Why wouldn't it be, Bobby?"

Bobby frowned, "You look like you're favoring your side."

Sam sighed, "I'm just a little bit injured, but I'll be alright."

"What happened?"

Dean walked into the room carrying food and drinks in his arms, "Sammy had a run in with a couple of….big dogs."

Bobby raised his eyebrow, "Like hellhounds?" Bobby definitely did not like the sound of this.

Sam smiled, "Dean's joking, it was a couple of bad guys, that's all. It's no big deal."

"Okay, just be careful. Oh, and get some rest, you look awful….both of you."

They both nodded and smiled at him.

"Night Bobby." Dean said, handing his brother a beer.

Bobby disappeared upstairs and Sam and Dean looked at each other. "That was kind of close." Sam said.

"You know he's gonna want to know how a couple of thugs got the jump on you. He's going to be thinking more clearly when he wakes up. We have to be very careful about what we tell him." Dean said.

Sam raised his eyebrow, "No shit, Sherlock. I'm not a moron."

"Maybe not, but you are the worst liar I've ever met." Dean said.

"Thanks a super, freaking lot, Dean. Love you too." Sam said, opening his beer and draining almost half the thing in one gulp.

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Slow down there, killer." Dean took a swig of his own beer and then turned his attention back to Sam, "So, we should talk sleeping arrangements…"

Sam stared right into his brother's eyes, "What's to talk about? You sleep with me."

Dean's face reflected his surprise and then a half smile formed on his face, "I get all tingly when you take control like that." Of course Dean was being his usual sarcastic self, but he had to admit that it did excite him a little bit to see Sam trying to exert power over him. For a second, Dean was lost in his own thoughts….he looked perplexed. He couldn't quite manage to wrap his head around the idea of him being turned on by his little brother trying to take control of him….pretty weird….and un Dean-like. 'What the hell?' Dean asked himself.

Sam raised an eyebrow and smiled at his big brother, "what's going on in that head of yours?"

"Nothing." Dean said. "But, what about Bobby? What's he going to think about us sharing a bed?"

"Well, he only has one spare room." Sam pointed out.

"I better sleep on the couch." Dean said.

Sam rolled his eyes, "That's cute that you're scared of Bobby." He moved over to Dean, "But, I said that you're going to sleep with me." He reached out and let his hand wander down to the front of Dean's jeans, while nipping at his neck gently with his teeth.

Dean pulled back, lust evident in his eyes, "Sammy, don't. What if he wakes up and comes downstairs?"

Sam smiled, once again reaching out to touch Dean, "He's going to find out sooner or later. If he finds out on his own it would be easier than having to bring it up."

Dean shook his head, "No, let's just go to bed, okay?"

Sam smiled, looking into Dean's nervous eyes and nodded. He had to admit that he was muscling through all of this anyway; he was just so damn tired and sore. "Yeah, okay."

They headed up the stairs, to the spare bedroom and walked in. Dean frowned, he knew there was no way that Bobby would think this was normal….there was only a double bed in this room. Generally, two normal brothers would not sleep virtually on top of each other in a bed, no matter how much they loved each other.

Sam had the opposite reaction at seeing that bed; he smiled. He smiled because he knew that the size of the bed meant that they would be able to sleep close together, maybe even get a little snuggling in. Sam almost laughed to himself; getting Dean to snuggle was harder than ripping off a vamp's head.

Sam removed all his clothing, except his boxers and slid between the sheets. He pulled the blankets apart, opening inviting Dean to join him, with a gigantic smile on his face.

"Why the hell are you smiling like the Cheshire cat?" Dean asked, holding in the groan that he wanted to let out. Sure, he and Sam had taken their relationship to a new level and they were intimate with each other. He was fine with it….hell, he even liked it….but snuggling in a bed in Bobby's house…that was just pushing it for him. He stripped off his jeans and socks and slipping into the bed, beside his smiling brother.

Sam reached over and tugged on the t-shirt that Dean was still wearing, "You don't need that t-shirt."

"Could we at least PRETEND to be normal for a little while?" Dean shook his head, very uncomfortable.

Sam wrapped an arm around Dean, sliding his body right up behind him. Sam began to nuzzle Dean's neck, earning a couple little moans from his brother. "What's the matter Dean; it's just you and me in here?"

Dean shook his head, "I can't help but feel like we're being watched."

Sam smiled, "Just relax. Trust me, I'm not really up for anything tonight and I don't think you are either, so we're just going to sleep. We need to get a few hours of good rest before we try to sort out what we're going to do next. It will be fine, Dean. We will get up and act like we used to. Don't worry, I'm not going to reach out and grab your ass while we're talking with Bobby or anything."

Dean sighed, "Okay, okay. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Dean. I kind of like it when you're being all nervous and sensitive." As proof Sam allowed his growing erection to rub tantalizingly up against Dean's ass. "Do you feel how hard I am right now?"

Dean closed his eyes and tried not to focus on how insanely hot Sam was when he was horny. Hell, he was hot all the damn time, but when his downstairs brain was running the show he was damn near scorching. He willed himself not to react to the glorious sensations that Sam was creating within him.

When Dean didn't react, Sam pressed even harder, this time pushing right up against the outside of his clothed hole. "Once I'm better I'm going to stretch you open for me and drill you so well that you'll be begging me to fuck the shit out of you."

Dean finally reacted to that; there was just no fucking way he could deny the searing heat he felt in his center. He let out a lusty groan and gasped, "Damn it Sam, you're going to be the death of me!"

Sam reached down and took a handful of Dean's ass into his palm, continuing to gyrate his hips against that beautiful hole, feeling muscles contracting against him. "God Dean, you have no idea how fucking badly I want this!" Sam's mind was focused only on taking him, dominating Dean's ass and claiming him as his own. "It's going to happen soon, Dean. I'm not going to be able to focus on anything else until then; I just want this so fucking bad!"

Dean bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes, tearing his ass away from those moments of pure heaven and shifted onto his other side, facing Sam. He could see the disappointment flickering in Sam's eyes. Dean's hand immediately rushed down to wrap around Sam's achingly hard cock, which had pushed through the hole in his boxers. "I know how badly you want it, and so do I, but we can't do it tonight." He lightly nipped at Sam's bottom lip, "How about I get you off and we get some sleep. The sooner you're better the sooner we can do this."

"Deal." Sam said, husky and breathy. "Put my cock in your mouth Dean." Sam's eyes closed, his body was so worn out from everything that had happened to him and sleep did sound absolutely wonderful. The only thing better than sleep was Dean and to have Dean's perfect little cock-sucking mouth wrapped around him as he drifted off to sleep….there wasn't much else in the world that could top that.

Dean was a little nervous, what if Bobby walked in on them? Part of him wanted to protest, but he had offered to help Sam out so he kind of owed the man now, didn't he? Dean sighed as his head came down and his mouth wrapped around that gigantic dick, 'hopefully we're going to be able to pull this shit off.'

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A/N: I hope you guys liked this. I keep dancing around this thing and not following through with it...sorry about that! Anyway, let me know what you think. I'm going to be out of town for a couple of days so I may not be able to update until Tuesday or so. Hopefully I will be able to work on it at some point when I'm gone...I will do my absolute best! Thanks again for all the fantastic reviews! You guys are so awesome!

XOXOXOXOX


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I'm sooooo sorry that I've sucked at life these last 5 or 6 days! I didn't end up getting home until late Tuesday night and for some reason the creative juices just were not flowing. I've changed this chapter around about 4 times but I think I'm finally happy with the way that it is now. I hope that you all will like it too! Let me know what you think...I just love, love, love the reviews!

X0X0X0X0X0X0X

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Chapter 22 - Have We Been Caught?

Dean woke at noon, the sun beating into the room and reflecting the shape of the window onto the wall. He looked over to his brother and noticed that he was still asleep. As much as Dean did not want to get up and have to face Bobby alone, he also didn't want to wake Sam after everything that had happened. No, it was definitely better that Sam got some rest.

Dean quietly and gently sat up and slid from the bed, careful not to wake Sam, who had his arm draped loosely over Dean's mid-section. He looked back at Sam again and smiled; the little fucker looked so peaceful that he just wanted to shift the hair from his face and kiss the sensitive skin of his eyelids. He groaned inwardly, 'stop acting like a girl, Deanna' Dean silently berated himself. He needed to get out of that room before he started to grow a vagina!

Dean walked down the stairs, checking as he went to see where Bobby was. He slipped into the kitchen and low and behold….there he was. "Want some breakfast?"

Dean smiled, "You're speaking my language, Bobby."

The older man smiled and turned back to his stove, flipping a couple of eggs. "Sunny side up or scrambled?"

Dean smiled, "Over easy?"

Bobby rolled his eyes. "I suppose we can make that work, Deanna."

Dean groaned on the inside. He couldn't let Bobby know how ironic the conversation was, but he certainly couldn't force himself to get over it that easily, so Dean merely stared at the table, rolling his eyes, hoping Bobby wouldn't say any more about it.

"So, how did you sleep anyway?" Bobby asked, his back still turned to the younger man, not noticing how uncomfortable he seemed to be.

Dean shrugged, "Must have been pretty good because it only felt like a minute later and I was awake."

Bobby nodded, "Yeah went in to check on Sam earlier and found you both in there."

Dean's eyes grew really wide, 'Holy shit' Dean silently cursed himself for allowing Sam to win the night before. He knew he should have stood his ground and slept on the couch. He closed his eyes in defeat, realizing that he always let Sam win; he doubted that would ever change. He sighed, "Yeah, I didn't want him to sleep alone in case he needed something."

Bobby was a lot of things; a hunter, a mechanic and the world's greatest pack rat, however a blooming idjit was not one of those things. "Uh huh" was all that Bobby said, before he dropped a couple of eggs onto a plate and went to work cracking a couple more for Dean. "So, he still asleep?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah." Dean wanted to dig a hole in the kitchen floor and bury himself in it. He hated the way that Bobby pretended not to know anything, while indicating that he saw right through the whole façade. "Quite honestly I hope he sleeps for a while. He needs some rest and relaxation so he can heal and get back in the saddle." 'Poor choice of words, Dean!' He silently criticized himself.

Bobby didn't want to talk any more about the weird scene he had walked in on during the latter part of the morning, when he had gone in to check on the sleeping brothers. He pushed those disturbing thoughts and questions from his mind and sobered up quickly, focusing his attention on Sam. "Speaking of which, what exactly happened to your brother?"

Dean frowned, wondering how he could explain this in a way that wouldn't shoot himself in the foot. "He went to this bar and he drank way too much. You know Sam can't handle his liquor, never could. Anyway, he was too drunk to drive or anything so he set out to walk back to the motel and a couple of guys jumped him out by the bar. Matt, the bartender, broke up the fight and brought Sam back to his apartment. That's when he called me and I came and got him."

"I can't believe that even drunk, Sam would allow something like that to happen." Bobby replied with a frown.

Dean shrugged, "He was VERY drunk. He was basically at the pass out stage."

Bobby furrowed his brow, "Sam never drinks like that; only when he's really upset…"

Dean grimaced again, "Yeah, we had some issues."

"And where were you during this whole thing?"

"I was with Lily." Dean felt a little bit sick to his stomach. He felt like an epic failure of a brother for allowing this whole thing to happen to Sam, all because he was too scared to stay and face it like a man.

"Lily is the one who is missing, right? Wasn't Matt the one who called you to tell you about it in the first place?" Bobby asked.

Dean nodded, "Yes and yes. Matt is Lily's cousin."

Bobby raised his eyebrow, "That seems like a bit too much coincidence to be coincidence, doesn't it? The Winchester brothers roll into town, they meet two random strangers in a bar who turn out to be cousins. Then, one of these cousins, the one you went home with, turns up missing, while the other one, who Sam-technically-ends up going home with, ends up calling you to tell you about the disappearance? Oh, and now you're the fed's only suspect….oh, and Sam's randomly assaulted by a couple of thugs? This all seems like a stinking pile of something to me."

Dean really didn't think any of it was connected, but he had to admit that when you put all those pieces together like that, it did seem kind of fishy. "Well, it wasn't exactly like a major metropolis or anything, Bobby. Don't people all know each other in those kinds of communities? And, aren't most of the people usually related? It can't be too weird that two people who both work in the same bar, as bartenders, happen to be cousins."

"But that they would both get themselves tangled up with the likes of you two and now the girl ends up missing…"

Dean frowned, "I don't know if leaving was the right move. I thought about staying."

"You're wanted, you idjit, you had to leave. You can't let yourself get arrested again; there is a butt-load of things they want to charge your ass with."

"Yeah, they sure do seem to love me." Dean cringed. The last thing he wanted to do was get himself locked up again, but he hated the fact that an innocent girl was out there somewhere, most likely being tortured and killed slowly and he was sitting back with Sam's thumb up his ass, not doing anything. He hated that he was allowing himself to be happy at a time like this, almost like this was some kind of vacation from hunting for him. He should be ashamed of himself for allowing himself to easily dismiss his responsibilities. He shook his head, "But no, she is a nice girl and she doesn't deserve this."

"Neither did your mother, or Sam's girlfriend or any of the poor people who get chosen as victims to the monsters out there." Bobby shook his head, "You're more good to the world if you're not in prison."

"Oh, like the angels wouldn't just find a way to get me out of there….probably kill everyone in the damn prison to do it. Of course they couldn't let me go that easily." No matter how Dean sliced it…his ass was always wanted by somebody who had an agenda.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, what kinds of drama were you two having this time? You and Sam sure seem to have more problems than married couples."

Dean rolled his eyes; he was violently uncomfortable talking about this whole thing. "Bobby, it's a long story and…"

Bobby put up his hand to stop Dean, ready to say what was on the tip of his tongue, but instead someone caught his eye. Sleepy Sammy was standing there in the doorway looking at the two men involved in a conversation that he knew he didn't really want to join in on. "Well, speak of the devil." Bobby said, thinking better of his choice of words after he said it, the irony was just too much.

Sam cringed; being compared to the devil was not exactly at the top of his list of favorite Bobby quotes. "Bobby, I…"

Bobby held up his hand, "Sorry, I forgot we weren't talking about that; which, by the way is stupid, because it's going to come back and bite you in the ass one of these days." Bobby knew he would infuriate them by bringing this subject up, but it was high time that the group of hunters stepped up to the plate and began dealing with the apocalypse that was looming over their heads, ready to explode at any minute.

Sam groaned and was ready to react when Dean stepped in and spoke for him, "We've been through this a shitload of times, Bobby."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's not going to be that long before the next horseman enters the race." Bobby pointed out.

"You're just a fucking ray of sunshine today, Bobby!" Dean exclaimed. He hated the way that Sam always reacted when they talked about the apocalypse. It was bad enough that they were going to have to deal with it eventually, but that they were each supposed to be the vessels for the opposing teams….that was excruciating. In those moments Dean didn't know what he'd rather talk about more, the apocalypse or his love life.

"Okay, okay." Bobby said, "Are you idjits gonna call that girl's cousin and see if there have been any changes?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah, we are."

Sam smiled, "Right after we eat."

Bobby turned his back to them once again, putting Dean's eggs onto a plate and plopping it down in front of him. "Sam, how do you want your eggs?"

Sam thought for a second, "Scrambled, I guess."

Bobby nodded, going back to work. Sam looked across the table at his brother and gave him a devilish smile. Dean's eyes widened and he pointed his head in Bobby's direction, trying to indicate that Sam needed to keep his horniness at bay while Bobby was around.

Sam didn't care. He wanted Dean and could think of nothing else. He licked his lips and slid his foot up under the table and let it fall between Dean's half-opened thighs. Dean jumped as soon as Sam's huge foot made contact with his loosely covered package. Dean had slipped into a pair of sweatpants when he had gotten up, deciding not to give Bobby a show in his boxers.

Dean shook his head; Sam was going to get their asses thrown out of Bobby's house. He pushed Sam's foot away with a glare, trying to be forceful enough to make Sam realize that he meant business. Sam just smiled and slid his foot back up to tantalize his brother some more. As infuriated as Dean was to have his brother trying to cause problems, he couldn't deny that it felt fucking great. Sam was a master even with his feet….even through a layer of cotton.

Dean stifled a moan by jamming a donut into his mouth, his eyes rolling back into his head.

Sam smiled, enjoying the scene before him. There was nothing in the world that Sam enjoyed more than seeing Dean's eyes glazed over with passion, pure putty in his hands. Dean was at Sam's mercy and Sam just loved the fuck out of it. He slid his foot against the hardening member torturously slow, causing Dean to gulp down the donut and grip onto the table for dear life.

Dean shot Sam a pitifully sinful look; lust overcoming him. Sam smiled back at him, wishing they were alone in that kitchen so that he could ravage him. Intermixed with looks of pure, unbridled passion were looks of murderous rage. Sam tingled inside, knowing that Dean was never sexier than when he was angry and horny at the same time.

Dean's head tilted back and he had to will himself not to cum. He certainly didn't want an obvious wet spot in the front of his pants, so he grabbed onto Sam's foot and pulled it from his aching cock. Sam didn't move his foot, he just let it sit there in Dean's hand, allowing Dean to start to tickle and massage. Dean smiled when he saw that Sam's eyes began to take on the look that his own had, only moments before. Clearly Dean had discovered something new about Sam….he had a thing for having his feet played with…good to know!

Dean reciprocated the torture until he noticed that Bobby was getting ready to plate Sam's food and he didn't exactly want to be tickling and teasing his brother's gargantuan feet when Bobby turned around.

Bobby placed Sam's plate in front of him and moved to an empty chair so that he could sit down and eat his own breakfast, but before he did that he turned to look at the brothers, "Okay, so I thought the trickster fixed you two."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "What?"

Bobby rolled his eyes, "I may have been born in the morning but it wasn't this morning! There's enough sexual tension in this room to choke a horse! I know I'm so going to regret asking this, but what the hell is going on with you two?"

'Shit, shit, shit!' Dean thought to himself; how the hell were they going to get themselves out of this one? If Sam could just keep his hands….and his feet….to himself maybe things like this wouldn't happen. He glared at Sam, deciding that since Sam had gotten them into this predicament, that for once he'd let Sam clean up the mess.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 – In Bobby's Kitchen

Sam gulped, staring at Dean for help. Dean didn't open his mouth, he just indicated for Sam to go on and explain. Sam turned back to Bobby, "Umm, um…I'm sure that Dean can explain this better than I can."

'What a little fucker!' Dean thought to himself, wishing he could shoot death rays out of his eyes, directly at Sam. Dean sighed and then plastered on a smile for Bobby, "I don't know what you're talking about, Bobby."

"Bullshit!" Bobby said. "I don't care if you're embarrassed or not, princess, but there's something supernatural going on here and I need to know about it."

"No, there isn't, Bobby. It's nothing." Dean said with a grimace on his face.

"It's not nothing." Sam said, hurt.

Dean shook his head, "Sam, relax, okay. I just meant that there isn't anything going on that he needs to worry about."

"Well, what about the trickster?" Bobby asked, staring intently at Dean.

Dean gulped, uncomfortably, "Well, I never said the trickster fixed us, Bobby, what I did say was that everything was fine."

Bobby raised his eyebrow, "So you two are alright with this…whatever it is?" He cocked his head to the side, "You're seriously going to tell me that canoodling your brother doesn't bother you? What would your daddy think?"

Dean looked a little bit sick, so Sam decided to finally step up and help out. "Dean and I have talked about this until we were blue in the face. We know what we're doing and as he said before…everything is fine."

Bobby started to move from the table, "I'm going to summon the damn trickster myself."

"Won't do you any good." Dean interjected, "He said he wasn't the cause of it!"

"Come again?"

Dean shrugged, "I didn't understand it either, but he said he didn't do this. He said he didn't have the power to control people's emotions."

Bobby raised an eyebrow, "Did he say what can?"

"God was the only example he used." Sam added.

"Yeah, I'll refrain from blaming him for the moment." Bobby said, leaving the room. For the life of him, he just couldn't believe that God was the source of this whole mess.

Dean looked confused, "Where are you going now?"

Bobby looked at the man like he'd grown six heads in the last five minutes, "To do some research, you idjit. Maybe if you'd gotten your head out of Sam's ass you could have figured this whole mess out. That is, unless you don't _want_ to figure this out." Bobby looked at Dean in an accusatory manner.

Dean looked into Sam's eyes, very uncomfortable about how to respond. "We definitely want to figure it out, don't we Sam?"

Sam shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so." He glared at Dean with such anger that Dean actually backed up a couple feet.

Bobby nodded and left the room, on a mission to nip this situation right in the bud before it got any worse.

Sam immediately stood up from the table, no longer wanting to be in the same room with his traitorous brother.

Dean stood up too, running to catch Sam's arm before he could leave the room. "Sam, stop…please."

Sam turned to glare at Dean, "Give me one good reason why I should."

"Don't be like this, Sam. You know how hard this is for me, okay? If there's a reason why this has happened…" Dean's voice trailed off.

Sam folded his arms over his chest, trying to force back the tears that threatened to spill over and betray him, "There is a good reason for it, Dean and you fucking know it! We're meant to be together, we always have been and we always will be. Stop trying to run away from this…quit being an asshole."

Dean's eyes almost popped out of their sockets, his brother hardly ever talked to him in this manner. "Sam, come on. If there is something supernatural going on here then when it gets fixed you're going to be just as grateful."

"And when Bobby figures out that it's not something supernatural you're going to be eating your stupid words. Nobody can make you feel the way I do; I know it and you know it." Part of Sam wanted to demonstrate this for Dean; how he could make Dean pure putty in his capable hands without hardly even touching him at all. He wanted to push Dean up against a wall and drill into him, drilling the magnitude of their relationship into his mind, but for the life of him he could not figure out how to get over the hurt and pain and actually touch the man.

Dean knew he was being overly defensive. He knew that he shouldn't be talking to Sam the way that he was talking to him; he knew that he was going to destroy the relationship that they had forged. He wanted to force himself to stop talking, force himself to stop being himself…but once he put his stupid foot in his mouth, he just couldn't get it back out. Sure, he did believe what he was saying…in part. He would be grateful if Bobby figured out that this whole thing was something supernatural and that he wasn't really attracted to his own brother…maybe he could even feel like a normal human being again…but he also knew that what was happening between the two of them was real, even if it killed him to admit it. "Stop being a bitch, Sam." Dean spat. "You're acting like a teenage girl who just got ditched at prom. This is nothing like that, okay? This isn't me saying that you're not good enough or that I don't even fucking want you…because I do. I want you more than I'm comfortable with and that's the big problem for me."

"Well, that's just too bad, isn't it? If you want to be with me then you're going to have to grow up and get over all your insecurities." Once Sam Winchester got pissed off he could really lay it out there. He knew how to be an ass with the best of him; he'd learned a few things from his brother. Even in Sam's hurt state he knew better than to think that Dean really was an asshole; he actually was one of the softest people in the world, he just covered it up with the asshole shell in order to prevent people from seeing what was underneath the surface. Sam knew these things about his brother; he knew things that nobody else knew…it was clear why they were right for each other. He was good for Dean, he could make Dean come to see himself for who he truly was and maybe even be there for Dean the way that Dean had always been there for him. But he couldn't do those things if Dean refused to see what was staring them right in the face.

"Don't you get it, Sam? This is wrong, what we're doing…it's so epically wrong. Nobody will ever understand it, ever! We're brothers, Sam! We're brothers who are interested in girls…who the fuck cares what that Chad asshole said anyway. I know who I am and I'm not a homo! You are the only dude that I have ever done anything with and that's how that will stay. Look, Bobby is sure this is something supernatural, so he'll figure it out and we'll fix it, then everything will be fine between us. Sure, we're going to need some serious therapy after it's all over but at least we won't have let things go even farther. I'm personally thankful that we never took the big major step that we could never recover from." Again, Dean felt like an asshole, but he was quite relieved. If there was a chance that these feelings weren't real…that was something that he wanted more than anything. Yes, he would certainly miss his brother in that way, because they were like fire and ice together…it was absolutely amazing when they were together, but this wasn't what he wanted for himself. If he didn't have to be attracted to his brother then he didn't want to be, even though he knew that it would hurt Sam. Ultimately he was doing this _for_ Sam. He and Sam had already been cursed and screwed to hell ten ways from Sunday; he just wanted _something_ normal for them…especially for his little brother.

"Recover from?" Sam exclaimed, "You talk about this like it's some disease. What we have is not a disease, Dean…it's real. It's always been you and me and it always will be, there's nothing in the world that can change that. And, the things that have happened between us are already too much to just throw a tarp over and hope they go away. I love you!"

"Like a brother…"

"Shut up and let me speak!" Sam exclaimed, "You always do that! You think you have to be in control of everything just because you're older. I don't care if you're 80, you're wrong! You don't know how I feel and you never will. All my life everyone's been trying to tell me who to be and what to do because they think they know what's best for me…well they don't. You don't! I. Love. You. I fucking love you! I love you in the way that I can't stop thinking about you…ever. I can't breathe when you're not there; if this thing between us goes away…I think I'll die! I need this Dean, I need you!"

Sam was really scaring the hell out of Dean. This intensity was just way too much for Dean to wrap his head around. "No, you'll be fine. If Bobby fixes this, you won't care about what we had or didn't have. You'll just go back to being Sammy; my little brother…who's extremely finicky about the girls he hooks up with. You'll eat cob salad everywhere we go and be obsessed with demon blood. You'll be the Sam you've always been…the one before all of this craziness happened. You won't even want me!"

Sam took a step backward, stunned. Was that what this was all about? "Dean, no…that's not true. I'm not going to ever stop wanting you, never!"

Dean shook his head, "That's what you say now, but you don't know what it will be like after."

Sam moved Dean, pushing him up against the wall of Bobby's kitchen. Sam gripped onto Dean's t-shirt tightly, his knuckles turning white, "Sure, maybe I've become a little bit obsessed, I can admit that. So this relationship has taken the place of the demon blood, but that doesn't mean that it's a passing thing, that it's something I could just easily give up and get over. Dean…maybe I didn't really get it before, but I've always felt this way about you. It's always been there, under the surface. It's the reason why I always gave you such a hard time about going out with all those skanky girls and leaving me to wait in the car or in the bar or something. I didn't want you to be out with those girls, I wanted you to be out with me! I wanted to be the one who got to make you feel good, Dean, who got to be with you in every way imaginable. I didn't want to have to share you with every girl in America."

Dean shook his head, "Stop it Sam, you don't mean that."

Sam got angry again, "Stop telling me what I mean and don't mean! I've said this before and I'll say it again…I want this! I want you and I always will! It doesn't matter what happens; Bobby can figure out that something did this, summon it and force it to fix us and I'll still feel this way." Sam pressed his body up against Dean's and bent his head down to press his mouth to Dean's. Dean tried to resist at first and then he gave up and allowed Sam to kiss him passionately, his tongue begging for entrance into Dean's mouth.

Dean opened his mouth and allowed Sam's tongue in. Had Dean ever really doubted that the two of them would end up just like this from when the conversation started? Dean always knew that nothing he said would change anything, he just felt compelled to say it. He had hoped that eventually something that he was saying would make sense to Sam and would make him stop. He hoped that Sam would realize that what was happening between them was something fleeting for him and would do Dean the favor of dropping this now, before he gained further ammunition against Dean's poor heart.

Bobby walked into the room and dropped the book he was holding. He immediately covered his eyes and tried not to lose his breakfast, "Oh shit, this is worse than I thought it was!"

Sam and Dean froze and Sam quickly pulled his body away from his brother's, a groan practically dripping from his mouth; it was always insanely difficult for him to separate from Dean. He looked at Dean and noticed that he looked kind of green. "Dean, relax okay? It's fine." Sam gently reached out to put his hand on Dean's cheek and Dean's eyes closed instinctively.

Dean turned his head slightly, trying desperately hard not to meet Bobby's eyes. Bobby was the closest thing that they had to a father and had actually been there for them more than their own father. The thought of Bobby hating them and kicking them out of his life was frankly worse than if their own father was alive and had done the same.

Sam looked back at Bobby, "Did you find out anything?"

Bobby swallowed down the bile that had risen up his throat, "Yeah, I think I might know who did this."


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: So, I've been having massive problems posting and such and it's been extremely frustrating. I finally learned a secret way to avoid the error message and am now able to post again! Anyway, I'm trying to power through all of this stuff right now...trying to get to the end of this one because I have two other stories haunting me. I pretty much know exactly how I want this one to end up...hopefully everyone likes it!

Let me know what you think! I love the review! Thanks again to everyone who's been reading and reviewing...you guys rock!

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Chapter 24 – Back On The Road Again

So, as much as Dean wanted to dig a hole in the floor, bury himself in it and never come out, he had to admit that the prospect of Bobby figuring this whole thing out was kind of a good thing. He hated the look on Sam's face and would have given anything to not have had to see it, but he had to face the reality that he knew this was going to happen eventually….deep down he had always known it. So, as embarrassed as he was, he had to know what the man had figured out. Dean looked over at Bobby, trying to focus his thoughts on the positives rather than the negatives. "What do you think happened?"

"Angels." Bobby said matter-of-factly.

"Huh? Why the hell would angels want this?" Dean asked, stepping closer to Bobby.

"I don't know, but it appears that angels have the power to do this. Kinda makes sense, they are God's bitches…"

Sam raised his eyebrow, "That would mean that God…"

Dean shook his head, "No, you heard them; God isn't even calling the shots anymore. The angels are off doing whatever the hell they damn well please. No, they're dicking with me, for some stupid reason."

"Maybe they're pissed that you keep saying no to the whole Michael thing." Bobby added.

"Probably." Dean rolled his eyes, "Just doesn't seem like Zachariah's style though you know…he's a tool and everything, but…"

"Maybe it's not Zachariah." Bobby added. "Maybe there's another angel who thought this was funny, wanted to play some games with your ass or something." Bobby raised his eyebrows, thinking for a second, "Literally actually…"

Dean groaned, "Bobby!"

"You should have told me about the trickster, maybe we could have sorted this out before things got carried away…" Bobby pointed back and forth between them.

Dean ran his hand over the back of his neck, "Okay, I've had enough of this topic for one day…I'm gonna get a shower." He wondered if he could wash the memory of everything that had happened to him in the last couple of months away with the scum.

Sam looked so dejected that it made Bobby feel a little bit sorry for the kid, but then he thought better of it. "Maybe you should give this Matt guy a call and see if there've been any changes in the Lily case."

Sam nodded, glad to have something else to think about, "Sure, good idea Bobby." Sam left the room to get the phone and call the friendly bartender….who had made a pass at Dean. He grumbled as he left the kitchen.

Bobby was left there alone. What the hell was he going to do now? He was supposed to be those stupid kids' father-figure, but he had no words of wisdom this time. Sure, they'd get things sorted out and even fixed, but what then? It's not like the memories will be gone too….or would they? Bobby wondered if any of the other angels could wipe their memories, after all, they'd done that kind of shit before.

As Bobby stewed in the kitchen, Sam went into the living room to make the call to Matt. He called the man and waited until he heard him pick up on the other end. "Hey Matt, it's Sam."

"Sam? Hey, how you feeling, any better?"

Sam grimaced, "Yeah, I'm healing." He sighed, "But, that's not what I'm calling about."

"You wanted to check in to see if there was any word about Lily." Matt didn't say it as a question; he simply knew exactly what it was that this pair or brother-lovers wanted to know.

"Yes." Sam answered.

"Well, they still haven't found her and Dean's still the only suspect. Look, it's getting harder to get them off Dean's trail, you know. I mean, I keep asking them to look further and try to figure out anyone else that it could be and they keep coming up dry. I don't know how long they will wait before they start really looking for him, you know?"

"Well, we're in South Dakota with family. I think he's pretty safe here. The thing is though that we're really worried about this case, especially Dean. Dean can't help but feel like something happened to her because of him."

"Why would he think that? Nobody even knows who you guys are around here. Besides, everyone knows and loves Lily so why would anyone want to hurt her?" Matt asked.

Sam shrugged, "I don't know, Matt, I really don't. Do you think you could tell me everything that they've been saying about the case….everything? I want to know every detail of what was found at the scene of the crime. Do they know if she was at home when she was taken? I need to know everything that you know."

"Okay." Matt said, "Well, they are pretty sure she was at her apartment, because of the way things looked there. There were definitely signs of a struggle…broken lamp, furniture tipped over, and of course the knife."

"Knife? What knife?" Sam asked. How come they hadn't heard anything about a knife?

"Apparently there was a bloody knife found at the scene, but there weren't any prints on it and the blood wasn't hers. They still have no idea who the blood belonged to though." Matt explained.

"So, must be the assailant was pretty hurt or even killed." There was no way that someone just got stabbed like that and then walked away without leaving some sort of indication that they had been hurt.

"There was no blood pooling on the floor. It was just like the knife had been pulled out of someone's body and dropped. They could find no other evidence of an injury. It's all very strange. They don't know exactly what to make of it. Basically, at this point, they believe the blood to be your brother's, but we both know that it's not his." Matt had no idea why Sam would want to know all of this stuff, but he just continued to inform the man.

"Right." Sam said. Even if Sam did doubt his brother in that kind of way….which he didn't….there would have been a lot more blood if Dean had been stabbed. This sounded like something supernatural. "What kind of knife was it?"

"Why does that matter?" Matt asked, his brow furrowed. Matt had so many things on his mind that there was just no way that he could really be sure about something as insignificant as what kind of knife it was.

"It just does." Sam couldn't explain the significance of the answer.

"It was silver I guess. I don't know as if they ever really said for sure, but it sure looked silver to me, not that I'm some expert on metals." Matt paused for a minute. "I think I might have a picture of it actually. I can send it to your phone. Just hang on a minute."

Sam nodded, though the other man couldn't see it, "Okay, no problem." He needed to know what kind of knife this was, because it could narrow a few things down for him. Sam had to wait about five minutes to receive the picture, which he studied thoroughly before deciding on the metal. "Definitely silver. Thanks Matt!"

"You're welcome. Anything that can help find my cousin…." Matt's voice trailed on but it was barely a whisper.

"Is there anything else?" Sam asked. He had to carefully remind himself not to get so excited that he forgot to get the rest of the information that could prove to be very important.

"I don't know, I doubt it's important, but the police were pretty baffled as to why there was sulfur found on the windows…"

Sam cut the other man off before he could finish, "Thank you so much, Matt, you have no idea how helpful you've been! We are going to do everything we possibly can to find her, you have my word."

"What exactly are you going to do? Shouldn't you guys stay away and let the police handle this?" Matt asked.

"The police don't know what we know. Trust me; you'd rather have us on the case than them." Sam didn't have time to explain right then, he needed to get off the phone and relay the information that he had just learned.

"Okay, well, I hope you can help." Matt said, puzzled. He could tell by the tone of Sam's voice that the man was dead serious and very intent on helping the situation. Matt was very grateful to anyone who could help find her, but he just didn't understand why these guys (especially when one of them was wanted as the only suspect) would come all the way back to try and get in the middle of the whole thing when the police and the F.B.I. were already investigating it.

"Me too, thanks again!" Sam ended the call quickly, not wanting to waste any more time. "Bobby!" Sam called, trying to get the man into the room.

"What is it, son?" Bobby asked.

"I think I know what's got her….it's demons." Sam explained.

"How do you know that for sure?" Dean asked, walking into the room, clean and fresh; his hair still damp from the shower.

Sam forced himself to not think about Dean in the shower, but it was nearly impossible. If the information that he had to relay wasn't so significant then he might have lost himself completely in his own wickedly dirty thoughts. Why did his brother have to be so damn gorgeous anyway? It should be against the law to look that good. Sam refocused and took a deep breath before explaining, "Matt said they found sulfur on the windows." Sam explained. He would have time to fill them in on the rest of the details later, but right then he just needed to give them the basic, most important information.

Bobby nodded, "Well, we need to get your situation taken care of, but I would say that we should probably take care of this first. The girl's life is in danger and that is the more pressing concern." Bobby shook his head, not wanting to think about letting the brothers go on like this any longer. He hated the way things were going with them and hated how dirty it made him feel to be in the same room with them….undressing each other with their eyes. Bobby gulped, "Sam and I will go back there and take care of the girl. Dean, you stay here, preferably in the panic room."

Dean shook his head, "Like hell I will. I'm going with you."

Sam argued back, nervously, "Dean, please! They're going to find you and you're going to go to jail. It's best that you stay away."

"I don't care! This girl was probably taken because of me and I can't just sit back and relax while she's out there getting hurt." Dean was the kind of person to take action, not sit on his ass and do nothing. He liked her, a lot, and he wasn't going to allow this to happen to her…not if there was something that he could do to stop it.

Bobby looked back and forth between them. He figured it was just easier to stay out of the arguing, "Well, I think that one of you should ride with me."

Sam's eyebrows shot up, "You're going to let him go?"

"What would you have me do; tie him down somewhere so he can't follow? If we don't let him go with us then he'll just follow us anyway and end up doing something stupid." Bobby pointed out, matter-of-factly.

Dean smiled. He was glad that Bobby had come to terms with the fact that he was going to do whatever he wanted to do. "That's right. And, I'm driving."

Bobby looked at Sam, "Guess that means you're riding with me."

Sam shook his head, "No, I won't leave Dean alone in the car in case something happens."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Bobby said.

Dean folded his arms over his chest. "We can fight about this later, but right now we should probably just get going. The sooner we get there the better the chances of her still being alive." Dean wasn't into any funny business. Right now he didn't care who rode with whom, he just wanted to get the hell on the road.

Bobby shrugged and gathered up the supplies that he thought they might need. He also threw together the ingredients for the trickster summoning ritual that he intended to do as soon as the girl was found. He grabbed the beers from the refrigerator, knowing he was going to need them as long as he was hanging around the brothers.

Sam and Dean gathered up their gear and loaded up the Impala. Sam looked really sad as he slipped into the passenger seat and waited for Dean to get in the car. Dean waited outside of the car until Bobby came out and loaded up his truck. "You can follow me since I know exactly where we're going."

Bobby nodded, "Okay. Don't stop to pee twenty five times on the way though. I know how you two are."

"Hilarious, Bobby!" Dean said, rolling his eyes. He gave the man a weak smile and slid into the car. He put the Impala into gear and pulled out of Bobby's salvage yard.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25 – Dean Breaks Down

It was about three hours into the trip and Sam was sitting there with his classic bitch-face on. Dean, exasperated, looked over at him and finally decided to say something, "I know you're stewing, you might as well just say whatever's going through that brooding head of yours."

"Do you like her?" Sam asked. He didn't know why that was the thing that popped out of his mouth first, what with all the other things swarming through his head.

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Of course I like her, she's a very nice girl."

"You know what I mean, Dean." Sam explained. "Is she someone that you would consider getting more serious about?"

"You know it's pointless to even consider things like that with this line of work." Dean said; kind of avoiding the question.

Sam rolled his eyes, "I'm talking hypothetically here, Dean. Stop being such an ass!" Sam had enough of his brother acting this way. He was being stand-offish and pushing him away because he thought that was the right thing to do. Sam was so pissed that Dean always thought he was doing the right thing for Sam, but had no idea what the right thing was!

Dean sighted, he really wished he wasn't having this conversation with Sam under these circumstances. "Honestly, right now it's a little bit hard for me to know what I feel for anyone. I probably won't be able to give you an honest answer to that for a couple days." Dean hated that this whole thing hurt Sam so much. He wished there was a way to reverse this without having to break Sam's heart. Of course, Dean had to remind himself, that once it was reversed Sam would be absolutely fine…he wouldn't be hurt anymore.

Sam folded his arms over his chest, "Would it make a difference to you if I said I didn't want to 'fix' this?"

Dean frowned, "I'm sorry Sammy, but it's not real."

"Just because Bobby found out that an angel _could_ do this, doesn't mean that an angel _did_ do this!" Sam exploded. He couldn't control the feelings he was trying to keep at bay. He wanted to shout it from the hilltops that he was in love with Dean and there wasn't any damn thing that anyone could do to ever change that!

"Well then, we will find out in a couple of days." Dean was matter-of-fact. He didn't want to say any more about the subject than he had to.

Sam grumbled. He wished he had ridden with Bobby. "Why the hell are you doing this? I thought we had something good here."

"Are you honestly going to tell me that you'd rather have things be this way then have us be normal? All your damn life you've wanted to be normal….why have you now decided to take a dump on normalcy?" Dean was being a bit overdramatic but he just couldn't seem to get Sam to understand. Dean had never been enough for Sam as a kid and their lifestyle wasn't really what Sam had wanted….this was buckets full of crazy shit and yet Sam was alright with it?

"I gave up on trying to be normal, Dean. I have come to terms with the fact that you and me…that's all I have. I'm never going to be able to find a girl, settle down, get married and have a white picket fence, two kids and a dog. That's not the way life is going to be for me and honestly I don't want it to be that way." There was a big part of Sam that wanted to grab his brother and strangle him.

"Do you remember back to when that Djinn got me and I was strung up and bleeding out? Don't you remember all the crazy things I told you about? I was in this world where mom was alive, you and Jess were happy and I was happy. I had this life that I had always wanted and so did you, but I couldn't stay…do you remember me telling you about this? Do you remember how I told you that I couldn't stay because it wasn't real? I dug my way out because I knew that somewhere in the real world was my real brother…my real Sammy who needed me! Well, this thing between us…it's kind of like that." Dean looked at Sam with so much feeling and emotion that Sam stopped before he could say what he wanted to say.

Sam's faced softened considerably. "I know you don't see it, Dean, but this is real. What I feel for you is real."

"I'm just scared Sammy, I'm always so fucking scared when it comes to this thing between us." Dean was breaking…the soft gooey center was beginning to pour out of him.

Sam looked at Dean with sensitivity, "What are you so scared of, that this isn't real? That in two or three days I'm not going to want you anymore? That I'm going to be sickened by this? That you need to do whatever you can to protect me from all negative feelings?"

Dean couldn't look at Sam. He focused his eyes on the road ahead, trying so hard not to let Sam see the vulnerability there. Because of the things that had happened between them Sam knew him so much better than ever before. Sam could see what Dean tried to keep hidden and it killed him that he couldn't hide anymore. Where were those safe walls he had built around his heart when he needed them? He would rather have Sam thinking he was the biggest asshole on the planet than being able to read him like a book like that.

"If Bobby wasn't behind us I'd tell you to pull over right now. I hate when you get that look on your face, it kills me." Sam said; his voice barely above a whisper. Dean looked like he was fighting back tears and Sam couldn't take it. "Dean, I…" Sam reached out to gently rub Dean's thigh in an affectionate kind of way.

Dean bit his lip and swallowed the lump in his throat, "Sam, please. I can't take this, okay?" Being this close to him and knowing that they couldn't have each other in the way they both wanted was killing him inside. Dean could only fight so long…he was wearing thin. Soon he would break and he wasn't going to be any good to anyone. He needed to keep his game face on so that they could figure out what the hell was going on with Lily and he could avoid getting in an accident and killing them both. Without any prompting, Dean pulled the car over onto the shoulder of the road and hoped that Bobby would follow suit. When Dean saw Bobby pull up behind them and turn his flashers on, Dean turned to Sam, "I think I need you drive for a while."

Sam gulped; that was the big gigantic sign that something was really wrong with Dean. The fact that Dean didn't think that he could drive the car was almost too much for Sam and he almost found himself tearing up. He had to shake it off because his brother needed him then. Dean had always looked out for him and covered his ass, so it was the least that Sam could do in return. He nodded at Dean and slipped out of the car.

Bobby was already out of his truck, "What's going on; is everything alright?"

Sam nodded, "We're just switching drivers, that's all." Sam tried to sound casual, but he knew that Bobby wasn't dumb enough to think that Dean could be tired after only a few hours of driving.

Rather than pressing the issue any further, Bobby merely nodded his head and turned around to walk back to his truck. Dean chose that moment to slip out of the car and toss the keys at Sam, who caught them in mid-air. Dean felt so emotionally worn out that he knew it would be evident on his face and he certainly didn't want Bobby to see that look. Maybe he couldn't keep his feelings a secret from Sam anymore but he could still pull it off with Bobby…in part anyway.

Dean dropped himself into the passenger seat that was still warm from Sam's body and closed his eyes. It was absolutely insane that things were going like this. Dean just couldn't handle the way that he was feeling inside; so torn between what he wanted and what he knew was right.

Sam settled himself into the driver's seat, adjusting the mirrors and the seat itself; allowing more room for his gigantor legs. Once he was comfortable he pulled the car back onto the road and they continued on their journey.

"Hey, you okay?" Sam knew the question was stupid, but he had to ask.

Dean barely looked at him and shrugged, "I'm just going to sleep for a while." They both knew better than to think that Dean was actually going to be doing a whole lot of sleeping while he was as upset as he visibly was. Sam longed to make Dean feel better in any way that he knew how to but he doubted that Bobby would have the patience for that sort of thing. On top of his concern about Bobby was the concern for the girl that was out there somewhere and in need of their help.

Sam knew that it was a bad idea for Dean to go with them, considering everything, but he also knew that if Dean had somehow miraculously not protested against the wishes of Bobby and Sam's smarter side, that he would have worried his ass off the entire time. Sam couldn't stand the thought of being away from Dean long enough to use the bathroom, let alone go on an entire hunt without him. Maybe such codependence was dangerous; maybe they shouldn't need to be together so much, maybe it was unhealthy.

Dean sat there for hours, eyes shut and pretending to sleep, desperately not wanting to have to talk to his brother. There were no words that could make any of this alright, not at this point. The things that had happened between them were just so big…so impossible to get over…he knew things were going to be so difficult when they were back to normal. What was he going to think of himself and Sam when it was over? Would he look at Sam differently? Would he even be able to look at Sam again? Sam was the most important person in the entire world to him and the last thing he wanted to do was make it so that they lost each other…again. He barely survived through the times they hadn't been together in the past…sure, maybe he was a better hunter then…but never a more complete person. He never felt safe and at home without Sam.

At about 11:00 P.M. Sam pulled the Impala into a craphole motel parking lot. Dean sat up in his seat, glad to finally not have to pretend to be asleep. "What are we doing here?" Dean asked. This was not their destination; they were about 30 minutes away in fact.

Sam looked at Dean like he was crazy, "Are you insane; do you actually think I'm going to bring you back to the town where your picture is most likely plastered on every available surface? We can't exactly do much hunting at this hour and I need some sleep, so we're going to stay here and hope that your picture hasn't made it out here yet."

Dean nodded. He made a face as he stepped from the car; this place was an even bigger pile of crap than the last motel.

Sam put up his hand, "No, Bobby and I will go in and get rooms. You need to stay in the car and don't talk to anyone."

Dean raised his eyebrow and saluted Sam, "Yes sir."

Sam smiled, always loving being in charge. Bobby walked over to him, "Is this the place?"

"Nah, we're a half hour away. I didn't want to bring Dean back there yet." Sam told him.

"Good thinking." Bobby looked Sam square in the eyes, "You two should probably get separate rooms."

Sam shook his head, "Dean and I have a lot to talk about and we'll be fine. We've been together this whole time anyway, what's the big difference?"

Bobby shook his head, "Fine. I can't exactly tell you what to do, but I do have two big requests that I hope you will honor."

"Sure Bobby." Sam said, knowing he was going to be sorry he agreed to this before he heard what Bobby had to say.

"Well, for one thing, please don't do anything that you'll regret after we get this mess sorted out. And, secondly, please remember that these walls will be thin! Most likely I'm going to be next door and I don't want to be up all night hearing things that will live on in my memory for the rest of my born days. Please do not make me want to kill myself, Sam!" Bobby made a face and headed toward the office of the motel.

Sam just smiled as he watched the older man walk away; he just couldn't make any promises.

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A/N: Okay, so I'm approaching the end of this. There is probably 4 or 5 more chapters I would think. I hope everyone is enjoying this. I know I've postponed a lot of stuff and I'm sorry. I plan to give you some more wincesty goodies in the next chapter...so have no fear!

Anyway, thank you for all the reviews. I haven't yet been able to reply to the reviews sent to me because I haven't received them in e-mail form...stupid gmail. Oh well, I will respond once they show up there!

Thanks again! Hope you enjoy! Had to redeem Dean a little bit in this one. I always just want to hold him and make him feel better lol...then I remind myself that he isn't real...very depressing!


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: So, this is a long one this time...but there was a lot to fit into this one. I don't think anyone will mind the length of this one. I had to put this in there...this is, after all, a WINCEST story! :) I hope you all enjoy! Let me know what you think!

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Chapter 26 – Another Run-Down Motel

Sam and Dean unloaded the car and walked into their room. Dean raised his eyebrow as soon as he walked in, "One bed, Sammy?"

Sam smiled and shrugged, "That's all they had."

"Cause this place really seems overrun with people." Dean said sarcastically. He looked around the room and the place was horrible even for his standards. The paint was peeling off the walls, the closet was off the hinges and he was quite terrified to look into the bathroom. "Maybe we should get a black light before getting near that bed."

Sam smiled, it didn't seem that bad to him. Usually he was the one complaining about the accommodations, but this time he just didn't give a shit. With everything that was happening with Dean he was just glad that they had a room with some privacy and were forced to sleep together. He fought the urge to smile at the thought of having Dean's body beside his as they slept. Sam feared he wouldn't get any sleep at all though; he was just so fucking attracted to his brother's gorgeous body. "I'm sure we've slept in worse places."

"That's a really pleasant thought, Sammy." Dean said, shaking his head. He braced himself and turned the bathroom light on; he had to piss like it was his job and he couldn't wait any longer. He slowly opened his eyes and scanned the room. It didn't seem too horrible; the surfaces seemed relatively clean and the towels only had a few stains on them….all in all it could have been worse. He let out the breath he had been holding and whipped the seat up so that he could empty his bladder.

Sam opened the door and walked in, "Hey, I need to get a shower."

Dean glared at his brother, "Dude, privacy!"

Sam rolled his eyes, "I've seen it before, Dean."

"Doesn't mean you can just waltz in on me." Dean protested.

Sam put up his hands, "Sorry." He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it to the floor. He started to unbutton his jeans and Dean quickly diverted his eyes.

Dean's eyes popped out of his head and he blushed. "Sam, do you mind?"

Sam shrugged, pulling his pants down, "Not really." He turned around and turned on the water, tweaking with the nob until he got the temperature right where he wanted it. Then he dropped his boxers and hopped in. "You're welcome to join me."

Dean's throat went dry. He had tried to divert his eyes but the sight of Sam's long, lean…completely butt ass naked body was incredibly distracting. He swallowed hard, "I don't think that's a good idea.

"Don't trust yourself around me?" Sam asked, knowing he was being a pain in the ass. He loved to get Dean's goat; it was his favorite thing to do.

Dean shook his head, "No, this isn't going to happen." He zipped up his jeans, which was harder to do now that he had a full on erection in his pants. He turned on his heels and headed out of the bathroom, leaving Sam standing there, wearing nothing but a sly smirk.

Dean went out and sat on the bed, burying his face in his hands. How the hell was he supposed to get through this with his dignity intact and his heart the least broken as possible with Sam making things so difficult?

Dean was still sitting like that when Sam came back out into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked at Dean and felt bad right away. He felt like the hardcore ass that he was being; this was wrong. He shouldn't be manipulating his brother when he was obviously extremely upset. "Dean, I'm sorry." Sam quickly grabbed some clothes and headed back into the bathroom, not allowing himself to tease Dean anymore.

When Sam left the bathroom this time he was dressed and wearing a sympathetic smile. Dean sighed, "Why do you have to be like that? Why do you have to make this so hard for me?"

"Because I want you, Dean. I guess it just makes me feel good to think that you want me too." Sam moved toward his brother, sitting down beside him.

As soon as Sam was sitting beside him, Dean jumped up from the bed and began to pace the room. Dean was a pacer; it was his thing. Whenever he was upset about something he liked to pace.

"Dean, sit down…please!" Sam begged.

"No, I don't want to be that close to you."

Sam stood up and moved toward his brother. "You need to stop this, Dean. It's time to throw caution to the wind and start to go with what you're feeling. What do you feel, Dean?"

Dean shook his head, "I feel a couple of different things. There's what my body and my heart want and then there's what my head wants."

Sam smiled, "You have to stop going with your brain, Dean. That northern brain of yours is cramping your style."

Dean scratched his head, "You won't be saying that in a couple days."

"You have no idea what's going to happen in a few days, Dean. You can't tell me what I'm going to think and feel, because you don't know."

Dean shook his head, "Well, I just can't throw my love around, Sam. I can't just throw caution to the wind and do something like this…not when it could be gone tomorrow. I can't take chances like that."

Sam backed Dean up against a wall and braced his hands on either side of Dean's head, holding him there. "Dean, if there's anything I've learned from this life is that everything is fleeting. We never know from one day to the next if we're going to be alive. Heaven and Hell both want us…we're both doomed. Neither one of us knows how long we have. We can't waste the time we do have being cautious and scared." He bent his head down to nuzzle at Dean's neck gently. "Look Dean, all we have is the here and now. All we can go on is how we feel right now. Stop analyzing things so much."

The single man tear slid down Dean's face, "Sam, please…"

Sam softened, "What do you want Dean? What can I do?"

He couldn't meet Sam's eyes, "Just make everything be alright." Dean couldn't help it; the tears began to flow and he couldn't hold them back anymore.

Sam gently wiped them away with his thumbs, "Shhh, everything is going to be alright. You don't always have to be so tough. Sometimes you need to just go for what you feel inside and let people love you."

"I don't want to lose you, Sammy."

"You won't; you can't. Nothing you could do could ever make me leave you again. We've been through this. Nothing has changed since the last time we talked about this. Just because we know there's a strong possibility that something made us feel this way about each other…it doesn't change it. Dean, you are my big brother first and foremost and I need you in my life. I'm not going anywhere….never again." He ran his hands through Dean's spiky hair affectionately, "Look Dean, whoever did this...they obviously saw something between us. I honestly don't believe that they could make something out of nothing like that. Besides, I've always looked up to you, always thought you were the most gorgeous man in the world. Maybe when I was younger I attributed it to hero worship or whatever, but I know now that it was always something more. I know you don't believe me…you think that it will all change in the blink of an eye…but it won't. I'm not an idiot, Dean, I've never experienced anything like this before and I never will again."

Dean's head was rested against Sam's chest, not wanting Sam to see his face; embarrassed about the way he was behaving. "Me either Sam, it will never be like this with anyone else again."

Sam ran his hands over Dean's chest and settled over his heart, "Even if things change and I don't feel that way anymore, I'll still remember. I'll remember the way your body felt against mine and the way your skin felt against my fingertips. I'll remember the way you smell and the little noises you make when you're close…not to mention that I'll never forget how amazing you taste. Dean, my body will remember you, even if my mind tries to tell me that I don't feel it."

Dean looked up at Sam then, underneath his eyelashes that were wet with the tears he had shed. Sam couldn't get over how achingly beautiful he looked and yet so tortured that it made Sam's heart shatter into a million pieces. "Sammy…" Dean whispered, his mouth moving closer to Sam's.

Sam let Dean lead the way. He loved it when Dean took the initiative and made the moves; he knew then that Dean actually really wanted it too.

Dean placed his lips very gently against Sam's, his lips quivering vulnerably. Dean hated being the girl in the relationship, it made him want to shoot himself with his own gun. "You make me into a girl, Sammy." Dean said against Sam's mouth.

"Well, you're my girl." Sam wrapped his arms around Dean's body, pulling him tightly against him. "Do you feel how much I want you, Dean? I try so hard to be sweet and gentle with you, but I just can't help myself. You do things to me that nobody's ever been able to do before and I don't know how to take it slow. I just want to be against you and within you always."

Dean moaned, of course he wanted that too. He always wanted that too, but his fears made him not want to make that final step. "I just don't know if I can take that big final leap yet."

Sam smiled, "Go with what your body wants for a change, Dean."

Dean shook his head, "No penetration, Sammy. I want to wait until I know we both want this, for real. Please."

As if Sam could deny Dean this simple request. Of course he wanted to be buried inside of his absolutely beautiful brother but he didn't want to cause him more pain or cause Dean to kill him. "Okay Dean, I understand." He pulled Dean with him onto the bed. "Just let me touch you; let me make you feel good."

Dean couldn't object; he never could. It honestly didn't really matter what Dean wanted, he was Sam's helpless little bitch and he would never say no to those dewy, sensitive, pleading eyes. "Okay Sammy, touch me."

Sam didn't need to be asked twice. He crushed his lips against Dean's, as his hands explored every inch of his body. He knew Dean enjoyed the foreplay more than he did, so he always made himself drag things out so that he could have Dean achingly hard and begging beneath him.

Sam's tongue and teeth made contact with Dean's ear; his tongue slowly sliding up and down the outside of it, watching as Dean's lips parted and his head tipped back slightly. "That's right, big brother, I'm going to make you feel so good!" He said just before he nipped at the earlobe with his teeth, earning him a husky moan in response.

Dean struggled with Sam's shirt, in a wild haze of passion. He slid it over his brother's head and threw it onto the floor. He pulled back slightly so that he could admire those gigantic, tight muscles. God, looking at Sam's body like that always made Dean feel tiny.

Dean's shirt had to go as well. Sam grabbed onto it and violently ripped the shirt off his older brother's frame. Dean's eyes were like saucers; he certainly hadn't been expecting that. "Holy shit, Sammy! I hope you don't rip me in half like you did my shirt!"

Sam smiled and placed his mouth to Dean's jugular, placing soft little kisses there, "Never."

Dean had liked that shirt too, but he guessed that it didn't matter too much anymore. "Let's try not to destroy all my clothes though, okay?" He couldn't help but smile at his He-man brother.

"Shut up Dean," Sam said with a smile, "less talk, more action."

Dean raised his eyebrow; his brother could get real bossy when he was horny.

Sam toyed with Dean's nipples, rolling them around between his fingertips and watching as Dean's eyes glazed over, delirious with passion, little husky moans escaping his lips. "Yeah, you like that huh?"

"Yeah." Dean muttered. He gripped onto the waistband of Sam's jeans and began to unbutton and unzip them. Sam helped him out by quickly peeling them off and discarding them to the floor.

"You getting a little antsy, big brother?" Sam asked as he slipped out of his boxers.

Dean's eyes went right to the insanely hard, insanely huge package standing at attention before him. "Damn, I'll never get used to the size of that thing!"

"Eventually you will, but I like to hear that." Sam said with a smile. He pushed Dean back down onto his back and unhooked his jeans with his mouth. Once Dean's jeans were unzipped Sam proceeded to blow erotically all over the hardened member threatening to rip through the offending fabric. Dean's back arched and he moaned a loud, slutty moan. "You've gotta be quiet…I had instructions."

"What?" Dean asked, shocked.

"Don't worry about it; just try to keep those sexy noises under control." Sam knew this was impossible, just like he knew it was going to be impossible for him not to scream out when he came like a fire hose…like he knew he was going to.

"Take my pants off!" Dean demanded, basically delirious.

Sam was happy to oblige. He pulled Dean's pants and boxers off at the same time, adding them to the pile of their discarded clothing. When he got a good look at how hard Dean was he grinned. Bending his head, Sam licked his way from the base to the tip, causing Dean's cock to stir and jerk from the excitement. Sam lightly scratched at the insides of Dean's thighs as he bent his mouth down once again to lick all the way around the cockhead.

"Oh my God, Sammy!" Dean's fingers were in Sam's long hair, holding on for dear life. "Suck me Sam, please!"

Sam smiled and reached out to grip at Dean's thick dick, stroking it up and down the shaft as his mouth covered the head and his tongue lapped at the clear juices that were pouring out of his slit. He slowly worked his mouth down farther onto Dean's cock, until he had the entire thing in his mouth; completely deep throating his older brother.

Dean almost blacked out. He was seeing stars and had never felt anything this good in his life. Nobody could suck a cock quite like his brother, it was fucking insane. "I'm going to cum!"

Sam pulled off him quickly, "Oh no you're not." There was a wicked fire in Sam's eye, "Not yet anyway."

Dean groaned but smiled; he loved it when Sam took charge.

"How about you get down on your knees and suck on me?" It was a kind of a question, but Sam didn't expect there to be any objections; he intended for Dean to do just what he asked.

Dean resisted the urge to touch himself, feeling so hot and horny that he could barely think straight, and slid onto the floor on his knees. He reached out and gripped the enormous cock, bright red and engorged with blood. He slid his hand achingly slowly up and down the shaft, earning a moan and a grunt in response. Dean blew on the head the way Sam had done to him when he had still been clothed. Sam's knees buckled for a second before he gained control over his legs again. Dean smiled and took Sam into his mouth as far as he could and then quickly pulled out. He bent his head down to do that all over again, feeling Sam's hand wrap around the back of his neck. Dean fought Sam's strength and pulled back again in order to run his fingertips all over the hottest cock he'd ever seen in his life.

Sam thought he was going to blow and he wasn't ready for that yet, so he picked Dean up, his hand gripping at Dean's perky ass cheeks. He laid Dean down on the bed and allowed their cocks to rub together in the most delicious of ways.

Dean could feel all the moisture on Sam's cock, rubbing against his own; the feeling so insanely intimate and passionate that he could only imagine one thing more intimate in his life; what it would feel to have Sam buried inside of him, filling him and making him his completely.

Sam moved his cock away so that they wouldn't just get off right then and there and Dean groaned from the loss. Sam smiled and moved his cock to Dean's ass. He let his cock run up and down the crack of Dean's ass, torturing and teasing him of future times to come. Sam's cock made promises to Dean then that someday he would enter him and make him his own.

Dean didn't fucking care about his issues anymore, he began to buck against that hard cock, "I want it inside me!"

Sam smiled devilishly, "No Dean, I promised. You were right. We should wait until after we figure everything out." Sam hated to disappoint Dean but he knew that Dean's northern brain didn't really want it. He got another idea, something that would help them for the future, "Open your mouth." Sam told him as he slipped two of his fingers into Dean's mouth. Dean sucked them like a champion; like he was sucking on Sam's cock and oddly enough…Sam almost felt it there too. "So fucking hot!" Sam let Dean suck his fingers until they were sopping wet with saliva and then he slowly slid them down to Dean's very tight little hole.

Dean's eyes opened widely, discovering what it was that Sam wanted to do. He wanted to say no, that maybe he wasn't ready, but he couldn't help it…he wanted to know what it would feel like. If he ever was going to have Sam's massive cock inside of him he would have to get through this part first. He lay back and closed his eyes as Sam's fingers circled around the opening.

"You need to relax." Sam told him, lightly running his fingers over Dean's cock. The friction helped immensely; Sam was able to get his first finger in to the knuckle. "Just lie still and let your body adjust to it."

Dean did the best he could. There was a burning sensation mixed with the feeling of needing to poop, but Sam just pushed through it. Sam got his entire pointer finger in and then worked on the second finger, his other hand never leaving Dean's cock. Dean knew that if Sam wasn't stroking his shaft he would never have been able to take those fingers so easily.

"See Dean, it's not so bad." He pushed a little harder, feeling Dean's resistance against his hands. "Shhh, I'm not going to hurt you, just relax."

"It burns." Dean retorted, causing Sam to pull out and look up into Dean's face.

"That's normal." Sam spit a bit onto his hand, beginning to work his finger back in. Once he got it back in he curved it up so that he could hopefully make Dean feel good. He knew he'd hit the prostate when Dean let out the sluttiest of moans he'd ever heard and began to move against Sam's hand.

"Right there, right fucking there!" Dean didn't care who heard them, even Bobby….it just felt so fucking good that he couldn't even see straight. "Give me another finger, Sam!"

Sam smiled, tried to shush him a little bit and did as he was told. He slid his middle finger in slowly, but didn't have to work very hard. Dean had opened right up for him. Once he had both fingers in there and they had found the sweet spot, Dean began to buck against him again, feeling a stirring in his balls.

Sam continued to stroke at Dean's cock and Dean reached down to stroke at his. They worked each other the way they liked it until Dean screamed out and practically shot the moon. "Oh Sammy, fuck yes!" He screamed, letting loose a string of obscenities along with some of the most erotic things that Sam's ears had ever heard; things that would have made Lucifer blush.

Once Dean had come Sam moved his body up onto Dean, bringing his cock to Dean's mouth. He wanted those gorgeous, cock-sucking lips wrapped around him again. Dean did as he was instructed and wrapped his lips around Sam's shaft, sliding up and down. Within two minutes flat Sam was writhing above him and coming undone. He grunted loudly as his seed shot out of his cock and hit Dean in the back of the throat. Dean happily swallowed every drop, loving the sweet taste of his baby brother in his mouth.

Once he had come Sam dropped down on the bed, beside Dean, pulling Dean close to him. He wasn't going to allow Dean to pull away from him, so he wrapped his body all around Dean's, letting Dean be the little spoon. "You're so fucking beautiful, Dean." Sam lightly nibbled on Dean's earlobe.

Dean's eyes closed and he savored the moment with Sam. He knew he shouldn't have given in so easily. He knew he should have stood his ground, but it was just such an impossible situation for him. He never felt more complete than when he was with Sam. It was such a shame that in a couple days' time they would know who had done this and would likely have it all reversed. He hoped this wouldn't be his last opportunity to lay like this with Sam. "I love you, Sammy. No matter what happens, I want you to know that."


	27. AUTHOR'S NOTE, PLEASE READ!

CHAPTER 27 AUTHOR'S NOTE!

I just got completely fed up with the lack of communication between gmail and ff so I decided to create a new e-mail account so that I will actually be able to get my reviews….hopefully.

But, it looks like I'm never going to get the reviews that have been sent for chapters 23-26 and therefore I've decided to respond to you guys in here. I'm going to list them by chapter because some of you reviewed all or multiple chapters (which is totally awesome!)

Anyway, here goes:

**Chapter 23**

_~Daku Mauji: _Thank you so much, I am so glad that you liked the chapter! I'm really loving the intensity of the whole thing too! Some of this stuff just kind of happens as I write it and I don't really intend it to be as intense as it turns out. I'm just really glad that you liked it!

_~MrsTripTucker_: I'm sorry that you're worried to find out what is doing this. Obviously at this point you know that an angel **could** have done this, but still don't know whether they did or not. Stay tuned…it's coming up pretty soon here.

You're right; Dean was kinda being an asshole in this chapter. He has a tendency to push people away when things get too tough. Dean thought he was doing the right thing, which I think I translated into the following chapters. I hope I was able to redeem him.

And Sam, yeah…he really keeps things going with them. He really doesn't want Dean to retreat back into himself and be untouchable again; that really motivates him. I enjoy having Sam kind of take charge; it's a nice change of pace.

_~Twinchester Angel_: Sorry that you got all of that stuff at once. I kind of got myself rolling and seem to be on fire with this story right now. I know it can be really hard to get up to date with all the chapters right off the bat and that's no problem. I've started chapter 27, but it probably won't be up until later tonight or tomorrow sometime. It depends on how long it takes me to take care of all of the other fanfiction drama I've been trying to take care of.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the chapter…but just wait to see what's to come. Yes, Sam definitely was the one propelling them through this. It was pretty crazy having Bobby see it all, but I knew I would have to have him face the reality of the situation soon enough. This way seemed slightly less painful than having to have them come out and discuss it all with him.

I'm so glad that you love the angst, cause that seems to be all I know how to write. I don't know what it is, but I never really set out to have so much angst (and I never label the stories that way-maybe I should) but they always end up that way. Lol. Usually though my stories have minds of their own and they just kind of do what they want to do.

You will find out pretty soon if someone is truly responsible for this and what will happen. Bobby is intent on solving this and putting things back to normal, because he's totally uncomfortable with this…afterall he is their only living father-figure. Things might be a tad bit unexpected with what is to come, but don't worry….I have a plan.

Thanks again for the awesome review, I loved it! I'm so glad you're still enjoying the chapters and I hope you'll enjoy the other 3 you have to read. Lol.

Oh, and the whole thank Chuck thing made me laugh. I'm still wondering what they're going to do about Chuck on the show….he's never even been mentioned since….kinda weird if you ask me. He's got to be making an appearance at some point in this season, I just really believe it! I guess we'll see…

**Chapter 24**

_~Blaid_: Thank you so much. I am definitely interested in checking them out! Thanks so much for the review!

_~MrsTripTucker_: hehe, yes demons. They haven't made too many appearances in this story so far. We'll see what's going to happen though...you just never know…

Thanks for the review and I'm so glad that you are excited to find out what happens. I pretty much have it all hashed out but sometimes these big surprises come along and sneak attack even me. Lol. Hopefully the story will continue to go the direction I have in mind. Thanks again!

_~Jay Yates_: Definitely planning to deal with the Lily thing really, really soon. You should know more in chapter 27 and definitely 28. Thanks so much for the review and your interest in the story!

**Chapter 25**

_~MrsTripTucker_: Yes, he did! It was painful to write. Whenever Dean breaks down it's always the most gut-wrenching thing to watch, read or write. I think some of it is just the amazingness that is JENSEN! When I write this I'm seeing him acting it and feeling the emotions that he's feeling….everything Jensen does is brilliant and intense. It is very difficult to write this stuff though because I find myself getting emotional as they do….particularly Dean really.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter. It was nice to break down some of that tough guy routine. It's so hard for him to get past that, even with Sam and even after everything! I think that's pretty Dean-like. The struggle is to break him down in a realistic way that keeps him in character. Hope I accomplished that. I'm so glad that you liked it!

**Chapter 26**

_~Daku Mauji_: So glad you thought the chapter was hot! I really enjoyed writing it too! They're both so insanely sexy that thinking of them together is even sexier. Lol. Thanks for the review!

_~Satyra J_: Lol. Yeah, definitely plan to have Bobby say something about the evening the boys had. Lol. Bobby always has to deal with the crazy things those two do. I too felt bad for Bobby…I hope he had earplugs or something. Lolololol.

I'm so glad that you like the story and think it's really good, that means so much to me! Dean is really insanely stubborn but I'm building up to something…so don't worry! And that line about the cold shower made me giggle a lot! So glad you found it that hot! Lol.

_~allywinchester_: LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your review! I am so honored that you would call this the best story ever. I can't even tell you how much that means to me. It's the reason why I keep fighting to get this story written in a timely manner and fight with ff to post and such. I just love this story and it means so much to me that others love it too! I'm just gushing with happiness over the kindness of your review…I cannot even begin to describe it! Thank you sooooooooooo much!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Things should be better from now on, unless fanfiction can't send the review alerts to Hotmail either….lol.

Oh, I do know how to update the stories for those of you who are interested….

1. When you go to your list of stories, click on the edit button on the right hand corner of the story you want to update.

2. You will get an error message

3. Go up to the url at the top and replace the word "property" with the word "content"

4. You will be on your story content page and be able to add new chapters to the stories you already have posted!

I hope this helps everyone! Thanks again!


	28. Chapter 27

A/N: Thanks for the reviews and for sticking with me through all these awesome fanfiction problems! So, here's chapter 27...it starts out a little bit interesting (with an extremely steamy moment) and then gets more informative. Sorry...there's no Destiel in this chapter...can't bring myself to write that for some reason lol. I also need to apologize because for some reason writing Cas is very difficult for me. If I didn't write him correctly I'm very sorry, it's not my strong suit. Hope you will forgive me on this one! 3 Thanks everyone!

* * *

Chapter 27 – The Cryptic Castiel

Dean was in a lush, beautiful meadow. The birds were chirping, the air was crisp and the sun was shining bright through the trees. It was the most beautiful scene that Dean's eyes had ever beheld. It was breathtaking and as he looked around he couldn't help but feel so small and insignificant.

"Come on Dean," She said.

Dean hadn't known there was a girl with him until he had heard her voice. He looked at her and was surprised at what he saw; she was beautiful, almost as beautiful as the scenery had been moments before. She had this long brown hair, deep blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. Her curves seemed to have curves and he thought he might just die. It took him a second before he was able to find his words. He swallowed hard and smiled at her, "What?"

"You know you want it." She told him, staring at his face intently. "I know you like me." She reached her hand out to take a hold of his and pull him into the woods with her.

He smiled again; oh how he wanted it. He nodded, "Of course I do, but…Sam." Dean's eyes closed instinctively, wishing he didn't have to see the beautiful girl in front of him, looking achingly tempting in her flowing white gown. When he opened his eyes they focused in on a completely different beauty.

Suddenly he was on the side of the road and there, shining in the glorious sunlight, was his baby; that gorgeous Impala that he loved so much. His eyes lit up and a wide grin formed on his face, "Hey there sweetheart, did you miss me?" Dean didn't talk like that to anyone….except his precious baby.

"Dean, come on," Came a much deeper voice from a much taller person.

"Sammy." Dean said, his voice coming out like a whisper.

Sam was leaning against the car as if he had been like that right along and Dean just hadn't noticed before. "We need to go."

The scene changed before Dean's very eyes and suddenly Sammy was washing the car, wearing a soaking wet wife beater and a pair of excruciatingly tight jeans that were growing wetter by the second. He bent over the car and lathered it with soapsuds, turning back quickly to smile at Dean. "Hey there sexy, you like what you see?"

Dean was slack jawed and staring at the image before him. "Oh yeah, baby boy!" He said with a gigantic smile on his face. 'Wait, did those words just come from _my_ mouth?' Dean was confused by himself.

"Come here and let me get you all wet and hard!" Sam purred, ripping the wife beater from his body and shaking his long wet locks out as he flung the ripped cotton to the ground.

'Holy hell!' Dean thought, unable to process what he was seeing.

Suddenly Cas was there. "Dean, I…" Castiel's voice trailed off as he caught sight of the image in front of him.

"Cas, what the hell man, what are you doing here?" Dean asked, staring intently at the angel's face. When he turned his head Sam and the car were gone. It was just him and Cas, looking at each other. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

"The subject of your dreams has changed." Castiel pointed out.

'No shit, Sherlock' Dean wanted to say, but instead he just sighed, "What do you want, Cas?" Dean had enough of all angels, even his favorite one.

"I need you to meet me. We need to talk somewhere safe." Castiel said.

"My mind isn't safe enough?" Dean asked.

"Definitely not."

Well, if that wasn't the most disturbing thing Dean had ever heard in his life. 'Well, shit!' He thought to himself.

"Here, meet me at this address and we can talk." Castiel said as he slipped a piece of paper into Dean's hand.

"What is this about anyway?" Dean asked, reading the note that Cas had placed in his hand.

"The girl…" Cas said, just before he disappeared.

Dean was rolling his eyes one second and sitting up in bed, breathing heavily the next.

Sam bolted right up beside his brother, "What is it?" Sam asked, concerned.

"Cas."

Sam frowned, "What about him?" Sam liked Cas and everything, but he was worried that this had something to do with their situation. He didn't want to do anything to change what they had, even if Bobby and Dean wanted to. Sam was content to never figure out who had done this.

"He wants us to meet him somewhere. I think I remember the place; can you get directions for me?" Dean took a moment to dig back into his brain for the address he had read on the piece of paper, "It's 305 Skylar Ave. I'm assuming it's going to be somewhere nearby."

Sam threw the covers off his completely, stark naked body and crawled out of bed. "Not a problem, Dean. I'll just put it into my computer and see what happens. Did he say why he wanted us to meet him there?"

Dean frowned, "It has something to do with Lily. I don't know what exactly."

"So, he didn't say anything about us?" Sam had to ask, he couldn't help himself.

Dean shook his head, "No, he didn't say much of anything. He's going to talk more when we get there." Dean picked his clothes up off the floor and threw them on. He groaned when he realized that he needed a different shirt because some crazy person had ripped his other one to shreds.

Sam blushed and shrugged as he watched Dean grab another shirt to put on. Sam would have preferred that they stayed naked….in bed…and had woken up touching each other, but he just had to be thankful they had the previous night.

Dean sat down on the bed to tie his boots and then he stood up quickly and grabbed his keys and cell phone from the nightstand. "I'm going to go get Bobby. Meet me in the car in ten."

Sam nodded, as he jotted some directions down on a piece of paper. "Okay." He sighed once Dean was out of earshot. He wasn't looking forward to seeing Bobby again after everything what had gone down, he also wasn't looking forward to having to deal with angels and the topic of what had happened to them. He had to admit thought that he did want to figure out what had happened to the girl and hopefully save her. Killing monsters, saving the girls….that was just what they did.

Dean left their motel room and headed next door to Bobby's, grimacing at the thought of having to face the man after the night before. He knocked on the door and waited; there was no response. Dean knocked a little louder, he didn't exactly want to wake everyone else in the place up, but he really needed Bobby to get up and answer the door.

After what felt like ten minutes of knocking Bobby finally came to the door in his bathrobe. "Dean? What's going on?"

"Cas paid me a visit. He wants us to meet him and I thought you might want to come." Dean looked the man up and down, "But if you'd rather stay here that's okay too."

Bobby put his hand up, "Nothing doing! Just give me five minutes and I'll be ready to go. Did he say what this was about?"

Dean shrugged, "Supposedly it's about Lily, but he couldn't tell me much of anything. We'll find out more when we get there." Dean was tired of trying to explain Castiel's obliviousness to people. He didn't understand why angels couldn't be more like people and just fucking get to the damn point. Why did he have to drag their asses out of bed to meet him at some abandoned pile of crap warehouse just to give them some information?

Bobby closed the door and went about his business as Dean headed over to the Impala to meet Sam.

"Bobby coming?" Sam asked curiously.

Dean nodded, "He just needs a few minutes." Dean groaned, "You know I fucking hate angels most of the damn time. They're so fucking cryptic and they're douchebags." Castiel was definitely Dean's favorite angel, but even Cas had lied to Dean in the past. Cas was sometimes in cahoots with the other angels….a fact that made Dean cringe.

Sam shook his head, "Not Cas. If he has information for us it's because he's trying to help us."

Dean rolled his eyes; leave it to Sam to be so objective. Sam always did like to see the good in people though; tended to get his ass in a butt load of trouble because of it. Dean forced himself to push Ruby from his mind…that bitch didn't deserve his attention. "Yeah, maybe. You just can't be sure whether those angels are working for you or against you."

Sam shrugged, "Try to have a little faith in people once in a while, grumpy pants!"

Maybe Dean was being a bit hard on Cas. The angel had done the right thing by him in the end; telling him the truth about Lilith and the final seal and helping Dean to find Sam as it was going down. Dean smiled, "Is that my new nickname or something?"

"Maybe." Sam smiled back, wanting nothing more than to grab his beautiful big brother and pull him in for a kiss. He was instantly glad that he didn't though, because Bobby chose that moment to walk out to the parking lot.

"You idjits ready?" Bobby asked, not looking at them.

"Yeah, Bobby." Dean said. "Sam's got the directions."

Sam handed Bobby a copy of the directions he had written down. Bobby took the paper from him and looked up into the taller man's eyes for just one moment. Bobby shook his head, "Can't even follow simple instructions."

Sam swallowed hard; he looked away with a blush on his cheeks.

"Well, this is fun!" Dean said, "Now if you two would like to stop trying to avoid an obviously uncomfortable subject and get your asses in gear….there's a girl out there who needs our help. Not to mention an angel who's probably pacing and brooding as we speak." Dean was impatient; he wanted to find out what Cas knew and get the show on the road.

Sam and Bobby split up, both a little too eager to be away from each other, and got into their respective cars. Sam gave Dean a crazy look as he slipped into the car.

Dean got into the driver's seat and started up his baby. "What the hell was that all about?"

"He heard us…"

Dean sighed and shook his head. He was afraid of that. "Gotta get muzzles for crying out loud!"

Sam smiled, "I could gag you and then you'd be quiet."

Dean laughed, "You'd enjoy that way too much."

"So, what's your point?" Sam asked.

Dean shook his head, "I guess I don't have one." He glanced over at the directions on the slip of paper in Sam's lap, taking a moment to check out the rapidly growing erection in Sam's pants for good measure. He slid his hand over and lightly rubbed at it through Sam's jeans.

Sam's eyes widened and he just about jumped out of his seat. "Come on, Dean, you're torturing me!"

Dean smiled, "That's the idea. You spend a good chunk of time trying to torture me…so you can just deal!"

Sam smiled; glad to see Dean taking some initiative in this crazy relationship of theirs. It seemed to Sam that they had made great strides the night before. He just hoped that no angels were going to come into the picture and destroy everything that he had worked so fucking long and hard to establish. Getting through to Dean was like trying to get Edward Cullen to stop sparkling….damn near impossible! "Well, I'm glad to see that you're in a better mood today so far."

"The day is young, Sammy."

Sam smiled, "I'll just have to work extra hard to keep your spirit's up." Sam winked at his older brother, he loved the prospect.

"You're dirty." Dean said with a sly smile.

"You're the one rubbing my cock." Sam pointed out with a chuckle and a moan.

Dean laughed, "Touché." Dean continued to torture Sam until they got to the abandoned warehouse that was apparently safer than Dean's head. The thought still creeped him out to no end….he did not want anyone crawling around in his brain, especially not with the thoughts that were always currently swimming through it.

They got to the building and stepped from their cars, exchanging soulful looks. Sam did his best to adjust his pants in order to make his erection less obvious. They walked into the building and looked around; it was dark, damp and cold.

"It's about time." Castiel said, impatiently.

"What the hell's going on Cas? You said this was about Lily, is she alright? Do you know who took her?"

"Yes." Castiel said, matter-of-factly.

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Well, were you planning on telling us or just undressing us with your eyes?"

"Dean!" Sam said, trying hard to resist the urge to smile. This relationship of theirs made him want to laugh at Dean's dumb jokes. Sam had to remind himself that he was still Sam Wichester, king of the bitch-face (as Dean always said) and he had to play his role.

"Zachariah." Castiel said, "It was Zachariah."

Dean eyes widened, "Zachariah has Lily?"

"Yes." Castiel said, growing impatient.

"Why the hell would he want her? And what about the sulfur, how does that factor in?" Dean asked.

Sam interjected then, stating the answer as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "It was a trap…for you."


	29. Chapter 28

A/N: I want to thank everyone again for reading and reviewing...you guys are awesome! I'm sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter than most of the others. I had planned to put everything that will be in this chapter and chapter 29 into one chapter, but it would have been really long so I decided to break it down. At least I can get this out sooner than I would have otherwise. I'm also sorry that it's been a few days since I last updated. I am sure that I will get a few more chapters out this week. I have to pretty huge things in store for this story!

I'm nearing the end of the story, but there are still a few more chapters...you never know...might turn out to be more than I'm thinking right now. I hope you all continue to enjoy the chapters and the direction that I decide to take this story.

Again, Castiel is in this chapter and I apologize for any awkwardness with his character. I think it's somewhat better in this one, but it's still rough for me to write. I also want to apologize because I did steal a few quotes from the show on this one...one of them is extremely memorable and everyone will recognize it when they come to it! With all that said, though, I hope you enjoy the chapter and keep checking back for updates. I've started the next one, but have quite a bit to still write on that one. That probably won't be out for a couple of days, because I'm going to be gone pretty much all day tomorrow.

Thanks again! Love you guys!

* * *

Chapter 28 – Some Thievery from the Show

Dean was beyond pissed. In fact, he wasn't sure if he'd ever been this angry in his entire life. How dare the angels use a nice, innocent girl to get to him? "What the hell, Cas?"

Sam raised his eyebrows, "Come on, Dean!" It didn't really seem to matter what their relationship was at the time, Sam was pretty much outraged at the way that Dean went about talking to people...or angels. Sure, most of them were dicks, but Castiel had always been one of the good ones and had tried so hard to help them.

"No Sam, _you_ come on!" Dean yelled at his little brother. He wasn't really mad at Sam, he just found himself taking his frustrations out on him. Why was Sam trying to stand in the way of Dean's backlash at Castiel? He shrugged it off and quickly turned his attention back to the angel, "What was the damn hold up, Cas, she's been gone for about a week now? Why am I just hearing about this now?"

The angel glared at Dean, annoyed and frustrated. "I know that you are angry, Dean, but I was just informed about this. I alerted you as soon as I knew about it."

Dean folded his arms over his chest, "How the hell is that possible? You're a fucking angel, Cas!"

Sam looked at his brother shocked, "Dean, you shouldn't talk to him like that."

"For once I agree with your brother." Castiel grabbed onto Dean's shirt and glared right into his eyes, "In case you hadn't noticed I don't have all the powers that I used to have…because I decided to help _you_!"

Dean flinched and a look of fear appeared in his eyes. Castiel wasn't really one to tango with when he was pissed. Dean sighed in surrender, "Look, I'm sorry, okay? But, why the hell do your angel buddies always try to dick with me?" He immediately felt stupid for reacting the way he had, but that was just how Dean was; shoot first, ask questions later.

Castiel sighed, "I am not in cahoots with Zachariah, as you should know by now. I'm not always informed of what he is doing." Castiel let go of Dean, angrier at the situation than at Dean.

"Cas, I'm sorry. I just haven't heard one peep from you in months. Where the hell have you been?"

"I've been busy, Dean. My life does not revolve around your existence, you know." Castiel had learned a lot of things from Dean Winchester; how to talk back to people and give them sass was definitely one of those things. He had learned a butt-load of other things including some of his "people skills", though Castiel would have to admit that Dean might not have been the best teacher about the ways of the world.

"Is she alright? Where is she? Where did he take her? And, what the fuck does that dickhead want?" Dean sputtered off questions, getting angrier with every word.

Castiel held up his hand, "One thing at a time, Dean. She is probably rather frustrated but as far as I know he has not been harmed in any way."

Dean let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. "Thank God for small favors." He said, rolling his eyes. He was really glad that she was alright, but did they really have to kidnap her and hold her hostage for a week? He looked back at Castiel, expectantly, waiting for him to answer his other questions.

"Zachariah took her to the room where he took you." Castiel explained.

Dean rolled his eyes, "The beautiful room? How the hell am I supposed to find that?" It was obvious to him now that this all had been a trap to try and coerce him into saying yes to Michael.

Dean wanted to ask the angel more questions, hell he wanted to be angry again, but Bobby-the voice of reason, who had remained quiet up until this point-stepped into the conversation. "Of course we want to know about the girl, but we would also like to know if you know anything about their current situation."

Castiel cocked his head to the side, unsure of exactly what Bobby was asking him. "Which situation is that?"

Bobby rolled his eyes and pointed his finger back and forth between the two brothers, "Their feelings for each other." Bobby made a disgusted face; he really did not understand the whole thing. Sam and Dean had never been like this before; in fact before this Dean would have punched Sam in the face for just looking at him 'like that.'

Dean looked away, mortified and finding it very hard to meet the angel's intense and questioning expression. For the life of him, Dean would never understand why Castiel always looked at him as if he was trying to see straight through him. He knew that the angel didn't mean anything by it, and was rather socially awkward, but Dean always found the situation extremely uncomfortable.

Castiel looked (more like stared) at the brothers, trying to assess the damages. "I did hear some whispers…"

Sam cringed, "Bobby found out that angels have the power to do this, is that true?"

Castiel nodded, "Angels have the power to do almost anything."

Dean contemplated that statement. "Never a truer statement uttered." He mumbled for no one in particular to hear. The angels seemed to be able to do anything they fucking wanted to; pulling people out of hell, sending people back in time, killing people, resurrecting people…you name it and Dean would bet a shitload of money that they could do it.

Bobby moved closer to the angel, irritation evident on his face, "Well, what we need to know is if an angel _did_ do this?"

"I don't know." Castiel said matter-of-factly.

Dean stepped closer, "You don't know?" Dean wanted to lash out at Castiel again; his frustration just knew no bounds. He wanted to put Castiel in a choke hold until he told him something valuable, but he knew that would do him absolutely no good. He just couldn't understand how one angel couldn't know what the others were doing since they could all practically read each other's minds. If nothing else they seemed to be able to hear all the voices from Heaven no matter where they were. If this was truly an angel doing this then how was it possible that Castiel, another angel, wouldn't know about it? As much as Dean wanted to react, he just stood there with his arms folded over his chest, awaiting Castiel's response.

"Must I go through this again; I do not seem to know as much as I used to? They leave me in the dark because of what I did."

"All you did was try to help me keep the apocalypse from starting." Dean pointed out.

"Exactly." Castiel frowned, "That left a bitter taste in the mouths of many of my brothers and sisters."

"Well, that's just too damn bad, now isn't it? They need to just fucking get over it! I thought you were kind of a big cheese anyway, why don't you have more authority?" Dean asked, impatiently. He knew he was being a hardcore dick, something he often did when he was frustrated, confused or uncomfortable, but he just couldn't find it in himself to give a rat's ass.

Castiel stared at Dean again, like he had grown three heads this time, "I cannot tell you anymore about your situation, the only thing that I know about for sure is the girl."

"Can you take us to her?" Sam asked. He just wanted to do what he could do and get this whole conversation over with. He hated the way the two other men were staring at him and Dean, like they were monkeys at the zoo.

Dean piped up at this point, "Where the hell is that room anyway?"

"California. It's only a couple of hours away by car." Castiel explained.

"Really?" Dean asked, perplexed.

"Where did you think it was?" Castiel asked.

Dean shrugged, "I don't know, Jupiter or a blade of grass."

Sam smiled at his brother; he couldn't help it, he found him endearing. "It really doesn't matter where it is, the questions still remains; can you take us there?"

Castiel nodded, "Yes, but there will be guards there; quite a few of them in fact."

Dean shrugged, "Do you have your angel knife, sword thingy?" Dean silently cursed himself for his eloquent way with words. What the hell was that stupid weird looking, shiny thing called again?

"Yes, I have my archangel's blade." Castiel replied.

Dean nodded, "Good, we'll use that." He started to head for the door.

Sam looked at Dean, perplexed, "Where are you going? Cas is going to zap us there."

"Like hell he is. The last time he zapped me somewhere I didn't poop for a week." He looked Sam right in the eyes, "We're driving."

Sam choked back a laugh; he knew his brother was serious about the effects of the angel powers but he also found everything Dean said to be adorable as hell lately. He knew he was royally screwed that he found Dean so damn charming (and adorable); Dean would take advantage of that and milk it for all it was worth!

Castiel sighed, "Very well, but I'm going with you." He would rather have taken them there immediately; patience wasn't really an angelic virtue, but he tried his best to put himself in the place of a human and understand what it must be like for them. It was nice to have the powers and to be an angel, but sometimes he wished he could be human and travel the country with the crazy Winchester brothers and raise a little hell for a change. Oh well, he was in enough hot water with his family as it was, he didn't need to go adding to it.

Bobby smiled, "You might rather ride shotgun with me."

Castiel cocked his head to the side; he wasn't entirely sure he understood what the expression meant. "Is that a good thing?"

Bobby nodded, "If it means not having to be too close to Adam and Steve over there, then it's a very good thing!" Sure, he still loved Dean and Sam like they were his own, but he was entirely too uncomfortable with their current situation. He definitely did not want to watch them grope each other in the car and he assumed that Castiel might not enjoy that either, but hell…you just never know.


	30. Chapter 29

A/N: Okay, so this totally did not turn out the way I intended for it to. This is really far from what my plans were, but it kind of just kept unraveling like this. I apologize if it seems like I've gone over the deep end...I'm not even sure I like this chapter. It's like a crazy conglomeration of all kinds of different things. But, don't worry, it will make a lot more sense in the next chapter. I decided to take stuff that was supposed to take like 3 chapters to hash out and do it totally differently and get it done in 1 chapter. There is a connection between the Lily thing, the guards outside and Sam and Dean's 'situation'. I hope you guys like this, or at least don't want to kill me...that would be nice. :)

I'm sorry that it took me so long to get this out. I had a hard time with this one. I originally intended to have a big angel/angel fighting chapter, but so much of it was so similar to the end of season 5 when Zachariah took Adam to the beautiful room and tried to trap Dean into saying yes in "Point of No Return" (Episode 5.18). I didn't want to keep stealing from the show so I came up with something different...and it is VERY different.

I might still change it if I decide I hate it or if you guys don't like it. So, don't worry, if I've lost you on this one...the story is still a work in progress. Thanks again to all of you who have been reading and reviewing so loyally. Hope you don't jump ship at this point...

* * *

Chapter 29 – Rescuing Lily

About a half hour later, while Sam and Dean were in the car, Dean finally spoke up about some things that were on his mind. "This whole thing pisses me off."

Sam smiled, "I think that was pretty obvious." Any idiot could have figured out that Dean wasn't very happy. The man had practically ripped Cas a new one and then had driven in complete silence for a half hour; yeah…Dean was slightly upset.

"You just don't understand. It's one thing to do things to me in order to dick with me, but it's another thing to bring innocent people into this. That douche-nozzle's gotta pay." There was just no way that this was okay. Dean just couldn't believe that this mook was one of God's angels; fighting on the good side, not with all the shady things he did on a regular basis.

Sam nodded, "I agree with you; he was really out of line, but what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet." Dean said. It was the truth. Sure, up until now Zachariah had only been a hardcore thorn in his side, but he had never done anything to warrant Dean's wrath. He wasn't sure how he wanted to handle this situation, but he had some creative ideas in mind. "You just never know what I'm going to do when I see that ugly bastard's face.

Sam smiled, "Long as you don't kiss him, I don't care."

Dean grimaced and shuddered, "Why the hell would I do that? I've tried to tell you that Chad asshole was wrong about me…I'm not gay, Sam."

Sam shrugged, "Well, you seem at least bisexual when you're begging me to take your pants off!"

Dean blushed, uncomfortable. "Well, that's different." He didn't say anything for a few minutes and then picked up the subject where he had left off, "Besides, even if I was gay, I wouldn't get anywhere near that a-hole."

Sam laughed, "Yeah, I kind of don't even want to picture you naked in that situation, that's how awkward and disturbing it is."

Dean shuttered, "Sam, shut up, okay?" He laughed, "I'm glad Cas decided to ride with Bobby."

Sam raised his eyebrow, "Why, what do you have in mind?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter." Dean laughed, "I just meant that the current subject of conversation would have been out of the realm of awkward if Cas was sitting in the back seat." Dean shook his head, imagining Castiel sitting back there, confused and perplexed and asking them questions about what goes where.

Sam laughed, "Like we would be talking about it if he was in the backseat."

Dean shrugged," You just never know what you're going to bring up. You have been pretty crazy lately."

"Just when it comes to you, Dean." Sam admitted.

Dean smiled, flattered as all hell, "Yeah Sammy, I haven't exactly been my usual self when it comes to you either."

"You still set on finding a way out of this?" Sam asked, sobering up.

Dean frowned, "It's not like that, Sam, I just want what we have to be real. If it's not real then I'd rather have what is real. I've always been like that; it shouldn't come as any big shock to you now." He pointed out.

Sam nodded, "I know. I just can't help but feel like I don't want to know if we are being manipulated. For the most part I would rather not fix it."

"For real? I mean, I know you like the arrangement we have going on and everything…that's not what I mean. But, seriously, you'd willingly sign up to go through life like a ventriloquist's dummy while someone else has their arm up your ass, manipulating everything you think and say?"

Sam shrugged, he hadn't really thought of it that way. "I don't know, Dean. It's just that this thing between us is just about the most real of anything I've ever had in my life. I find it hard to believe that we're being played."

Dean did something that shocked both he and Sam in that moment; he reached his hand over and slipped it into Sam's. Dean wasn't exactly the sharing and caring type, but he did love his brother and he did feel the vulnerability of the words that Sam was saying to him.

Sam looked into Dean's eyes then, feeling them filling up with tears. It was such a simple gesture; something so trivial in the scheme of life, but it was the perfect thing for Dean to do. Being affectionate with Sam showed him that it was more than a sexual attraction; it was something deep and emotional…the way it was for Sam. "I just can't believe that you don't feel it too."

"I do, Sammy. I really, really do, I just want to make sure that it's real. I don't know any simpler a way to put it than that."

Sam nodded, "I understand, I really do."

Dean looked down at their joined hands; both big and both calloused from all the years of abuse, but they felt good together like that. No matter what happened to them, Dean knew deep inside of himself that he would never love anyone the way he loved Sam, it just wasn't possible.

An hour and a half later they pulled up outside of an abandoned warehouse and got out of their cars. Dean furrowed his brow and looked over at Cas, "This is where the beautiful room is?" He couldn't believe that a room like that could be located in that dump.

Castiel smiled, "Angels are very powerful, Dean. They can do many, many things."

"Like making people think they want each other." Bobby threw in for good measure.

Dean wanted to tell Bobby to keep his nose out of it, because he knew it would upset Sam, but he just ignored the older man. He knew Bobby was just trying to help and also keep them grounded in the reality of what they were going to face sooner or later.

Castiel took a step forward, heading for the door to the warehouse. He turned back around to the group of hunters behind him. "Let me go in first. You are no match for the guards."

"How many are there?" Dean wanted to know. There were four of them; maybe they could do something to help the situation.

"Five." Castiel explained to the older Winchester.

Dean worried his brow, "Cas, that's like suicide. You can't take on five guards all by yourself." He took a step towards the angel, "We have a blade or two in the trunk, let us help you."

Castiel looked into Dean's eyes and saw the defiance there. He knew Dean would not sit back and wait while Castiel signed his life away. He nodded then, looking back and forth between all three of them, "But, you stay behind me and do as I say."

"Your wish is my command." Dean said with a smile.

Sam frowned at his brother, rolling his eyes. "It's like a freaking fangirl paradise around here."

Castiel cocked his head to the side, "I don't understand that reference."

Dean shook his head, "Consider that a good thing, Cas." He almost laughed at the confused look on the angel's face but then remembered the seriousness of the situation.

Castiel shrugged and turned to the entrance of the beat up, worn out building. He walked quickly into the building and looked around. The angel's brow furrowed in confusion; where were the guards? The place was dead silent.

From behind Castiel, Dean asked, "Doesn't it seem a little bit too quiet in here to you, Cas?"

Castiel spun around and faced the oldest Winchester. He nodded, "Yes, it does seem as though Zachariah has a flare for the dramatic." Castiel didn't understand where the guards were. Maybe he had learned the information wrong or maybe someone had manipulated him.

"It's pretty bad when you can't even trust angels." Sam muttered, feeling dejected once again that the things he used to believe in so strongly had turned out to be something that he could no longer have faith in.

Castiel cocked his head to the side, listening, "I'm going to go around to the other side, you stay here."

Dean frowned; he really did not want to just leave Castiel to be killed at the hands of the guard. "I don't have a good feeling about this, Cas."

Castiel walked to where he was out of the hunters' line of vision. Bobby looked at the boys, "I'll draw a sigil in case we need it."

Sam nodded, "Okay Bobby, just be careful."

Dean folded his arms, "Well, I'm not going to just stand here with my junk in my hand while I should be helping Cas."

Sam smiled; Dean had such a way with words. Sam looked at Bobby and the older man nodded in return. Of course Sam was going to follow his brother and they all knew it.

"Just be careful." Bobby said to both brothers.

"You too, Bobby." Dean replied.

Sam followed closely behind Dean as they followed after Castiel. They took about ten steps forward and heard a loud crash. They began to run in the direction of the noise. When they got there they discovered Castiel's body in a heap on the floor, with a burly looking guard dude standing over him.

"Hey Chuckles!" Dean exclaimed.

The big guy turned around and looked at Dean, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you." Dean said, slipping his blade into his brother's hand. He walked forward, intending to distract the guard. "You know, I don't understand why you douchebags don't pick better looking dudes to wear." He looked the man up and down, "You're fugly!"

The man quickly approached Dean, wrapping his hands tightly around the eldest Winchester's neck. "He said I wasn't supposed to kill you, but I can certainly slap you around a little bit."

"I don't think so!" Sam exclaimed as he drilled the blade into the man's back, right through the heart. He backed up and the man fell to the floor.

Dean looked at the body carefully; there was something off about this whole thing, he just didn't know what it was that was bothering him. He let it go quickly and went over to Castiel, helping him to his feet.

Castiel shook his head, "He was not supposed to be here."

"Who was that guy?" Dean asked.

"I have no idea." Castiel replied back.

"How is that possible, I thought all the angels knew each other?" Sam asked.

"He wasn't an angel."

Sam and Dean exchanged soulful looks and Dean scratched his head. "What the fuck is going on around here?"

"I think there's really only one person responsible…" Castiel was cut off by the sound of someone crashing into a wall.

"Bobby!" Dean exclaimed. He knew he should never have left him alone; what the hell were they thinking? They were so busy trying to keep an angel from dying that they forgot to protect the human!

The three men (well, two men and an angel) ran over to where Bobby had been creating the sigil out of his blood in order to banish the angels and they found the man slumped on the floor, unmoving. "Bobby!" Dean exclaimed again, rushing to his side. He felt for a pulse and looked up at his brother, shaking his head. "Son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed. He wanted to cry, scream or beg the angels to fix the man, but in the moment all he could think to do was swear.

"I'm sorry about your friend, but you two need to get inside." Castiel reminded them.

"What about the asshole that did this? I'm sure he'll be back." Dean asked, worried.

Castiel looked Dean square in the eyes, "I can take care of him. You need to save the girl…"

Sam and Dean locked eyes again, both seeing fear and grief in the other's eyes. "He's right, Dean."

"But, Bobby…" Dean's voice trailed off.

Sam gave his brother a sympathetic smile, "I know, Dean, trust me I do, but we can't let something happen to the girl too."

Dean nodded; they had come into this to save Lily and that was what he intended to do. Dean followed Sam to the entrance to the beautiful room, which looked like a giant piece of crap from the outside. Just before they stepped into the room they heard a very loud noise. They exchanged looks again, both hoping that Castiel was alright. They couldn't afford to lose anyone else.

They opened the door and walked in. Dean recognized the place immediately; it looked just like it did the last time he was there, right down to the burgers and beers. Dean barely had a second to check out the décor, before Sam looked at him perplexed and asked, "Where is she?" The room was completely empty.

"Zachariah better not be boning me again, I hate that asshole!" Dean was so pissed off that it felt like steam was going to ooze from his ears.

Suddenly they heard a noise and there was a voice behind them. "Dean! What are you doing here?"

Dean spun around, "We're here to rescue you."

Sam's jaw hit the floor. He looked over at his brother and noticed that Dean didn't seem to have much of a reaction at all. He wondered if his brother had been kidnapped by aliens, but turned his attention back to the conversation.

Lily laughed, "Why would I need to be rescued; I'm with angels?"

Sam tapped his brother on the arm and whispered in his ear, "Was she dressed like that when you went out with her?"

It was then that Dean got a good look at what she was wearing. He wondered if maybe he was turning gay or something because how in the fuck could he have missed that? 'You are so not on top of your game, Dean!' He silently berated himself. The girl standing before him was dressed in a red lace negligée, matching thigh high stockings and blatant fuck-me pumps.

Dean almost choked at the sight before him and he noticed that Sam seemed pretty much equally distracted by the sight. He would have to address that whole thing later; he knew there would be some things to talk about, but for the time being he had to reel in his tongue so that he could hopefully try to figure out what the hell was going on. He desperately tried to force his northern brain to do the thinking for him. As soon as he was able to collect himself he said, "I know that most people think of angels as fat babies in diapers playing harps, but these guys…they're a lot different from that. In fact, in my experience, most of them are dicks." Well, if that wasn't the fucking God's honest truth then Dean didn't know what was. Getting angry over the damn angels was a nice distraction from the almost-naked girl in front of him.

She looked at him sympathetically and stood up, walking toward him. She gently placed her hand on Dean's chest, looking up into his eyes. Dean's eyes focused on the hand that was touching her, before he gave her body another once over and settled on her eyes again. She looked at him with those deep eyes that he could get lost in, "It must be so hard to be you, Dean. You have so much on your shoulders, so many worries; your brother, avenging the deaths of your parents, the whole Heaven and Hell/Michael and Lucifer thing and now there's this thing between you and Sam. I don't envy the situation you're going through."

Sam looked at his brother, his eyebrow raised. Dean didn't open up and share this kind of stuff with anyone, why her? He also didn't like how overly friendly she seemed to be with him; who the hell did she think she was touching his brother in front of him? He didn't know whether he should be jealous or painfully turned on as he looked at her. He wouldn't mind taking her himself, but the thought of Dean with her...that was just too much for him to handle.

It took Dean a moment to process what was happening, "How do you know this stuff about me?" Dean hadn't told the girl half of the stuff that she was talking about, it was really perplexing to him. "And for that matter, where the hell is Zachariah? Oh, and for shits and giggles, why are you dressed like a Victoria's Secret model? Not that I mind…" His voice trailed off.

Lily stared up into his face for a second before responding, "You know, for a hunter who's been around the block a few times, you sure aren't very quick. I'm not who you think I am, Dean." She looked up into his eyes and he looked back. He took a few seconds to run the events of everything over again in his mind, while looking into those eyes…those piercing eyes of hers…and suddenly he understood exactly what was going on.


	31. Chapter 30

A/N: Thanks everyone for the amazing reviews! I'm so glad that the last chapter was received so well! I hope you will all enjoy this chapter as well. I hope that everyone's questions will be answered in this one. Let me know if anyone still has any questions that I might have failed to hash out. Thank you again for reading and reviewing!

I cannot wait to find out what you think of this one! I love you all!

* * *

Chapter 30 - Trapped

Sam looked over at Dean expectantly, "Okay Dean, the suspense is killing me. Who is she?"

Dean barely glanced at Sam, not wanting to take his eyes from the figure in front of him. "She's no one."

Sam raised his eyebrow, "What the hell are you saying? Just spit it out!"

"She's no one; she isn't real!" Dean exclaimed, so tired of being played for a fool.

Sam was stunned, what the hell? How could this girl not be real?

Lily smiled, "Not bad for someone with a G.E.D. But don't worry, darling, I didn't make it too easy on you. I felt pretty real, didn't I?"

Sam turned to glare at Dean; what the fuck was she talking about? Had Dean lied to him when he told him that he hadn't slept with her?

Dean grabbed his brother's arm and started to pull him from the room. "Come on, Sam."

Sam was resistant at first and then began to process the seriousness of the situation. Their drama would have to wait until later. He allowed Dean to pull him from the room. Dean turned back once they were in the room and looked at her form with such sad eyes that Sam felt bad for having been so mad at him. It always broke Sam's heart when Dean looked like a shattered little boy who had just lost his puppy.

Dean felt like an idiot. How had he not been able to tell before? Did he have his head stuck so far up his brother's ass that he had totally dropped the ball? He could never allow himself to be played like that again. He had cared about her, deeply; he had willingly put himself in danger to protect her and had agonized over her kidnapping. 'You just can't trust people, Dean' he told himself, feeling the pain in his heart.

The brothers watched as Lily faded and disappeared before their eyes. Sam shook his head; it was a shame that someone that attractive wasn't real. They turned around to leave again and heard a flutter behind them…Dean knew who it was; he just didn't want to turn around and face him.

Dean was afraid that he would follow them, would trap them…like he liked to do, but just as quickly as he had shown up, he was gone in a blinding white light that Sam and Dean recognized all too well.

Cas appeared in the doorway, "All I can do is stall this for a few minutes, we need to go."

Dean didn't say anything in response, he just nodded and continued to guide his brother from the room and out to the place where Bobby's body lay.

Sam looked at the angel then, "Cas, can you fix him?"

Castiel shook his head, sadly, "No, I'm sorry. I have limited powers and that is one thing that I cannot do."

"Damn it Cas!" Dean exclaimed, finally finding his words, "What the hell, man? How could you not know what was really going on here? This is wrong…so fucking wrong."

Castiel looked into Dean's eyes sadly. The angel knew that Dean was right on this one. Castiel had always been there to keep the brothers informed of the details on heaven's side, but he wasn't able to do that this time. He had been fooled, just like they had. "I'm sorry, Dean."

Sam tugged at Dean's arm, "We should go."

Dean nodded, "Yes, but we are coming back. I'm going to get what we need to take this thing down and we're coming back." He looked straight into Castiel's eyes, wanting the angel to understand what this all meant.

Castiel nodded, he knew that Dean was serious; he had that look in his eye. "How can I help?"

"Well, for starters you could carry Bobby out to his truck. I'm certainly not going to leave his body here." Dean told his angel friend.

Castiel nodded and did as he was told. He hoisted Bobby's limp body over his shoulder and the Winchester brothers followed him out of the abandoned warehouse.

* * *

An hour later they had rented a motel room, laid Bobby down on one of the beds and Castiel had left to get some of the supplies together that they needed. Dean was pacing up and down the length of the motel room floor.

Sam, exasperated, looked up at his brother from the unoccupied bed, "Dean, come on, stop pacing!"

"I can't. This all has to go according to plan or this nightmare will never end!" Dean exclaimed, a hell of a lot louder than he had intended to.

Sam reacted as if he had been slapped. "I don't really think our situation is all that bad."

"Everything is screwed up, Sam. Everything! Now that I know what's going on I can't even entertain the idea of 'us'." He knew that saying this would hurt Sam, but there just wasn't much he could do about that; it was going to be over soon and that was all Dean knew for sure.

Sam jumped up from the bed and lunged at Dean, gripping at his shirt forcefully, "Don't make me fucking punch you in the face!"

Dean did a double take; Sam very rarely talked to him like that. Generally he was amped up on demon blood when he got like that. "Sam, come on…you know what this all means."

Sam sighed and let Dean go, "Yes, I do. I also know that we lost Bobby, I don't want to lose you too."

Dean softened, "You're not going to lose me, Sam. I'll still be here…as your brother; just like I've always been."

Sam was growing tired of this same conversation; he felt like they had it at least every hour now. He was never going to make Dean see his side of the thing and he wasn't sure what made him keep fighting so hard. He understood Dean's perspective, he really did, but he just didn't care that it 'wasn't real'. If this thing between them wasn't real then he didn't want real; he didn't want anything but Dean.

Dean met his brother's eyes, "Oh and before you ask me about what Lily said…I did not have sex with her. I told you before that I made out with her, that's what she was talking about, so you don't have to worry about that. I'd never lie about something like that."

Sam nodded, relieved. It honestly upset him more than he could have lied to him than that he might have shacked up with some chick that turned out to not even be real. "Thank you for being honest with me, Dean, it means a lot to me." Sam moved closer to Dean and affectionately ran his fingertips over Dean's cheek. Dean's eyes closed and he leaned in to Sam's touch, his body reacting to the touch, despite what his brain wanted.

Dean sighed and forced Sam's hand from his face, "Sam, please don't." It was like torture for Dean, Sam had no idea how much this was killing him, and he wasn't about to let him know.

Sam seethed, "Stop it, Dean!" He grabbed onto Dean again and pulled him toward him, their faces achingly close together. Sam stared right into those deep green eyes before moving closer to capture Dean's soft lips with his own.

Tears burned in Dean's eyes, 'this is not fucking happening, Dean, you cannot start blatting like a girl right now.' He pulled away and forced the tears back into his head. "Knock it off!"

"No, Dean-" Sam began, but was cut off by the sound of fluttering behind them.

Dean met Castiel's eyes and Cas found a pleading there that he'd never seen from Dean before. Sam quickly let go of Dean's shirt and moved away from his brother. "Did you get the supplies?" Sam asked the angel, trying to change the subject.

Castiel nodded, "I got exactly what you told me to get." He said, looking right into Dean's eyes. "I still don't think this is a bad plan."

Dean shook his head, "We tried doing things your way and that didn't work. So, now we're going to do things my way!" Dean had a plan that he was sure was right; it just had to be!

* * *

An hour later the brothers were back in that abandoned warehouse, without Castiel. Dean had refused to let Cas join them, believing wholeheartedly that having the angel there could thwart the plan. He needed this to go over without a hitch so that they could defeat this asshole once and for all.

Sam laid a blanket down on the dirty floor and then the brothers dragged Bobby's body into the room and laid it down on the floor, ready for that part of the plan. Dean was determined to reverse Bobby's situation. He had given his life for this whole foolish fiasco and Dean intended to get it back.

They took the time to set everything up, getting ready for the epic plan that Sam had his doubts about. He wanted to have faith that Dean was right about this, but he just wasn't sure. It seemed as though they got screwed no matter what they did, so why should it matter anyway?

"Okay, I think we're ready." Dean announced, as he finished adding the last of the ingredients to the summoning ritual.

"Are you sure we should have used this ritual? Shouldn't we have done this differently?"  
Sam asked.

Dean shook his head, "No, this way is better; it will keep him off our scents a little bit." Dean explained.

Sam had to admit that Dean did have a point. Playing dumb seemed to be the best way to go about it.

Dean recited the words that he needed to say to complete the ritual and then they did the only thing left to do; wait. Dean grew increasingly more impatient by the second. He looked over at Sam and rolled his eyes, where the hell was this fucker anyway?

Sam raised his eyebrows, hearing the sting of profanity that he knew was running through his brother's mind. He smiled to himself, thinking that it was somewhat possible that he spent just a touch too much time with Dean. 'Nah,' he thought, he didn't really mind the time that he spent with the man, not really.

They were both lost in thought; one brooding and the other fantasizing, when they finally discovered that they were not alone in the room. "Boys, boys, boys," he said, "We have already been through this."

Dean smiled, relieved that he had gotten the damn trickster asshole to show up after all. "Yeah, well, you know…we just can't quite get enough of you."

The jolly dude smiled wide, "That's very flattering, Dean." He moved closer, effectively moving right to where Dean had hoped he would. "Now, I know why I'm here and I told you before that I didn't do this. Tricksters are not powerful enough to pull off something like this."

Dean raised his eyebrows, "That may be true." He flicked his lighter until he saw a small, orange flame. Once the lighter was lit he tossed it toward the floor, igniting fire in the shape of a ring right around the asshole responsible. "But, I happen to know that angels can."

"Holy fire." He said.

"That's right. See, we know what you are." Dean folded his arms over his chest, "Besides being a tool…you're also an angel on the side."

"Okay, I'm impressed, I have to admit it."

Dean looked the angel right in the face, "Which one are you?"

"Gabriel." The angel admitted.

Dean was shocked. He raised his eyebrow, "The archangel?"

"In the flesh." Gabriel answered, the stupid smile gone from his face.

Sam interjected then, "Why would you want to make us think that Zachariah was behind the kidnapping?"

"Simple; it was the easiest way for me to get your asses back here."

"So, everything has just been an elaborate hoax?" Dean asked.

The angel shrugged, "Most of it, yes." He went on to explain, "Real town, real bar, I just planted you in the middle of it all."

"So it was just the bartender who wasn't real?" Dean asked, anger and frustration evident in his voice.

"I may have planted a couple of people in the mix to guide you along. You two are more stubborn than anyone I have ever met." He explained.

"What about Matt?" Sam asked.

"I'm afraid he wasn't real either."

Sam frowned, "That's great, we love making friends who turn out to be fictional characters in some asshole's fairytale." That was it, Sam was pissed. "I guess I should be thankful that you made him be a good guy who saved my ass from being beaten up by some assholes who also probably weren't real."

"What is the matter with you, asshole?" Dean asked and exclaimed.

"You shouldn't talk to an angel that way." Gabriel said.

"I don't give a shit!" Dean exclaimed, "You probably shouldn't fuck with our lives, but you continue to do that on a daily basis!"

"This was no not about messing up your lives." The angel explained.

Sam decided to bite before Dean, "Well, then what was it about then?"

"Your destinies." The angel explained.

"What?" Dean asked. "You did all of this because of Lucifer and Michael?"

"Of course."

"Why, were they incestuous brothers too?" Dean asked angrily.

Sam piped up with, "What is your role in all of this? Whose side are you on anyway?"

Gabriel shook his head, "I'm not on either side." He waved his hand in the air, "This world…it's my father's creation and so are the people in it. I can't stand the idea of all of this being destroyed. It doesn't matter what side wins chaos and destruction will go with the territory."

Dean shook his head, "You don't want the battle?"

"No, definitely not." He explained, "I rather enjoy this world."

"Or maybe you just enjoy dicking with the people in it." Dean said, irritated.

"I deserve that, I do." The angel said, holding up his hand, "But, let me explain. The reason why I did all of this to you is because I had hoped that you would find happiness together and would never say yes to either of them."

"That's stupid!" Dean said, "Neither of us is going to say yes anyway."

"Yes you are." The angel said, "I know how this is supposed to play out. I had to do my job to stop it from happening."

"Doing something like this…it's just cruel. The things we've been through…emotionally…that's more than anyone could ever ask someone to go through. Our lives and our feelings for each other are nobody's business but ours!" Sam exclaimed.

"You can't play with people's lives just because you're unhappy with your own. This whole thing…this is about your family; your brothers. Sam and I, we're just humans. We're humans who find ourselves buried in a shitload of drama from both sides at every turn, but we're still just humans, just brothers. We're just trying to do the right things here, trying to help save some people and do what our dad would have wanted us to do. We don't do any of this for God or Lucifer or you assholes, we do it for people; people who can't do it for themselves. What you are doing is wrong and has made us worse hunters; we cannot do our job like this. You need to stop dicking with our lives and put everything back to the way it was!" Dean exclaimed, feeing the weight on his shoulders diminish a little bit. It felt good to get some of this off his chest; to stand up against the authorities who had set out to destroy him.

Sam was very sad. He knew that Dean was right, underneath it all, but he still kind of wanted to things to stay the same between them. He loved loving Dean; feeling Dean's mouth against his own and his body against his. He loved everything that went with loving his brother, even if he didn't understand it most of the time.

Dean looked at his brother then, he seemed so sad. He hated what all of this was going to do to them when it was changed back. Could they go on with their lives as just brothers while knowing what had happened between them? Was this something that they could live with or would it destroy them? He didn't want that to happen; he didn't want to lose the person he loved most in the whole world. No, it was more than that, he_ couldn't_ lose him; he didn't think he could survive through that. "I'm so sorry, Sam." He whispered. Then he grabbed a hold of Sam's arm and he started to pull him away from the trapped angel, standing within the burning ring. "Let's go, Sam."

Gabriel spoke up, "Wait, guys! You're just going to leave me here?"

Dean shrugged, "I'm sure it'll burn out eventually."

"Wait!" Gabriel exclaimed, causing the brothers to turn around and look at him, "What can I do? Name it and I'll do it!"

Sam started to speak, but Dean took over, "We want you to resurrect Bobby. He didn't deserve to die trying to fight against your imaginary minions."

Gabriel snapped his fingers and Bobby began to suck in oxygen like it was going out of style. "Done, now get me out of here."

"Not so fast." Dean said, "You need to reverse this thing between me and Sam; put us back the way we were."

"What's going on?" Bobby asked, very disoriented.

Sam went to the older hunter's side, "You okay, Bobby? We figured out what was going on and we trapped him. He brought you back to life."

Bobby nodded, "Thanks Sam. I'm glad you boys figured this whole mess out."

Sam turned back to Dean, who was settling the terms with Gabriel. Sam wasn't even entirely sure what Dean had forced the angel to agree to. He didn't know what fate he was destined to find.

"Alright, consider it done! Get me out of here!"

Dean nodded, moving to the wall where he pulled the smoke alarm which triggered the sprinkler system and released Gabriel from his bondage. The angel looked straight into Dean's eyes, finally seeing the hunter as more than an experiment; he actually kind of found some respect for the man. Gabriel snapped his fingers and the whole world went black.


	32. Chapter 31

A/N: I really hope this isn't confusing for anyone to follow. Basically they wake up back at the beginning of the story, as if everything after the first section of chapter 1 never happened. I hope that everyone understands what is happening.

This chapter is basically transitional but I apologize for it being short.

Also, don't worry, I have quite a bit more story to come. This is not the end. Try not to worry too much, I have a plan for the story.

Thanks again for being such awesome people and reading and reviewing...let me know what you think of this one too! Thanks again, so much!

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Chapter 31 – Back in Time

Dean woke up confused, very confused. Where was he? He looked around; it was dark but he could just make out the outline of another bed to his left. 'Hmm, must be in a motel room' he thought to himself. Now, if he just knew what city and state he was in that would be very helpful. He also had no idea why his stomach felt like he'd been riding a rollercoaster for an hour and his head hurt like he was severely hung over. Was he hung over? Had he been drinking the night before?

Sam woke in much the same fashion. He sat up with a groan, his hand immediately going up to his head where he ran his hand over his aching forehead. "Ouch" he moaned to himself.

"Sammy?" He heard from the next bed.

"Dean?" He was surprised that he was so surprised to hear his brother's voice. He was always with Dean, why would he suddenly be surprised by that fact? "What are you doing up?" Sam opened his mouth and made a disgusted face, trying desperately to bring some moisture up from his throat; he had severe cottonmouth. 'Gross' he thought to himself.

"I don't know, I just woke up. I'm a little confused, Sammy, so help me out here. Where the hell are we?" Dean asked. He figured he must have been pretty drunk to have completely spaced like this.

Sam took a second to think, where were they? He scratched his head, perplexed, "I'm not sure."

"Are you hung over too?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged, "I don't know, it kind of feels that way, but I don't remember getting drunk."

"What is the last thing that you remember?" Dean wanted to know.

Sam thought about it for a second and then a blush crept into his cheeks. He definitely did not want to answer that question. "We were hunting a demon in Pittsburg. I remember having trouble getting to sleep." He wanted to leave the rest of the details out.

Realization hit Dean firmly in the brain, "Oh!" That's right; he had stirred awake to discover that poor Sammy was trying to rub one out. "Hey, sorry about last night. I didn't mean to make things uncomfortable for you."

Sam cocked his head to the side, 'So, Dean remembers what happened then?' He was also very confused as to why Dean was being so nice to him; usually Dean just acted like his normal cocky self all the time. Things had been very strained for them since Sam let Lucifer free and the brothers had found out that they were the fire and oil of the apocalypse. "It's fine, Dean."

Dean pulled the blanket off his body and slid to the edge of the bed, "God, I feel like someone hit me over the head with something. Are you nauseous?"

Sam raised his eyebrow; it wasn't often that Dean's stomach got upset. Dean usually had an iron gullet, the dude could get wasted and never get sick to his stomach. In fact, Dean usually never had hangovers; not since he was a teenager. "Not really, more just kinda blah."

Dean nodded, "Maybe we should eat something; maybe that would help."

Sam smiled; Dean was already back to himself. Dean loved his food. "Okay, you want me to get it or do you want to?"

Dean shrugged, "I don't know, maybe we could get our asses in gear and go somewhere."

Sam smiled; he liked that idea even better. "Okay, sounds good." He swung his gigantic legs over the side of the bed and stood up, grimacing at the ache he felt in his body. He strolled into the shower and turned on the water to the hottest that he could stand and jumped in. His aching muscles felt weird and foreign to him, he just really wished that his mind wasn't so cloudy. What the hell was going on with them?

He tried to clear the clouded thoughts from his mind and just focus on the solid memories that he knew were real. It felt as though it had been years between now and the things that had happened the night before. It was all really strange and perplexing for him. Before he knew what was happening, he was touching himself. He looked down and realized that his hand had a mind of its own or something. That's when he remembered why he had been so keen on jerking off while his brother had been asleep in the next bed; the demon blood. As soon as the subject was back into his mind, he was gone…it was suddenly all he could think about again. Ugh! He hated being obsessed like this; it was such a pain in the ass. He continued to touch himself, rubbing his fist up and down his long, hard shaft until he felt hot spurts of pent-up cum shoot from his cock and hit the shower wall. 'Gotta clean that up' he thought to himself, realizing how hard Dean would beat his ass f he got in for his shower and saw the evidence of what Sam had just done. Dean would be grossed out AND make his life a living hell.

While Sam was in the shower, Dean was wondering what the hell was taking his brother so long. The dude was like a freaking girl when it came to showers. He rolled his eyes and tried to rest his eyes, in hopes that the pounding headache would dissipate. He was just about to fall asleep when the phone on the nightstand began to vibrate intensely. Dean groaned and reached over to grab it before it could make any more offending noises, "Hello?"

"Dean." Castiel's voice on the other line sounded like a thousand nails on a chalkboard.

"Not now Cas, my head hurts, okay? You're going to have to wait a few hours." Dean grumbled and almost hung up on the angel.

"You are alright then?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "No, I'm not alright. I just told you that I have a pounding headache." Geez maybe he needed to buy Cas some fucking q-tips or something.

"That's all I wanted to know." Castiel said, "Take care of yourself, Dean."

What the hell was he talking about? Just before Castiel could hang up, Dean's brain started to work, "Hey, wait Cas! Why would I not be okay? Did something happen to me, cause I feel like I've been put through the spin cycle or something."

Castiel nodded, "That's normal. You are fine, I must go now."

"No, you don't. Don't go disappearing on me like you like to do! Tell me why it's normal for me to be feeling like this. What happened to me?"

Castiel shook his head, "Nothing, you are fine." With that the angel was gone, leaving Dean to swear loudly into the phone.

Sam walked out of the bathroom at that moment, a towel wrapped around his waist, "Who was that and why were you swearing at them?"

Dean flashed his brother an irritated look, "It was Cas. I was swearing being he was being a tool. He's so fucking cryptic and can't answer a damn question."

Sam smiled, "Yeah, sounds like Cas." He picked his duffel off the floor and set it on his bed. He dug through it until he found a set of clean clothes to wear. "Shower's free, Dean." Sam pointed out as he let the towel fall to the floor behind him.

Something stalled in Dean's brain at what was happening in front of him. He swallowed hard, wondering what was bothering him. Sure, he never liked to really look at Sam while he was changing but it had never bothered him before. He forced the weird feeling (that he could only describe as curiosity) out of his mind quickly, "Did you leave any hot water for me, Samantha?" Dean asked, rolling his eyes. It was easy to step back into the usual role for him. Whatever had bothered him moments before was gone now. "God, I've never met anyone who took as long in the damn shower as you, princess."

Sam rolled his eyes in response, "Shut up, jerk!"

"Bitch!" Dean exclaimed with a grin on his face. Sam could be such a pussy sometimes, but that was alright because Dean loved pussies. The smile on Dean's face widened considerably and he had to suppress the giggle that threatened to escape his throat. He pulled his thoughts from the hot chicks in his mind and walked to the bathroom so that he could get his shower.

Sam smiled after his brother was gone. Something about Dean made him smile, but he would never give Dean the satisfaction of knowing that he found him funny. Dean would never let Sam live it down if he knew the truth, and his ego would get inflated even more…if that was even possible. Dean Winchester's ego was so big that if it grew anymore he wouldn't fit in on the entire North American continent.

The brothers went about their business as usual. They went to the greasiest diner that Dean could find. Dean ordered eggs, bacon, toast and coffee and Sam simply ordered a short stack with some strawberry sauce on the side and an orange juice. They ate their breakfast and then Dean slapped a crisp ten dollar bill down on the table, from his stash of pool hustling money, and they were on their way.

They had no idea where they were going, but they knew that they would stumble onto a hunt very quickly. It was rare that the brothers would get much down time between cases. "Where to next?" Sam asked from the passenger side of Dean's beloved Impala.

Dean shrugged, "I don't know, Sammy. How about Vegas? I'd like to shoot some craps and see some show girls, I don't know about you…" Dean's voice trailed off.

Sam rolled his eyes….it was always show girls or strippers clogging up Dean's brain. It was just so predictable. "No thanks Dean."

"I'm sure there are some male strip clubs you could hit up while we're there. I'll pass, but you can have at it!" Dean reached over and smacked Sam on the shoulder in half affection, half goofiness.

Sam glared at his brother out of the corner of his eye. Dean thought that he was just adorable, but he was really just a stupid jerk. "Shut up, Dean." He did love the way the corners of his brother's mouth would curl up into a smile whenever Sam got irritated with him, as if it was Dean's life's work. Hell, maybe it was his life's work to piss Sam off.

"I know where we should go, Sammy. California!"

Sam raised his eyebrow, "Why, is there some chick you know there?" It was impossible for Sam to keep the irritation from his voice at the thought of Dean hooking up with some random girl that he barely knew.

Dean smiled; he wished that was the case. "No, I was thinking more along the lines of heading to Hollywood so that you could try your hand at being a soap opera star."

Sam smiled, "Yeah right, you're more the soap opera type, Dean. I've seen what you watch when you think I'm not looking." Sam laughed to himself thinking about that Doctor Sexy, M.D. show that Dean secretly enjoyed so much.

"Bite me, Sammy."

"Keep talking and I just might." Sam responded and then wondered why he had said that.

"You're a kinky little devil." Dean laughed the whole thing off as a big joke, which is what he always did when he was uncomfortable with how things were going.

Sam didn't respond, he just looked at his brother. There was something different in the air, something he couldn't quite place. He didn't understand what it all meant and it was all too awkward to ask about. It was like Dean had chosen to ignore the whole conversation, because he dropped it and went back to staring intently at the road and humming along with Cheap Trick's "Surrender."

Sam settled back into his seat, the car lulling him to sleep the way it always had since he was old enough to remember. He drifted off into a relaxing sleep, curled up with his head against the window.

Dean looked over at his sleeping little brother and felt such affection there. Sam looked so peaceful and innocent like that and it really tugged at Dean's heartstrings. This was the most significant relationship he had ever had with anyone and he knew he would do anything for Sam. _Everything_ he did was for Sam.


	33. Chapter 32

A/N: Definitely some interesting things happening in this chapter. Let me know what you think!

Oh, and thanks everyone for all the reviews! They mean so much! This story just slid right into the lead with most reviews I've received for one of my stories (on both of my ff accounts)...so I sincerely thank you all so much!

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Chapter 32 – Dreaming of You

They were still in the Impala, Dean driving, heading for nowhere in particular and Sam was still asleep in the passenger seat. It was very commonplace for Sam to fall asleep when he wasn't driving or doing research because the car had always functioned as a rocking chair for him when he was just a little boy.

Dean always felt content with the world when he was driving and Sam was sleeping soundly beside him. He loved to watch Sam sleep; it was a guilty pleasure for him. He knew it was a creepy thing to acknowledge about himself, but he felt like all was right with the world when his little Sammy was asleep and safe from the horrible things of the world.

Sam was having a nice dream about Jessica; one of the ones he always loved where she's alive and they're happy together. He was so happy in this dream but somehow he knew this wasn't real. His brain was fighting against him; why couldn't he at least have happiness in his dreams?

Suddenly, in dreamland, Sam was with Dean, but something was different. They were in the Impala like they always were, but the car wasn't moving and Dean had this anguished look on his face. What was going on? He had never seen a look quite like that on his brother's face in his entire life. Sure, he'd seen Dean sad, angry, frustrated and everything in between, but he had never seen such conflicting internal emotions as he saw in those deep green eyes. In those eyes Sam could see everything; Dean's very soul, open and exposed for him.

As fast as the dream had changed from he and Jessica to he and Dean, it changed again. He had Dean pinned up against a counter and was kissing him urgently. Huh? Why was he dreaming about this and why was he conscious enough to know this was wrong? And, more importantly, why wasn't this whole thing disturbing him the way it should have? 'Wake up, Sam, wake up!'

Sam willed himself awake and he quickly came to in the Impala. He looked around and met Dean's questioning eyes.

"What were you dreaming about, Sammy?" Dean asked with one raised eyebrow and a smirk on his face, "You were making some serious happy noises." Sam blushed and shook his head; there was no fucking way he was going to let Dean know what he was dreaming about. Dean could hang him upside down and quarter him and he still wouldn't tell him what he had been dreaming about; that was something he intended to bury deep down inside and (hopefully) never think about again.

If Dean was being honest he would have admitted that the little noises that had been escaping Sam's throat weren't as hilarious as they should have been. Ordinarily he wouldn't have ever let Sam live it down, but he couldn't find it within him to be that disturbed by the whole thing. 'You must be off your game, Dean' he thought to himself.

"Sorry." Sam muttered, embarrassed. He feared that Dean would tease him about this for hours on end, only forgetting about it after he did something else embarrassing.

Dean shrugged, not saying anything.

Sam's eyebrows rose, "You mean you're not going to make my life a living hell about it?"

"Why would I do a thing like that, Sammy?"

Had Dean been abducted by aliens? "You're sure you're not a shape-shifter that just looks like my brother?"

"Very funny." Dean said. "Pop out your computer for me, will you? I think I'd like to stop and get some food and a room sometime in the next half hour if you can find us something." Dean flashed his brother his pearly whites and Sam just smiled back, shaking his head.

Sam did as his brother asked. He pulled his laptop from its case behind his seat and opened it up. He hoped there was enough charge to get him the information he needed or Dean was likely to get pissy with him. He opened the computer and waited for it to kick into gear. "This thing is very slow these days." Sam said, irritated.

Dean smiled, "We could stop somewhere so you could pick up a new one. All you gotta do is ask."

Sam raised his eyebrow, "Seriously? You'd take time from traveling and jobs to help me get something that you think is geeky and stupid?"

Dean shrugged, "I'm a great guy, Sam. Besides, I can't watch porn on that piece of crap."

Sam smiled; of course, this was about the porn, not Dean actually being nice to him. "Of course."

"But, even if I didn't watch porn on it I would still take you to get a new one if you'd just ask me. I'm not a fucking tyrant." Dean said looking kind of hurt.

Sam cocked his head to the side and studied his brother's face, "I know that Dean, I'm sorry."

"It's not a big deal, Sammy. Must be my time of the month or something." It was really unlike him to get so bitchy and pissy with Sam, it was usually the other way around.

Sam focused his attention back to the computer in front of him and began to search for accommodations on google. "There's a Best Western in ten miles." He looked at Dean with hope in his eyes.

Dean shook his head, "Nah, too conspicuous. Got anything else?"

"Why can't we stay somewhere normal for a change, Dean?" Sam asked.

"We've been over this. We need to stay in ratholes because we're undercover." Dean rolled his eyes. He looked over at his baby brother and sighed, "But if you really want to stay there then maybe I could deal with it for one night."

Sam's mouth opened and then shut again. Was his brother for real? "Seriously?" His brother never acted like this, "What did you do? Why are you being so nice to me? Since when do we ever do what I want to do?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Since now. And, you don't have to be a bitch about this."

Sam didn't respond, he just nodded and let his brother go back to his quiet driving. Quiet was what he was until Kiss' "I was Made for Lovin' You" started to play and a huge smile formed on Dean's face, "Love this song!" Dean began to sing along with the radio.

"_I was made for lovin' you baby; you were made for lovin' me. And I can't get enough of you baby, can you get enough of me?"_

Sam looked over at his brother as if he'd grown three heads. The listening to Kiss part wasn't that shocking, but the fact that it was a love song was. Dean Winchester wasn't really the love song type.

Dean caught his brother's gaze, "What? It's a good song!" He continued to sing.

"_Tonight I wanna see it in your eyes, feel the magic. There's something that drives me wild, and tonight we're gonna make it all come true…"_

Sam's throat was dry and he had no idea why. The only thing he knew for certain was that he wished this song wasn't playing and that his brother wasn't singing along with it. He felt weirdly uncomfortable and found that his memory quickly brought that dream back into his mind. He shook his head violently, trying to shake the memory of that dream.

"You okay, Sammy?" Dean asked, taking a break from his song. "You getting Tourette's or something?"

Sam actually laughed, something he didn't normally do when his brother was being a moron. There was definitely something up he just had no clue what the hell it was.

Two hours later the brothers had reserved their room, grabbed some food at the nearest diner and had gotten back to their room. Dean yawned, "I think I'm going to hit the sack. Can you entertain yourself tonight, Sammy?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "What were you planning to do, sing me to sleep or something?"

Dean smiled, "Maybe, I know how much you like it."

"Sure do." Sam said sarcastically. His brother's singing was just one of those things that grated on his nerves more than almost anything else in the world.

Dean smiled and hopped into his bed, quickly tossing the covers over his sleepy frame. "Sammy, be a dear and turn off the light."

Sam rolled his eyes but reached over to turn the big lamps off, leaving just the bathroom light on to give him some light. He wasn't all that tired because he had slept in the car. He decided he could watch some television or go on the computer and tool around. What he wanted to do was take care of the raging hard on in his pants, but he didn't dare get himself into a position to be caught by Dean again. That had been traumatic and horrible and something that he never wanted to happen again.

He looked down at his hard cock and silently cursed it. 'Fuck you' he screamed on the inside. He wanted fucking blood and he wanted it insanely bad, but he couldn't have that, so he wanted the next best thing…he wanted to cum and he wanted to cum hard. He hated his life; who the hell gets addicted to demon blood anyway? 'Fucking Ruby!' Just putting Ruby and fucking in the same sentence made pre-cum drip from the tip of his erection. Sure, Ruby had been a manipulative bitch who had tricked him into jumpstarting Armageddon, but she had also been a terrific lay. He and Ruby had been passionate lovers and quite kinky to boot.

'What the hell Sam, this isn't helping!' Sam cursed his stupid male brain for running all of these images through his head. He was a sick fuck; first he's having dreams about his own brother and then he's getting all hot and hard thinking about a demon! Sam was just about to get out of bed and relieve himself in the bathroom when he witnessed something that practically made his heart stop beating; Dean was moving his hips back and forth in his bed, moaning and mumbling noises that Sam could only imagine were supposed to be words of some kind.

Sam's eyes were glued to his brother's writhing body. He knew it was highly disturbing for him to be looking on like this, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. 'What the fuck is happening to me?' He should do something; leave the room, wake Dean up…anything but sit there, cock dripping and staring at the way his brother's body was quivering with obvious pleasure.

Finally Sam found his voice. "Dean!"

Dean responded huskily, "Sammy?"

Sam raised his eyebrow, wondering why in hell it was so hot to hear Dean say his name like that.

"Wake up, Dean!" Sam exclaimed, moving closer to shake Dean's arm.

Dean stirred and finally opened his eyes. He started to look up into Sam's face but his eye caught on something else that was only about six inches from his face; Sam's raging boner. He swallowed hard; he didn't want Sam to know that he had been looking. "Sammy." He said more clearly this time. "What's going on?"

"You were dreaming." Sam said.

"Sorry, was I keeping you up?" Dean silently cursed himself for using those words.

Sam blushed, catching on to the double meaning behind Dean's question. "You were making happy noises too and…"

Dean wanted to ask why his happy noises had given Sam an erection but he knew better than that. "Oh? What was I…doing?"

"Mumbling some stuff I couldn't understand and moving around."

"Like sleepwalking?" Dean raised his eyebrow.

Sam shook his head, "No, like grinding…"

Dean cringed, that was definitely something he did not want his brother to witness. "Sorry, I can only imagine how awkward that must have been."

"Who were you dreaming about? Lisa?" Sam asked, knowing better than to be asking this question.

Dean shrugged. He didn't know how to answer Sam's question. Lisa had been in the dream, at the beginning, but she hadn't been in the whole dream. "I don't remember." He felt bad about lying, but he thought it was close enough because he WANTED to forget. He certainly wasn't about to tell his brother that he had been dreaming about having his cock in his mouth.

Sam nodded and moved away from Dean, realizing that his cock had practically been in Dean's face. "Well, why don't you just go back to sleep? I'm sure it won't happen again."

Dean nodded, that sounded like a good idea to him. He said a silent prayer that Sam would not be in any more of his dreams, laid back down and closed his eyes.

Once Sam was confident that Dean was back to sleep, he moved quickly toward the bathroom. He didn't know what the hell was happening to him, but he anticipated that there would be many more nights of him jacking off in front of the bathroom mirror in his future.


	34. Chapter 33

A/N: I'm on a roll today, I hope nobody minds! Hope you like this one too! You guys rock!

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Chapter 33 – Elephant in the Room

That night in the Best Western was the best night of sleep that Sam ever had, even with all the drama of the previous night. The bed was actually quite comfortable and the sheets were clean; it was quite a luxury.

He opened his eyes and stretched, welcoming the day. The sun was shining into the window and he could hear birds chirping. For some reason he felt as if the weight of the world wasn't on his shoulders for those few minutes.

"You're in a good mood I see." Dean commented from the nearby table, where he sat reading over the hotel accommodations. He was thinking about room service; it was something the Winchesters never got to experience.

Sam smiled, "I slept great, Dean. We should stay in places like this more often."

"I didn't sleep great; between being woken up and the fear that someone would figure out who we are it was rather hard to get any peace." Dean said with a frown. That was why he felt more comfortable in the rat-holes, because that was just where they always stayed. The people in those places never double checked identity and it was much easier to run the credit card scams. They would already be out of a place before anyone realized that they weren't who they said they were.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up, Dean." Sam said with a frown. Maybe he should have just left Dean alone to rub himself against his blanket, what harm would it have really done?

Dean shook his head, "I probably would have done the same thing." It was true, if he watched Sam having a sex dream and gyrating his hips he would probably have been prone to wake him the hell up too.

"Have any more exciting dreams?" Sam asked with a smile.

Dean shrugged, he had no idea. "If I did then I don't remember them."

"Couldn't have been too memorable then." Sam commented.

That was true, any other dreams that he had must not have been very memorable, unlike the dream he had about Sam; that was forever burned into his brain. It had been so vivid that it had felt completely real. The whole thing creeped Dean out to no end.

As he was sitting there, stewing, he heard "Smoke on the Water" and knew that his cell phone was ringing.

Sam picked up Dean's phone from beside the bed and tossed it to his brother who caught it in mid-air. "Hey Bobby." Dean said into the phone, after he had looked to see who it was.

"Hey boy."

"What's going on? Do you have a job for us?" Dean loved being able to lounge around and do nothing, but with things being so weird and everything he was very excited at the prospect of getting back in the saddle…so to speak.

"I think so, maybe." Bobby wasn't sure why he was calling the boys exactly; he just felt the need to.

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Is something wrong, Bobby?"

"I don't know, I've just been so disoriented lately." Bobby explained.

Dean sat up straight and scowled, "How so, Bobby? Cause Sam and I…"

"Well, yesterday I woke up very confused, wasn't sure what day it was or anything. It was kind of strange. I thought maybe I had drank too much, but then remembered that I hadn't drank anything." Bobby explained.

"The same thing happened to Sam and I yesterday morning. I think there's a connection." Dean jumped up and started to pace around the room, "Don't worry Bobby, we'll get to the bottom of it, okay? Just sit tight and try not to have any weird dreams."

Bobby's mouth went dry. How had Dean known about the dreams? "Dreams?"

"Never mind, Bobby." Dean silently cursed himself for bringing that up. As if his sex dream about his brother had anything to do with all of this. He was just being crazy. Dean said goodbye to his father-figure and ended the call.

When Dean looked up again Sam was staring at him intently, "How come you brought up dreams?"

"I don't know, I was just trying to be funny." He smiled and tried to laugh off the whole thing.

Sam shook his head, "That was not your 'I'm being funny' look, that was your serious look. So, clearly you know what you were dreaming about."

"Well, what about you? You never told me what, or who, you were dreaming about either. Why do we have to have show-and-tell now?' Dean asked, irritated.

"Because you obviously think it has something to do with why we were so disoriented yesterday and now something to do with Bobby. If it's not just us then maybe there's something supernatural going on here and we need to figure it all out." Sam explained, trying to keep his voice calm, cool and collected. Sure, the last thing he wanted to do was tell Dean what he was dreaming about but he had to admit that he was curious to find out about Dean's dream.

Dean shook his head, "There is no way in hell that I'm going to talk about that with you."

"Maybe we could get some more of that African Dream Root stuff." Sam said with a shrug.

Dean's brow was furrowed, "Yeah right. That's not going to happen. Besides, Bela was our only contact to that crap and she's getting her ass carved up like a Christmas turkey as we speak." Dean shuddered a bit, remembering hell. The horrors he had seen and been a party to were things so unspeakable that Dean was surprised they didn't fill his dreams every night. As much as he didn't like Bela for the bitch that she was he still wouldn't wish that fate on her.

Sam shook his head, "Nah, she probably found a way out of it. Probably figured out what it is that the hell-bound souls want and has found a way to supply them in exchange for peace." Sam said with an obvious eye roll.

"Or she's bffs with Ruby and they started a manipulative bitch sorority or something." Dean said. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of sororities though.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Dude, you've watched entirely too many pornos."

Dean smiled, "You can never see too much porn, Sammy. Seriously." He looked right into Sam's eyes and smiled.

Sam smiled back, despite himself. He couldn't help but notice how Dean was looking at him shyly which was probably the weirdest thing in the world because a) Dean Winchester was not shy and b) Dean had known Sam forever and therefore there was no reason to be shy with him. There was something unspoken there, on the tip of Dean's tongue, and Sam couldn't reach in and pull it out for fear of making things extremely awkward.

Dean swallowed and looked away, "I've got a phone call to make. Meet me in the car in 10." He grabbed his cell phone and walked out of the room.

Sam just stood there, staring at his brother as he left the room. For some reason he couldn't take his eyes off him. There was just something he wasn't saying and it was like a giant elephant in the room that nobody mentions.

Outside, Dean took a big gulp of fresh air, trying to relax himself. Something had him spooked and he didn't understand it. He punched Castiel's number into his phone and waited for the angel to pick up.

"Dean." Castiel said.

"Cas. I know you're being cryptic about this whole thing, but Bobby just called a few minutes ago and he was disoriented and confused yesterday morning the same way we were. I'm thinking there has got to be a connection." Dean laid it all out in the open, hoping that the angel would put all the pieces together for him.

Castiel nodded, "I'm sure there is."

"Okay, well you obviously know something that you're not sharing with me so spill your guts, Cas. We need to know what we're dealing with here." Dean said, aggressively.

"No."

"What do you mean, no?" Dean asked.

"I mean no. You do not want me to tell you about this, trust me."

Dean growled, "Tell me now or I'll find you and kill you." Dean was being an ass and he recognized it immediately, "Sorry Cas, didn't really mean that." He sighed, "Just, please, I can't shake this feeling that there's something huge that I'm missing and I really need to know what's up."

"I'm not going to tell you, Dean. I am keeping this from you for a reason. I'm doing this for you, because this is what you wanted." With that Castiel was gone.

Dean practically growled, loudly, "Fucking angels!" He angrily made his way over to the Impala, where Sam was sitting with the door open, looking up at him.

"Who did you call?" Sam asked, curiously.

"Cas." Dean said, spitting his name out with a vengeance.

"I take it that he was less than helpful?" Sam asked, gathering from the look on Dean's face.

"He said he wouldn't tell me because I didn't want him to." Dean explained.

"What does that mean exactly?" Sam asked.

"I have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine." Dean said.

"So, where are we going?" Sam asked.

Dean shrugged, "I was thinking that since he's in the same boat as we are that we should probably head to Bobby's. Maybe three heads are better than two and we can figure this whole thing out." He got into his seat and started up the car before he turned back to look at Sam again, "I really hate being left in the dark, it really pisses me off."

Sam smiled, "I know that about you." He reached over and touched Dean's thigh affectionately and then quickly pulled it away, not understanding why he had done that in the first place, "I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this."

Dean nodded, "Yeah, we'll figure it out even if I have to threaten Cas to do it."

Sam smiled, "I don't know how well angels do with threatening, Dean."

Dean shrugged, "You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes." He looked Sam square in the eyes for a second, before turning back to the road, "Besides, don't you want to know what's going on?"

"I guess so, but if Cas is telling the truth, then maybe it's better left alone." Sam shrugged. He really didn't want to go digging up something that was better left buried.

Dean's brow was furrowed, "Seriously Sam? You don't want to know what's going on?"

Sam shrugged again, "I just don't want to find out something horrible and know that it could have all been avoided."

Dean shook his head, "Well, I have to know the truth. I need to know what is real here and what's not."

Sam nodded; somehow he should have known that his brother would say something along those lines. Dean was all about reality, even when he didn't know what that reality was.

"I mean, what if all of this isn't real and some asshole is just dicking with us. All these creatures love to fuck us, Sam." Dean said angrily.

Sam raised his eyebrow, "Don't you mean fuck WITH us, Dean?" He smiled, he couldn't help it.

"That's what I said." Dean argued.

"No, you said that the creatures love to fuck us." Sam started smiling again, "Must have been a Freudian slip."

Dean glared at Sam, "Whatever. I don't have the hots for mom, okay?" Dean said, making reference to the Oedipus complex.

"So, maybe it's dad for you." Sam said with a smile.

Dean made a face, "Sam, shut up! That's just gross." He shuddered a little bit, "Besides, they're both dead so we shouldn't be talking about them like this."

Sam nodded, "You're right Dean. Just trying to lighten the moment with you is all."

Dean nodded too, "I know, Sammy. I'm the one who brought up mom in the first place. I guess I'm just horny…but not for mom…or dad." Dean didn't know what possessed him to say that, but Sam couldn't help but feel a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach.


	35. Chapter 34

A/N: So, this wasn't exactly what I had planned, but it is entertaining! Hope you all enjoy it!

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Chapter 34 – Wet Dream

They set out to drive straight through to Bobby's. The plan was to only stop for food, restrooms and gas as needed, but otherwise they would keep the car on the road. Dean wanted to get to Bobby's as quickly as possible, because he was dying to figure out what was going on with them. He knew he could be obsessive about this kind of thing, but he couldn't help it. He just had to know what he was dealing with.

They were now only about an hour away from Bobby's and Dean was at the wheel. Sam was asleep beside him, as he had been pretty much the entire time Dean was driving. They hadn't spoken much to each other since leaving the best Western, primarily because when one was driving the other was sleeping, but it also helped them to avoid all the weird sexual tension in the air. It was something that made them both highly uncomfortable, particularly Dean. Dean knew he wasn't gay, and was fairly certain that Sam wasn't, so he didn't understand why this was happening to him.

'It's gotta have something to do with all the confusion and everything. The dreams must be a side effect.' It was the dreams making him have these weird thoughts and urges, wasn't it? It was the dreams that made him want to reach out and wipe the hair from his brother's face while he was asleep and looking so angelic. It was the crazy, messed up dreams that made Dean want to kiss Sam's forehead and say sweet things to him. He hadn't acted like that with Sam since Sam was a little boy and had a nightmare.

'Maybe you just have this strong need to baby him.' Maybe that was all it was. Maybe Dean just wanted to have young Sammy back, the one who didn't carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and wasn't so brooding and pensive all the time. Maybe he wished that life could be simpler like it used to be. Monsters had always been a huge part of their lives, but they had managed to be kids once and a while when they were growing up.

Whatever his deal was, he couldn't stand the weirdness that he felt inside; it had to go. They had to figure out what was what and get on with their lives. They couldn't afford to spend every waking minute together with Dean having these thoughts. It was wrong and it was sick. 'He's my brother, that's it!'

While Dean was dealing with his internal monologue, Sam was busy having another smoking hot dream about his brother. In the dream he was lying on top of Dean and rubbing their cocks together as they kissed. In his mind he recognized himself as the aggressor and that actually made a bit of sense to him. It was like there was no way that Dean would be the aggressor.

What surprised Sam the most was that it seemed like he was both the Sam watching this and the Sam participating in this. He could feel the amazing sensations running throughout his body but he could also watch on as if he was just an audience member. 'This is just fucking strange' Sam told himself, perplexed. The weirdest part of all was that he didn't mind watching this; in fact he kind of liked it. He found that watching his brother delirious with passion was actually quite hot. Dean was a very good looking man and Sam had always noticed this about him, but this was more than that. Dean was just amazingly beautiful when he was delirious and helpless like that.

He watched them cum together, both of them screaming out each other's names in complete abandon. The part of him that knew this was just a dream (or something like that) was helplessly turned on, need growing deep inside of him. He knew he had to get out of this dream, get away from the intensity of what he was seeing and feeling. It was all too much, just too much for him to see and not have in his reality.

Back in the real world Dean watched his brother writhing in complete ecstasy and just sat there, dumfounded with his mouth gaping and his cock growing harder by the second. 'What the fuck, Dean?' What the hell was wrong with him; this was his brother for God's sake! He should be smiling and thinking up ways to torture Sam about this, rather than thinking about how he could reach over and help him out…

Suddenly he heard words that made him lose his mind. Sam was groaning and moaning and began to scream out, "Dean! Dean! Oh God, Dean!"

Dean's mouth went completely dry. His eyes instinctively went to Sam's tented pants and watched as Sam came in his jeans. Dean thought he was dreaming himself; his little brother just had a wet dream about him! 'Holy fucking hell!' Dean was in a state of shock, but forced his head up just in time to stop the Impala from crashing into the car in front of him.

Sam opened his eyes, a few minutes later, and looked over at Dean. He felt as though something had just happened, but he couldn't place it. That's when he noticed what was going on in his jeans. He looked down at himself and his eyes opened widely. Had he just had a wet dream? It had been a while since that had happened to him, it was pretty crazy. He looked back at Dean for any sign that he knew what had happened. Dean was busy staring at the road and screaming at the car in front of him while flipping the guy off, so Sam relaxed, thinking that Dean must not have known.

Sam adjusted his pants, finding it very uncomfortable to sit there in his cum. He grabbed his computer from behind him and set it over his lap, hoping to make his situation less obvious. He turned to look back at Dean, who was starting to calm down from his major road rage, "Hey, can we stop at the next rest area please?"

Dean turned his attention back to Sam, who he had only been pretending to ignore, and nodded silently. "Yeah, sure."

"You're not going to pick on my girly bladder or anything?" Sam asked, confused.

"Nope" was all that Dean said.

Sam cocked his head to the side and studied his brother's face. Something was weird with Dean, but he wasn't sure what it was. "You look weird."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Thanks and you look hideous too." Lie, lie, lie.

Sam smiled and shook his head, "That's not what I meant. I just mean that you look like something happened; is everything alright?"

Dean smiled; he decided to spare Sam the details of what had happened, "Yeah, everything's fine. Should there be something wrong?"

Sam shrugged, "I guess not." Sam decided to drop the subject there before he accidentally let something slip about his dream or his current messy situation.

Dean pulled into a gas station about 7 minutes later and looked over at Sam, "I'm sure they have a bathroom here."

Sam nodded, "Thanks Dean."

"No biggie." Dean said, "I know you'd do the same for me if I was in your situation."

Sam raised his eyebrow, was Dean indicating that he knew more than he was letting on? God, he sure hoped not. He decided not to dwell on it and instead grab his duffel from the back and hold it in front of him as he got out of the car and headed toward the inside of the gas station.

Dean almost laughed out loud at the way Sam was walking. He couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for his little brother but he also couldn't help but find the whole thing hilarious too. Dean laughed as he got out of the car and started to fill his baby up with gasoline.

The drove the rest of the way to Bobby's without a hitch. Nobody had any dreams and nobody came in their pants again. Sam had changed his clothes when he went to the bathroom at the gas station and Dean, much to Sam's surprise, never said anything about it. Sam found it hard to believe that Dean hadn't noticed the wardrobe change, but he didn't want to bring it up for fear that he'd have to talk about his erotic dream. If the dream had been about anyone but his brother he would have been more willing to talk about it. He had never really been afraid to talk to Dean about things like this before; when Sam first went through puberty it had been Dean who was there for him and had helped him to understand what was happening to his body. The very first wet dream Sam had ever had obviously occurred while Dean was in the motel with him, at the age of 13, and Dean had been great during that, but this was entirely different.

Suddenly Sam felt bad for his brother; who had been there to help him through puberty. Sure he couldn't have counted on their father to help him with anything. John Winchester hadn't known how to be a father or hadn't cared to be one anyway. All John had ever done was focus on getting reparations for their mother; a cause they felt strongly about as well, but knew that it wouldn't ever actually change anything.

Dean looked over at Sam, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" Sam asked, innocently.

"Like my puppy just died."

"It's nothing, Dean." Sam sighed, "I was just thinking about Dad and how you were always there for me through the tough times, but nobody was there for you."

Dean looked at his brother as if he'd grown twelve heads, where the hell was all of this coming from? Sam never concerned himself with Dean's fate growing up; honestly he never really understood what it had been like for Dean as a child. How could Sam have known about these things, because Dean had done everything he could to keep it from him? "You've never said anything like that to me before. Why are you thinking about this now?"

"I don't know, Dean. I just am." Sam shrugged.

"More mysteries to solve I guess." Dean mumbled.

When they got to Bobby's they parked the car and knocked on the front door. Bobby came to the door quickly and let them in, "Hi boys, nice to see you."

"Nice to see you too Bobby." Sam said with a genuine smile.

"How you doing, Bobby? You having any headaches or anything?" Dean asked curiously.

"Not anymore. I had a hell of a one the other morning though." He said.

Dean nodded, "So did we."

Sam looked at Bobby, "Did the disorientation go away?"

"It seems to. I know where I am, I remember what happened a couple days ago now and I know the date and everything. It was just really weird when I first woke up that morning."

Dean nodded, "Sounds like what we went through. Castiel wouldn't tell me what it's all about but he did admit that it was all connected."

Bobby rolled his eyes, "Angels!"

"Here, here!" Dean exclaimed.

"So, does he think that weird dreams are a part of this too?" Bobby asked.

Sam and Dean looked at each other and then back at Bobby. "He wasn't specific about anything, but I would say they probably are. What kind of dreams have you been having lately, Bobby?" Dean seriously hoped that Bobby's were quite a bit les sexual than theirs.

"You boys been having them too?" Bobby asked.

Sam nodded, "Yes."

"I'm sure yours are nothing like mine." Bobby said.

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Okay, out with it...what have your dreams been about?"

Bobby shook his head, "I'd rather keep this to myself."

"I will admit that our dreams have both been rather sexual in nature, so how much worse can yours be?" Dean asked.

"You have no idea." Bobby gulped, trying to force the bile from rising up. There was just nothing that Bobby could come up with to explain why the hell he was having dreams about the things he was dreaming of. He grimaced, "I've been having dreams of you two idjits…tonguing it up in my kitchen."

Sam and Dean looked at each other again. There was an obvious blush in Sam's cheeks that made Dean feel dirty. "Well shit!" Dean exclaimed. Things just kept right on getting better and better.


	36. Chapter 35

A/N: Thanks again for the amazing review, they mean the world to me! Let me know what you think. This was a long one...I was originally going to divide it up into two chapters but I didn't have enough material to do that. Not sure how much more story is left, but there is at least a couple chapters left. Thanks again!

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Chapter 35 – Déjà vu

After Bobby's revelation Sam and Dean were extremely uncomfortable. Why was Bobby having dreams about the two of them together? It was bad enough that they were having those same kinds of dreams…but Bobby too! That was just plain unacceptable and extremely awkward.

"What do you think is going on Bobby?" Dean asked, unable to look the older hunter in the eyes.

Bobby shook his head, "I haven't the foggiest, but I know that whatever it is, it's disturbing." Bobby wished he could scrub the image of the two of them, up against the kitchen wall with their tongues down each other's throat, from his brain. Unfortunately, no matter what he did, it was still there. It was as if it was forever burned into his retinas. Sure, it wasn't like people hadn't always joked around with Sam and Dean about how there was something going on between them, or that they were gay, but there was never actually anything to it. This…this was just a bit too much for Bobby.

"I'm sorry" Sam said. And, he was sorry, he was very sorry. He hated that Bobby had been pulled into whatever the hell had happened to them.

Bobby looked at the boys then, "Look, we're all damn good hunters and we'll figure this out. I'm going to do a little research and I will let you know if I can find anything helpful." He looked at Dean then, "Maybe you should try to talk to your angel friend again."

"I'm starting to wonder if he really is my friend." Dean rolled his eyes. He hated when angels manipulated him. Dean hated being manipulated by anyone, but those fucking angels always took the cake. They had this holier than thou attitude and then always did the complete wrong things. As far as Dean was concerned the angels didn't act very angelic.

Bobby wanted to say something along the lines of 'suck it up and call him' but he just kept his mouth shut. He knew that things were kind of awkward and uncomfortable for the brothers right now and didn't want to sound like an ass. Instead he just frowned and said, "If you boys need me I'll be in the den."

Dean just nodded at the older man as he left the room. He was glad that he didn't have to be there under Bobby's scrutinizing eyes, but he was also uncomfortable being alone in the room with Sam. It was funny to him to ever feel that way; Sam was the only person in the world that Dean could ever truly be himself with. It just pissed him off even more that this situation was trying to mess up the relationship that they shared.

Sam was uncomfortable too. He hated the look on Dean's face; such grief, such anguish. He was beginning to understand the look that Dean had on his face during that first dream that he had about him. He could see so much similarity between the look on Dean's face then and in the dream, he just had no idea what it all meant.

Dean found it very hard to meet Sam's eyes. Part of him wanted to talk about all these crazy dreams and what was going on, but an even bigger part of him thought better of it. He nervously drummed his fingers on his leg and tried to focus on anything but his brother's questioning eyes.

Sam couldn't stand the way his brother was acting and wanted to do anything he could to make it better, "Dean, look at me."

Dean sighed and looked up at his brother, "Come on Sam, you know how awkward this is." Awkward really didn't begin to cover it, but the term would have to suffice.

Sam nodded, "Of course it is, but as he said, we will figure this whole thing out." He moved closer to his brother. "I need to tell you something, Dean."

"What?" Dean asked, looking deeply into his Sam's eyes.

"You're not going to like it. You're not going to like it at all." Sam shook his head, fearing for his life. He was terrified that after he said what he needed to say that his brother was going to haul out and punch him in the face. Or maybe he would stab him in the chest with Ruby's knife thinking that he was possessed again.

"Just spit it out, Sammy." Dean said, growing very tired.

"The dreams I've been having lately…they've been about you and me; they've been about us, together."

Dean's mouth went dry. He had already known this, of course, but he had no fucking clue how to address it with Sam. He couldn't find any words so he just nodded.

"Is that all you're going to do is just nod at me? Come on, Dean, say something." Sam pleaded. He didn't care what it was that he said, he just wanted Dean to say something.

Dean shook his head, "I don't know what to say."

"Tell me you hate me, tell me I'm fucked up in the head…just say something."

Dean finally looked up into his brother's eyes, "Why in the hell would I say those things to you? I will never hate you and if you're fucked in the head then I am too. I can't exactly cast the first stone here."

Sam was shocked. "You've been having those dreams too?"

Dean nodded gravely, "Yes."

"What are they like?"

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Come on, Sammy, I'm not going to tell you what happened. I don't want to talk about the specifics."

"I get that, but the only reason why I asked is because I was curious as to whether the dreams are the same." Sam explained. Sure, he was somewhat curious about what kind of dreams Dean had been having about them, but more than anything else he wanted to know if there was any consistency between them.

Dean shrugged, looking away, "Things like kissing and fondling. You know the usual kinds of sex dreams.

Sam couldn't help it, he moved closer. "What about me pushing you up against a cabinet, kind of like a kitchenette?" He didn't want to get too graphic or vivid, but he had to know.

Dean gulped, "Definitely had that one. Shit, Sam, you don't think…"

"I'm thinking that the dreams were either planted there by someone or they're…" Sam started to say, before Dean cut him off.

"Don't say it, Sammy. These dreams cannot fucking be memories, okay. There's no way that this happened, no fucking way." He got to his feet and angrily punched the wall, leaving a dent in it.

Sam didn't know what to say, so he just kept his mouth shut. He looked over at Dean sympathetically, knowing that his big brother would always have a harder time dealing with something like this than he would. Of course it wasn't like Sam had woken up one day and decided that he wanted to have a thing for his brother, but it was easier for him to adjust to crazy situations than Dean.

Dean took a deep breath, calming down, and turned to look back at Sam again, "I'm going to try to get some sleep. If you guys want to call Cas then have at it. I've had enough of that asshole for a while."

Sam just nodded and watched his brother walk away. He wished there was something he could do to make Dean feel better. He frowned to himself, thinking about all the times that Dean had been there for him in his life and now Dean needed him and there wasn't a damn thing that he could do to make it better. He felt like an epic fail of a brother.

Dean was having a horrible time getting to sleep. There were just so many things swirling around in his brain; the dreams, the way they had felt the other morning and the fact that he was having some serious déjà vu about things that hadn't ever happened. He felt like he'd been in this bed recently, but he knew he hadn't slept in Bobby's guest bedroom in years.

"Great Dean," He said aloud to himself, "Now you're going to get feelings too." This was turning out to be all kinds of fun.

This time, when Dean finally did sleep he had a really weird mash up of things in his dreams. He dreamt of Sam and him kissing, Sam's fingers in his ass and even about Sam telling him that he loved him. Dean was an onlooker and a participant as he had been before and was conscious enough to realize that Sam telling him that he loved him was extremely rare. He hadn't heard those words from his little brother since they were kids. He always knew that Sam loved him, as a brother, but he got a sinking feeling that that was not entirely how he meant those words.

Intermixed with moments of he and Sam together were flashes of Castiel, Bobby and the damn trickster. Something clicked in his brain then and he realized that he should have figured that the trickster was behind what was happening to them.

Dean bolted right up in bed. His breathing was ragged and he felt as though he had never slept at all. The dream had been so vivid, like it had really happened. He grumbled, hating the whole idea of that concept. The thing that had caused him to bolt right up in bed, though, was the realization of the trickster. He felt like maybe he was on to something. He threw the covers off himself and ran down the stairs to talk to the other hunters.

"Why'd you just fly in here like a bat out of hell?" Bobby asked.

Dean turned to look at him and then at Sam, "The trickster. I just had a dream about him."

Sam's eyebrow rose, "What kind of dream?"

Dean made a face and shook his head, "Not _that_ kind of dream. But, he was in it. I had flashes of us talking to him."

"You think this could have something to do with him?" Sam asked, stepping closer to his brother.

Dean shrugged, "I don't know, but it's all I've got at the moment."

"Well, it sounds good to me." Bobby agreed, standing up. "I think we should summon him."

Dean and Sam looked at each other, "There's a summoning ritual for that douchebag?" Dean asked, surprised.

Bobby raised his eyebrow, "And you idjits call yourselves hunters." He headed into the kitchen to begin gathering things he needed for the ritual, "Get your coats on and meet me by your car in five minutes."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "I get all tingly when you take control like that."

"Shut up, wiseass!" Bobby yelled back at Dean with a smile on his face.

Sam laughed and rolled his eyes, "Well, aren't you just turning into a hardcore slut all the sudden."

"I've always been a slut, Sammy." Dean said, thinking about all the chicks he'd banged in his life. "Just never for dudes."

Sam smiled at him, growing a tad bit hot under the collar. He was anxious to get things sorted out and get back to normal. This whole having a thing for his brother thing was just making everything weird. Honestly, though, he kind of would have expected for it to be even weirder than it was.

Dean raised his eyebrow and looked his brother square in the eyes, "Stop looking at me like I'm something to eat, Sammy." He laughed and held the door for his brother and they headed out to the car.

The three hunters loaded up their cars and drove to the nearest abandoned warehouse. Dean got that sense of déjà vu again as they were getting everything ready for the summoning. "Do you feel like we've done this before?" He asked Sam.

Sam shrugged, "It's hard to tell."

Dean focused his attention back on Bobby who had just read the incantation that was needed to finalize the ritual. "The bastard should be here any minute."

They waited expectantly. Dean's patience was wearing thin. "Where is that asshole anyway? You sure you did the ritual right?"

Bobby rolled his eyes, "Of course I did the damn ritual right. Have a little bit of faith in me, please." The Winchesters sure knew how to get under Bobby's skin when they wanted to.

Dean was about ready to call the whole thing a complete bust when they saw the douche-nozzle standing before them.

"We've gotta stop meeting like this." The trickster said.

"So we have summoned you before." Dean noted.

The trickster smiled, "We've played through this little song and dance routine a couple of times now. I'm not going to change anything this time though."

"Oh, is that so?" Dean asked, "What exactly did you change last time?"

The trickster sighed, "Why would I go and tell you after you made me change it all back?"

"Change what back? Are you talking about the dreams…"

The trickster nodded, "Yes, that was part of the arrangement."

Dean sighed, "I want you to stop playing games with us and just let us know what happened. I have to know the truth."

"You sure do like to go poking at things with sticks. I knew this whole plan of yours wouldn't work. You have never learned how to leave things well enough alone."

"Tell me or I'll jab you in the heart with a stake!" Dean exclaimed.

The trickster smiled again, "Not gonna work, but fine, have it your way. Only, this time I'd like you to promise me that you'll leave me alone. I've done what you asked." He walked forward and touched his hands to the boys' foreheads. "There, now, are you happy?"

Suddenly they knew everything. They knew how much time had passed and what month they should have been living in and they knew about the people they had met. Within seconds the entirety of their relationship was back into both of their minds, clear as day. There were no secrets anymore; everything was out in the open. Dean looked at Sam and wondered how it had been possible for him to forget.

All the times that Sam and Dean had been together played out in his mind, how Dean had been reduced to a whimpering pile of goo in Sam's arms and how Sam had finally understood everything that had been buried deep in Dean's heart. He also remembered the conversation that he had with Gabriel right before he had turned back the hands of time.

_While Sam was tending to the newly resurrected Bobby, Dean was preparing the terms of the deal with Gabriel. _

_"Change us back." Dean had said angrily. _

_ Gabriel smiled, "Are you sure that's what you want?"_

_ Dean looked over at Sam for a second and smiled sadly, "Yes," he said as he turned back to Gabriel. "I think it would be better if you wiped our memories too. Otherwise things are just going to be awkward as hell."_

_ Gabriel nodded, "As you wish, but I think you might find that there is something missing." He said._

_ "You manipulated our emotions, how can we ever know if this is real or not unless you fix it?"_

_ "Oh, you'll know, one way or another."_

_ "No more games, Gabriel, just put us back the way we were and take away our memories. Let us find out if this is real…if we mean it on our own."_

_ With that Gabriel had smiled and walked toward him, placing two fingers to his temple._

Dean's mind came back to the present, "You planted those memories in our dreams on purpose."

"I don't pretend to be a trickster for nothing Dean." Gabriel said.

"You might as well just put us back to that time and place and we can go on with lives." Dean said, frustrated.

Gabriel shook his head, "No, you know what happened before, but it's time for you to relive that time the way you want to. I'm done manipulating you boys."

"That's new." Dean said surprised.

Gabriel just smiled at them. He knew inside that the love and devotion that Sam and Dean shared far surpassed anything that he could create and manipulate. "It's up to you two to decide your own fates now."

"You knew we'd be back here today, didn't you?"

Gabriel smiled, "Yes. I knew you'd never leave it alone; it's not your style." Gabriel paused for a second and then continued, "I also know that I've underestimated you. I'm rooting for the two of you to get it right."

"Our relationship or whatever it is?" Sam asked, finally speaking up from behind his brother.

"Everything; the relationship, heaven and hell, Michael and Lucifer. I will pray that you will get it right." He smiled at them one last time and then disappeared.

"What a crazy son of a bitch." Dean said with a smile on his face.

"What do we do now, Dean?" Sam asked seriously.

Dean looked into his brother's dewy eyes, "I don't know Sammy, we have a lot to talk about." They stared into each other's eyes intently and then smiled.

From the back of the room someone cleared their throat, "Do you think you two idjits could tell me what the hell just happened here?" Bobby asked, confused as hell.

Sam and Dean looked at each other and smiled. Gabriel had neglected to give Bobby back his memories too. Now they really had a ton of things to talk about.


	37. Chapter 36

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews. There is a bit of a pay off in this chapter so I hope you enjoy it. Please, please, please...hang in there...all is not lost! There will be more hotness to come! I just have to do this thing in the most in character way possible. Don't give up faith in this story yet! :)

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Chapter 36 – The Next Step

The three hunters loaded up their cars and headed back to Bobby's house, where Sam and Dean proceeded to fill Bobby in on everything that had happened during the time that had been erased from the man's memory.

Bobby looked at them, his brow furrowed, "So, that dream I had was real?"

Sam nodded, "Yes Bobby, it was."

Bobby shook his head, "Okay, so what are you going to do now? He took the manipulated feelings away, but now you're stuck with the knowledge of what happened? That seems really weird to me."

Dean shrugged, "Well, Sam and I obviously have a lot of things we need to talk about."

Bobby nodded, "I should say so." He scratched his head, "If you want my advice it would be to just let sleeping dogs lie. Consider this whole thing a life lesson, something that you did but it's over now. He's not manipulating your asses anymore, so now you can just go back to being brothers, hunting, saving the girls and screwing them. You know your usual lives."

"Your opinion is duly noted, Bobby, but Sammy and I have to talk about everything first before we decide what we're going to do about all of it." Dean told the older man.

"Okay, well talk away. I'm going to head to bed anyway. Just be smart, boys. Don't do something that you'll regret later. You have a chance to do things over again, so do it right." He gave them one last fatherly look before heading to bed, "Goodnight, boys."

"Night Bobby." They both said.

Once he'd left the room the brothers looked at each other, each of them taking a seat next to the other at the kitchen table. "So, it's pretty obvious how Bobby feels on the matter." Dean said.

"Yeah, just a little bit." Sam smiled. "What I want to know though is how Dean feels."

Dean smiled, "Dean isn't entirely sure what he feels." He ran his clammy hand over his jeans and looked back at his brother, "Obviously things are different now. We have the memories of what happened but it's like it never happened. It's a really weird situation. Maybe I shouldn't have gone poking at this whole thing with a stick, you know?"

Sam gave his brother a soft smile, "Do you wish we didn't know?"

Dean shrugged, "I don't know, Sam. I mean, that's what I had wanted when I asked him to take the memories away, but I do know myself and I'm not one to just sit back with my thumb up my ass and not try to figure shit out."

Sam nodded, "Yeah, I know that about you."

"You know a lot about me, Sammy and I know a lot about you. We know a lot about each other." Dean said softly.

"A good argument for why this could be a good thing." Sam pointed out.

"But, we're brothers. We're also all each other has. If this thing goes south then we'll have nobody. Well, besides Bobby of course. But, that would put him in a really horrible position."

"Yeah, monkey in the middle." Sam nodded.

"So, there's definitely valid arguments from both sides of the fence." Dean pointed out.

"That's true. And, I think I do see things a lot clearer than I did before. I get why you fought so hard to put things back to normal. I think I can look at this a lot more objectively now." Sam said.

Dean looked down at his hands, "It's because you don't feel it like before."

Sam couldn't help but feel like Dean was a bit sad about that revelation, "That's not necessarily true. I mean, this thing is new and old between us. It's new territory but it's also old territory at the same time."

"We don't even know if any of it would even be the same." Dean said.

"You're still just as negative about things as you were before." Sam pointed out.

"I'm not trying to be negative, Sammy, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to be practical. A lot is different now that we aren't being forced into having feelings for each other. We don't even know what was real and what was planted there." The last thing that Dean wanted to do was say something wrong and make Sam think something that he didn't mean. "I'm not real good with words, Sammy."

Sam softened, "It's okay, Dean. I know what you're trying to say. I always know what you're trying to say, even when you don't make any sense."

Dean looked down at his hands, "I just don't want to fuck everything up like I usually do."

"That's not true, Dean." Sam said sensitively. "You can't fuck things up with me, because we make the rules here, nobody else. This is all about you and me, whatever we decide to do is fine. The only thing you could possibly ever do wrong is hold your feelings back from me. As long as you're honest then you can't go wrong."

"How did you get to be more level-headed than me?"

Sam smiled, "I've always been more level-headed. You're all shoot first, ask questions later and I've always been the opposite. It's just the way you are, Dean, it's not necessarily a bad thing. Hell, you've saved my ass more times than I can count because of your instincts."

"That's all I ever want to do." Dean admitted, "It's my goal in life."

"I know that and I appreciate it. I just wish you'd let me take care of you once in a while." Sam told him honestly.

Dean shrugged, "I'm not quite so shattered and bruised as I was before. That asshole worked really hard to dig up my worst nightmares and biggest fears and bring them to the surface. He loves to dick with me."

Sam shook his head, "No, he just wanted me to see them. He wanted me to get to understand you better; maybe see you for who you really are. He wanted me to be able to address it with you so that you could maybe open up to me more. I think it worked, because look at you now."

Dean smiled, "Yeah, and you're in heaven over here too."

"I like it. I like knowing what you're thinking. I can't possibly try to do or say something to make it better if I don't know what's going on in that brooding, angsty head of yours. But, I think I get you so much better now. I think we've already worked through a bunch of the kinks to this, so that's a perk."

Dean looked Sam right in the eyes, "What do you want, Sammy? I never asked you."

"I don't know. I mean, you're right about me; I do get obsessed with things easily, especially when I'm being manipulated. I don't want this thing between us to be another obsession; I want it to be real and special. I want it to be a 50/50 kind of thing, you know?"

"Wow, non-manipulated Sammy is much more mature."

Sam laughed, "And, non-manipulated Dean is a lot less needy."

Dean almost pouted, but refrained, "I still have needs." He laughed, "That came out wrong."

Sam smiled, "That's perfectly fine, because if we decide to do this I will meet those needs."

Dean felt a little tingle run up and down his spine; he'd never had anyone want to take care of him before, it felt really nice.

"You know, for an emotionally truncated person – self acclaimed anyway – you really aren't too bad. You've gotten so much better." Sam was impressed that he and Dean were able to have this conversation without Dean retreating into himself.

Dean just smiled and looked down at his hands, unsure of what to say next.

"And, this newfound shyness…gotta say…it's refreshing." Sam blushed, "But, if you're worried that I'm going to go all crazy and aggressive on you then don't, because I think a lot of that was manipulated. Sure, I can get plenty aggressive when I want to, but I was whiny and overly forceful. I'm really sorry about that. I should have tried harder to understand where you were coming from." Sam opened up.

"I just don't know if I'm going to have a simple answer to this question right away. It's something that I'm going to have to work into, if we end up going there at all. You know how long it took me before, besides you had to initiate everything. I'd like to not be such a fucking pansy." Dean actually laughed at himself, because he didn't know what else to do.

Sam shook his head, "Not a pansy, just worried and insecure. I don't really think this is something we should rush right into, Dean. If we decide to do this then we should take it slow. I think that's a really important part of it."

Dean sat there for a second, thinking. There were so many things that he wanted to say to his brother, but it was all just too confusing. The only thing he knew for sure is that he needed Sam to know that nothing was forced on him, that he did, in fact, want everything that happened. "I don't want you to think I was trying to put all the blame on you, because I wasn't. And, it wasn't even blame, really. I mean, I wanted it…I really, really wanted it. I just know that if the ball had really been in my court it probably would have never happened. I was very emotional about the whole thing and was afraid of corrupting you."

"Which is funny because I was the one doing pretty much all of the corrupting." Sam silently cursed himself for how big a slut he had been.

"I just wanted to protect you, like I always have." Dean said softly.

Sam nodded, "I really appreciate that, but you don't have to do that anymore."

"I'm never going to stop. I'm going to look out for you until the day that I die…and stay dead Hell, probably even after." Dean thought about all the millions of times that he had died…it was crazy.

"So, are we going to agree to just wait this out and see what happens, then?" Sam asked.

Dean shrugged, "I would say that's the best way to handle it. I mean, we don't even know if it will even feel the same without the added feelings and everything."

Sam smiled, "Well, there's a way to find that out real quick."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "What exactly is that crazy mind of yours plotting now?"

"We could kiss…" Sam said, looking deeply into his brother's extremely deep green eyes.

Dean's throat dried up and he swallowed the nervous lump, "I don't know if that's a great idea."

"We would know right away if there's anything there or not." Sam pointed out, "But I would never pressure you into something, I'm not that Sam anymore."

Dean nodded, "It's okay Sammy, let's try it." He wanted to know and he also didn't want to disappoint him.

Sam took a deep breath and leaned in closer to Dean's face. He knew this was for all the marbles really. Would they still enjoy kissing each other? Would there be a spark there or would it all be gone? He got almost there, only about an inch from Dean's face and then stopped. He pulled back, "I don't know if I can…"

Dean smiled at his brother softly. He leaned in and very gently wiped the hair from Sam's brow affectionately. He slid his hand down to cup the side of Sam's face as he bridged the gap between them, placing his lips softly against Sam's.

The kiss was sweet and gentle. In that kiss Dean showed his brother everything that he was feeling, leaving himself totally exposed and open for rejection. Dean's lips were achingly soft against Sam's making Sam yearn to deepen it but also relish in the sensitivity of it. When they pulled back Sam looked deeply into his older brother's eyes, "I kind of liked that, Dean."

Dean smiled, "Yeah, I kind of liked that too."

Sam leaned in closer, "Again?"

"Sure" Dean said.

This time Sam was the one to make the move and attach his lips to his brother's. Sam's lips were pliable, leaving Dean to wonder what Sam really wanted from this kiss. It started out sweet and then became a bit more urgent. Sam's tongue begged for entrance into Dean's mouth and Dean granted him the access. Their tongues swirled around together, caressing each other's and building an intense heat that rose through their bodies. "Does this answer any questions?" Sam asked as he pulled his mouth just far enough away to ask the question.

Dean smiled, "I think it does." He answered as he leaned in to kiss his brother once again.


	38. Chapter 37

A/N: I'm sorry I've made you guys wait a few days for this one, but I really wanted to take the time to make this right. I hope it's worth the wait! Thanks for the reviews, glad you guys are really into this story. I am too, as much as I'd like to work on my other story ideas, this story really has a hold over me. We are approaching the end though, sorry to say it. The end of this chapter kind of sounds like an end to the story in a way, but it's not there yet...so don't get nervous about that. There's still more good stuff to come! Thanks again for reading and reviewing, you guys are the best!

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Chapter 37 - Bobby's Guest Room

Things seemed a hell of a lot clearer for both brothers after they kissed. The world finally made a bit of sense. The things that Gabriel had done to them didn't seem so bad anymore. They both realized that this was the right thing for them; they wanted this, but it had to be done on their terms, in their way. They were no longer being manipulated into horniness so strong that they could just throw caution to the wind. They were able to look at this calmly, rationally and objectively before jumping into something of this magnitude.

Sam felt so much stronger with Dean now than he ever did before. To know that he wanted him as himself, without Gabriel's involvement, meant the world to him. Sam pulled back and looked deeply into Dean's eyes, "You wanna go upstairs?"

Dean smiled, "So about this going slow thing…"

Sam laughed, "Guess I jumped the gun a little bit there."

"It's alright Sammy, I can live with that." Dean said as he gave Sam one last little peck on the lips before standing up. "Let's just go up to bed and see what happens." He reached out and linked his fingers with Sam's as he led the way to the bedroom.

Dean didn't know what, if anything, was going to happen between them but he was willing to make an effort to try at whatever it was. It was scary for Dean, but the truth was that they weren't complete strangers to each other's bodies, that was the real perk. It wasn't as if they were really starting with a completely clean slate, it was just a slightly altered slate.

They got up to the guest bedroom and Dean smiled, remember the déjà vu he had felt there before and now understanding why.

"What are you thinking about?" Sam asked, noticing the faraway eyes and the smile on his brother's face.

Dean shrugged, "I was just thinking about how it now makes sense when I was getting déjà vu earlier in this room."

Sam smiled, "Last time must have been kind of memorable for you I guess."

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Wasn't for you?"

"Sure, but there are other things that stand out more." Sam started to think about the fondest of memories that he had and a wide grin formed on his face.

Dean moved closer to Sam, "Like what?"

Sam smiled, "The things that are the most vivid are all the moments of sensitivity on your part. Like, I keep remembering the times you cried, the way you tried to do the brotherly thing and check my body over after I was attacked and how you told me you loved me." Sam's voice grew soft and emotional.

Dean moved to sit beside Sam on the bed. He reached his hand out to place it on Sam's thigh. "I like that you remember the good things, but do you really have to remember me crying?"

Sam laughed lightly, "Sure, I do, Dean. Those are the moments when you were the most real. I got to learn so much about you during those times." He leaned over and gently kissed at the sensitive spot under Dean's ear, "Like I learned about your insecurities about how you never felt like Dad loved you. And, how you had to grow up so fast because you had to spend all of your time and energy to try and keep me a kid for as long as possible." Sam began to add his teeth into the mix, nuzzling and gently nipping at Dean's neck.

Dean let out a little moan, "The things that stand out to me the most are the times when you were so extremely controlling. I really didn't know you had it in you, Sammy. You used to be this sniveling, whiny little brat and I was the tough one and then something happened and we switched roles."

Sam smiled, pulling back to look at Dean, "Gabriel happened. I can be sniveling and whiny again if you want me to be." He laughed, "But, maybe if you could not be so cocky that you stop talking to me about things…"

Dean smiled back, "How about we just try to be ourselves…but I will try to be less of a dick than I normally am." Dean remembered all the countless times in his life that wedges had grown between them because Dean wasn't able to open up and share what was going on with him. He really believed that he had made great strides in that department though; Gabriel did really help him out with that.

"Sounds good to me." Sam ran his hand down Dean's chest and then back up, settling over his heart, "Besides, you're not really a dick anyway. We discovered that during our time together. So, I think our old, old issues aren't going to be a problem anymore, because we both know each other really well; better than ever in fact. I kind of feel like I can read your thoughts."

Dean smiled, "Oh really? What am I thinking about right now?"

"I think you're probably still thinking about that whole thing with that Chad guy." Sam said with a smile. He definitely knew how his brother thought and he knew that there was really no way that he wasn't stewing in his juices about that whole episode.

Dean raised his eyebrow, "Yeah, I keep forgetting to ask Gabriel about it. I can't help but wonder if the guy was real or not. Maybe it was just Gabriel jerking me around again. I hope it was just him jerking me around."

Sam laughed, "As if you being gay is such a horrible thing that the earth would just stop spinning on its axis."

"Okay nerdly." Dean said, making fun of Sam. "But, seriously, it's just something I've been wondering about. I mean the douchebag said I was gay or at least bisexual, but if he turns out to have been a figment of Gabriel's overactive imagination…"

Sam laughed again, "Dean, I think you're making way too much out of this."

"Says the completely straight guy." Dean said. The concept still boggled Dean's mind. How in the world could Sam be the straight one? That just defied the laws of nature right there!

Sam snickered, "First of all, you're being ridiculous and second, I'm clearly not one-hundred percent straight. I'm pretty sure he was just dicking with us."

"Good, cause I like chicks, damn it!" Dean exclaimed.

"I like chicks too, Dean." Sam said in agreement.

Dean shrugged, "Neither one of us is a chick."

Sam laughed, "Thank you for noticing. I'm thinking that the rules don't apply in this relationship. We can be the exception to each other's rule. We both like girls, but we both like each other too. I don't think it really matters much. It's not like either one of us is ever going to have a consistent relationship with a woman anyway, so that certainly can't come between us."

"But, I still just want to state for the record that I'm not gay." Dean said. "And, I can get my dick up with a woman…fucking Gabriel."

Sam laughed, "I figured he was behind that, Dean. You don't have to worry; your manly image hasn't been tarnished. Besides, as I already stated, I'm straight too. We're only gay for each other and I can live with that. Can you?"

Dean nodded, "I think I can, Sammy."

"Good, now come here and kiss me." Sam instructed with a smile on his face.

Dean laughed, "You're being controlling again I see."

"Just trying to make you tingly Dean." Sam said with a smile.

"Bitch." Dean replied, "That only applies to Bobby."

Sam laughed loud and long, "You want me to leave you alone so you can go slip into bed with him?"

"Hilarious." Dean said and bridged the gap between their lips so that he could kiss Sam intensely; white hot passion racing through their bodies. "I'd much rather go to bed with you."

"I would prefer that too. I don't want to have to kill Bobby out of jealousy." Sam smiled, his mouth still achingly close to Dean's. Sam's hand began a quest down Dean's chest and the top of his jeans, only stopping when his hand had made contact with Dean's clothed erection. Sam nibbled Dean's earlobe and whispered, "Stop me if I go too far too fast."

"It's okay, Sammy." Dean said; his voice husky and coated with lust and pure need. His hands reached out to work at the buttons on Sam's shirt, trying to get it off him as quickly as possible. Sam stopped his exploration of Dean just long enough to help Dean shred the offending garment and throw it to the floor.

"Better?" Sam asked with a smile.

Dean's eyes scanned over the long, muscular expanse of his baby brother's rock solid chest and washboard stomach, "hell yeah." He let his hands travel all over the smooth skin, bending down to kiss at every scar he saw along the way.

Sam smiled and whispered into Dean's ear, "You're awfully sweet for an emotionally truncated person."

"Shhh, don't ruin my reputation." Dean said with a chuckle.

"We can't have that." Sam said as he pushed Dean down onto the bed. He lay down beside his brother, pulling Dean's body close to his own. "I'm not rushing things too much am I?"

Dean shook his head, "Don't worry I'll tell you if you do."

Sam smiled; he was positive that was the case. No way in hell that Dean Winchester let's anyone do something to him that he doesn't want, even Sam. Sam made short work of Dean's shirt, tossing it on top of his own shirt on the floor. Sam's hand gently caressed the hard muscles of Dean's chest and up to his shoulders. "Hmm," he whispered, "I really love your biceps Dean."

Dean smiled, "I'm a stud, I know."

Sam smiled, despite himself. He wanted to roll his eyes and tell Dean that he wasn't helping the moment, but he couldn't find it in himself to care all that much. Dean was always going to be Dean and if he loved him he wouldn't try and change him. "I can tell that you're nervous Dean, but you don't need to be." His mouth found Dean's again, lightly rolling his tongue around his brother's submissive one. As his mouth was against Dean's his hand was sliding down his chest and stomach and settling on the button on his jeans. He quickly unhooked and unzipped the jeans, opening them up to expose Dean's dark boxer briefs. "Really like the boxer briefs, they leave a lot less to the imagination."

Dean turned red. He hated that Sam could make him blush like a school girl; it was his biggest pet peeve about himself. "What kind of underwear are you wearing?"

"None." Sam said, turning red, "I ran out of clean ones."

"What a shame." Dean said with a smile. He slipped out of his jeans and tossed them to the floor, so that he could freely stand and move to the front of Sam. He worked at Sam's belt, irritated, "Why do you wear these dumb things anyway, just to annoy me?"

Sam laughed, "That's exactly why." He quickly helped Dean undo the belt and then his jeans. He was about to slide them off when Dean slapped his hand away.

"I got this." He slowly and laboriously slid Sam's pants down his body, holding his breath in anticipation as Sam's cock sprang to attention. "Shit Sammy, have I told you lately how fucking huge you are?"

Sam smiled, "Not since the last time you saw it."

"Well, I mean it!" Shit, Dean knew that thing was going to tear up his ass…maybe it would be a better idea for Sam to be the bottom. Dean shrugged to himself, realizing that they may not get to that point anyway. He didn't want to stand there and dwell on things that hadn't happened yet, when he could be on his knees between his brother's spread thighs with Sam's enormous cock in his mouth. 'Plan B is a hell of a lot better!' He smiled to himself as he squatted down on the floor between his brother's legs and reached out to take his cock in his hand. "Hmm" he hummed, bending his head down to wrap his lips over the sensitive, bright red head. "Looks like someone's pretty horny."

Sam blushed again – which he found annoying – and looked up into Dean's eyes, "You always do that to me."

His mouth engulfed Sam's cock earnestly, sliding his hand up and down the base to give Sam the sensation of being deep throated. His lips were wrapped around the shaft while his tongue flicked at the head and slit, making Sam come apart underneath him. And, just to push the envelope even further, Dean proceeded to hum around Sam's cock and was awarded with a loud guttural moan. "Holy shit, Dean…I'm gonna…"

Dean continued to pump Sam until he felt his brother's white-hot seed hit the back of his throat. He continued to suck Sam dry as he swallowed every drop. When he let Sam go he noticed the sated look on his face, "Did you like that Sammy?"

Sam smiled, "No, I hated it."

Dean laughed and slid onto the bed beside his brother. He was really surprising himself; he had been the one to initiate that first kiss, to begin to strip Sam of his clothes and he had been the one to get on his knees first. This was a real change from how things had been before. Obviously they had worked through many of their issues, because Dean no longer felt the guilt that went along with corrupting his little Sammy. For some reason he now felt like Sam could handle it. So, when Sam began to explore his body in return Dean was completely out of protests. He had given up denying what it was that he wanted and that was Sam. He didn't know what their relationship was going to lead to, if anything at all, but he was willing to give it a try; for Sam but also for himself.


	39. Chapter 38

A/N: This is the same chapter as before, just slightly modified to remove typos. New stuff will be up soon!

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Chapter 38 – Pain in Dean's Ass

Dean woke up with a pain in his ass. No, he didn't mean Sam, but an actual literal pain in his ass. It was more like pressure from something very hard pressing up between his ass cheeks. "Holy shit, what's going on?" He asked, still in his sleepy state.

"Huh?" Came an even sleepier sounding voice from beside his ear. Sam's body was pressed very tightly up against Dean's back and Sam's arm was draped over his hip.

Dean pushed his ass back against Sam, "Could you get that rod out of my ass, please." He was mostly faking his irritation, but he was glad that he had the wherewithal to slip his boxer briefs back on the night before. Otherwise, he could have woken up with his ass being raped…without any sort of lubricant.

He slid as far away from Sam as he was capable of, without falling out of the bed. This was an extremely difficult feat considering Sam's erection was so huge that it took up half the bed. It wasn't like Dean didn't enjoy it, but it was more that he found Sam's erection to be extremely distracting when he had only managed to snag two hours of sleep. He wasn't ready to start the kinkiness again so soon.

"Ugh…come back here!" Sam said, grabbing Dean around the waist and pulling him back into position against the aching hard on.

Dean groaned, "Sammy, I love you and I love your cock, but I need some fucking sleep, damn it."

Sam was still half asleep himself, but his cock was wide away and standing at attention. It was alert and knew exactly what it was that it wanted; his brother's ass. "Please Dean." He begged, huskily, his words slow.

Dean sighed, "Sammy, I've never done this before…" His voice trailed off, "Couldn't I be the top and let you receive?"

Sam's eyes completely opened at that question. He smiled, leaning over to nibble at his brothers earlobe deliciously, "Nothing to worry about big brother, I know what I'm doing."

Dean wasn't comforted by that all that much. This was the serious downfall to being with a man. He knew that it could be done and hell, he had enjoyed Sam's fingers in there when they had tried that, but he just found it hard to believe that his ass was going to stretch out enough to take that monster. He shrugged thinking back to all that anal porn (anal heterosexual porn anyway) he had watched in his teen years; he had been going through a phase. It had never been something that he wanted to try with a chick, not when he had other options, but with Sam there was only his mouth, which was nice, but not quite the same…

Sam smiled, lightly tracing the line of Dean's ear. He knew that Dean was a sucker for the earlobes; he could get Dean to do anything he wanted with just a couple of licks…

Dean groaned, both in pleasure and annoyance. He knew exactly what his little brother was trying to do to him, but he refused to allow it to work. He needed to stand his ground, "Sam, can't we get some sleep and see what happens tomorrow?"

Sam smiled, "Sure Dean, if that's what you really want." He didn't want to push Dean into something that he wasn't ready for, because that wasn't healthy and wasn't a good way to show him that he loved him.

Dean smiled, rolling over to face his brother, "I think it would be better to wait, but I will allow you to suck my cock if you want…"

Sam started laughing, "Oh how generous of you!"

"I'm a great guy!" Dean said with that killer smile plastered on his face, his eyes still at half-mast.

Sam shook his head, "No, I think you're right Dean, I think we should just get some sleep and talk about it later." He gave Dean a kiss on the forehead and rolled over so that his back was to his brother.

Dean opened his mouth to say something but closed it right away. This was what he had asked for, wasn't it? He shifted positions so that he was lying on his back. He had more room now that Sam had rolled over, so why wasn't he happy? "Sammy?" He asked, moving over and running his hand down Sam's arm.

"Uh?" Sam grunted, pretending to be asleep, a smile on his face, "What do you want?"

"You." Dean said with a sigh, he was being the chick again. He guessed he might as well just get used to it…

Sam rolled over to face his brother again, "What do you want form me Dean?"

Dean shrugged, "I don't know, I just don't want you to roll over and go to sleep."

"I thought you were tired?"

Dean frowned, "Maybe you're right." He said, nodding, "Goodnight Sam."

Sam raised his eyebrow and slid over behind his brother again, "How long are we going to play this game?"

Dean almost laughed. "I have no idea."

"You can be very annoying sometimes, big brother." Sam said, kissing at the nape of Dean's neck.

"I could say the same about you, you know." Dean retorted with a frown. He rolled over so that he was on top of Sam, "I could always start being more aggressive."

Sam let out a little moan, "I wouldn't mind."

Dean's eyebrow rose, "I thought you got off on being the dominant one?"

"Sometimes I want to be dominated." He said, his voice growing husky.

"Good to know." Dean replied with a huge smile on his face.

Sam flipped Dean over so that he was now on top, "But, not tonight Dean. Tonight I want to rock your world. I want to make you come undone. I want to hear you scream out my name."

Oh God. Dean swallowed hard, "You are so dirty."

"Good think you love dirty, you know you do." Sam bent his head down and captured Dean's mouth with his own. His tongue slipped inside that hot little mouth and teased at Dean's tongue, while he lightly ground his hips against his brother's erection. Dean moaned into Sam's mouth, making Sam grind faster against him. When Sam pulled his mouth away to begin a trail of kisses that went from Dean's jaw down to the top of his boxer briefs, Dean let loose with a throaty cry that made Sam's already dripping cock even harder. Sam reached his hands down to slide Dean's underwear off so that he could see the erection that was hot and red beneath them.

"Oh my God, Sam, please!" Dean exclaimed. He hated how Sam could reduce him to begging, but he loved it just the same. Things with Sam were on a whole different level than they had ever been with anyone else.

"What do you want?" Sam asked with a seductive grin on his face.

"I want your mouth on me, please!"

Sam gave his brother what he wanted. He took the aching erection into his mouth and sucked on it, rolling his tongue around the head, just the way that Dean always did it for him. They had taught each other how to suck cock, they knew what the other loved and neither would rest until the other came apart at the seams.

"Fuck Sammy, I'm gonna cum!" Dean exclaimed, his back arching slightly. Sam was so fucking good at sucking his orgasm from him; so much better than any of the girls Dean had been with.

Sam slid his mouth off his brother's protesting cock. He felt bad, but he had more in store for his big brother. "Not yet, Dean."

Dean groaned, he was so fucking horny that he could practically taste his orgasm. "So fucking mean. I want…"

Deans cut himself off when he felt one of Sam's fingers sliding up into his ass.

"Holy fucking shit, you've gotta warn me before you do things like that!" Dean exclaimed. He had been taken completely by surprise.

"Shh," Sam soothed, "Just relax, Dean. You liked it last time."

"I had some time to adjust last time." Dean was almost mad; his ass was burning and his little brother had his damn gargantuan fingers in his ass thinking he was all smug and cool. If it burned this much to have a finger in there, then Sam's cock was completely out.

"I'm sorry Dean, I'm sorry. I thought you would like it. Let me make it up to you…" Sam never pulled his finger out, but he did slow it down. He bent down and took Deans cock back into his mouth, while he continued to slide his finger slowly into Dean's ass. This seemed to do the trick, because Dean started bucking at Sam's hand and yelling out obscenities between the words "harder" and "faster".

Sam spit in the general vicinity of Dean's ass and used his second finger to supply the lather to his ass. He slid both fingers in there, never letting his mouth leave his erection. Dean was coming undone before his very eyes. He wasn't ready for that to happen yet. "I want you, Dean. I want to be inside of you."

Dean's closed eyes shot open and he stared into the face of his baby brother. "I don't know Sam…"

Dean was scared that much was obvious. Sam shook his head, "My fingers feel good, don't they? Well, my cock is going to feel even better. "

Dean bit his lip. "Just be careful. I don't want to end up having to have some kind of zipper thing installed because of that horse dick you have."

Sam smiled, bending down to kiss him sweetly, "No worries Dean, I'm not going to hurt you, not really. It might burn a little bit at first, but well work it all out. I will do whatever feels good for you."

Dean nodded, "For one thing, you need real lube and for another thing, if you keep touching my cock it will be easier."

Sam nodded; he could do both of those things. He jumped out of the bed for a second, found his bottle of lube out of his duffel and was back and ready to pounce on Dean in about thirty seconds. He didn't want to waste any time in case Dean decided that he didn't want to go through with it after all. He opened the bottle of lube and placed some of the slippery substance in his hand. He then took his hand and placed it at Deans opening. He lathered his brother up with the stuff and then rubbed the rest of his onto his shaft. He let out a low moan when his hand made contact with his dripping erection.

Sam looked into his brother's eyes then. "You just need to stay relaxed for me, okay?"

Dean nodded. He was nervous but he wanted this, he did.

Sam slowly placed the head of his cock against the opening of Dean's ass. He pressed a little bit, feeling the hole start to open up a big. He pressed a little harder and heard Dean let out a breath. Once the tip was in then he focused his attention back to Dean's cock. His hand was still a little big wet from the lube, which helped him to get a comfortable rhythm on Dean's cock. He slid his hand up and down the shaft, letting his thumb tease at the slit. When he felt Dean relax a bit against him, he slid his cock in farther.

Dean mumbled something that Sam couldn't quite understand but Dean didn't seem like he was in too much pain. He continued to push in, his eyes never leaving Dean's. He increased his speed with his hand, watching as Dean arched his back a little, beginning to give in to the pleasure. "There we go." Sam said and was able to push himself in the rest of the way.

Neither of them moved. Sam wanted to give Dean a moment to adjust to the size of him. When he felt like it was okay, he began to slide a bit out and back in. Slowly Dean began to relax completely and that's when the magic started.

It was like the heavens had opened and the angels were singing. Dean silently berated himself for turning into such a dramatic effeminate moron, but he couldn't help himself; the pleasure was out of this fucking world. "Oh my God, Sammy! Fuck me, don't stop!"

Sam smiled, he was fairly certain that Dean was enjoying himself. He slid in faster and harder, rubbing himself against Dean's prostate. That's when he felt the walls of his brother's ass clenching and noticed that his gorgeous green eyes were beginning to roll back into his head. Sam jerked him off hard and fast and Dean exploded in his hand, shooting for what seemed like ten minutes while he clung to Sam and let loose a wild string of brand new, never before heard obscenities.

There was no way that Sam could watch his brother come undone like this and not be close himself. It was almost instantaneous. Dean finished screaming beneath him and then he started grunting out Dean's name and wildly pounding into him. Within seconds he was filling his brother's ass with pump after pump of thick, ropey cum.

"My God Sammy," Dean said, pulling Sam against him, "I fucking love you. You are a God!"

Sam nuzzled up against Dean, feeling closer to him than he ever had before. This was brand new territory for them, but he felt like it had been quite successful. He gently and romantically kissed at Dean's fuck-me lips and let out a contented sigh. "I love you too Dean. Your ass is pretty heavenly too, you know. It's never felt that good before."

Dean smiled. He wanted to make some lame comment about how he was awesome or something, but he was too fucking tired to even bother. Instead, he just pulled his brother close to him and let himself do something that he didn't normally do; cuddle.

The last thought that went through Dean's mind before he drifted off to dreamland was that the next time he was going to get Sam back for this and he started to smile…


	40. Chapter 39

Chapter 39 - Surrender

Dean woke to the sun beating into the window in Bobby's guest room. He smiled when he saw the long arm draped over his midsection. "Sammy?"

"Ugh." Sam grunted.

"Wake up, it's morning."

"It was morning when we went to sleep." Sam replied. They just could never get much sleep, it seemed.

"Seriously though, Bobby must already be up." Dean didn't want to mention it, but he was worried about what Bobby would say or do when they went downstairs together. Dean didn't know if Bobby had already peeked in to check on them or not.

"So what?" Sam's mumbled into the pillow.

Dean poked him in the ribs, "Get up!" Dean removed Sam's arm from over the top of him so that he could get out of bed and locate his clothes. He threw his clothes back on and turned back to the bed to look at his beautiful, sleepy little brother. "Sammy, you're not going to make me deal with this by myself, are you?"

Sam groaned again, but threw the covers off him. "I guess not."

Dean had to look away as Sam got out of bed because he had a boner again. Dean wondered if Sam's dick was ever not hard. "Come on Sasquatch, let's go."

"Why aren't you looking at me?" Sam asked, moving closer to his brother, "Does looking at me naked give you ideas?"

"Bite me!"

Sam laughed as he bent down and nuzzled at Dean's neck, "Anytime."

Dean shrugged away from Sam, trying to pretend like having Sam's mouth on his body didn't affect him, and failing miserably at it too. "Let's just get downstairs."

Sam finished dressing and they headed down the stairs and into Bobby's living room.

"Nice to see you two up." Bobby said from the couch, where he was reading through some old books. Bobby never stopped doing research and collecting old, musty smelling books. "There's some breakfast on the kitchen table."

"Okay." Dean said, headed toward the kitchen as quickly as his feet could take him. He reached over and pulled Sam with him. They got to the kitchen and Sam dropped into one of the chairs at the table. Dean looked down at him with his hands on the table, still standing beside it. "That was easier than I expected."

"You could have let me sleep."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Stop being a little bitch."

Sam made a face at him as he bit into a piece of toast. "Just sit down and have your breakfast."

Dean frowned. Sitting down in a hard wooden kitchen table was not exactly what he wanted to do at the moment. He sighed and sat down very gingerly.

"What's the matter princess; does your ass hurt or something?" Bobby asked, walking into the room with a book still in his hands.

Dean's heart momentarily stopped beating and he turned white as a ghost. "What?"

Sam tried really hard to hide the smile on his face.

"You heard me, you idjit. If there's one thing about this house that I wish could have been changed yesterday it's how thin the walls are." He grimaced and shook his head, "You two are something else."

Even though Sam was embarrassed he was also amused by the whole thing. He quickly scarfed down a pancake to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter over the whole situation.

Dean frowned, glaring at his brother. "What's the matter with you? You're supposed to be helping me here!"

"Sorry." Sam squeaked out, followed by a burst of laughter that he couldn't hold inside.

Dean's eyebrow shot up, practically to the ceiling, "Are you alright?"

Bobby shook his head, "I'm at a loss for words here…"

Dean turned to look at his father figure, "I'm sorry, we—"

"I know what you were doing; you don't have to say it. In fact, please don't mention it." He shook his head and started to walk back out of the room.

Dean jumped out of his seat and followed Bobby back into the living room. "Thanks for not raking us over the coals in there…"

Bobby shrugged, "What good would that do? I've known for a long time that the two of you had something special between you; I guess I just hoped it wouldn't come to this. But, I doubt there's anything I can do to change it at this point."

Dean shrugged, "We value your opinion of us…well, I do anyway. I can't speak for the chucklehead."

Bobby nodded, "You're still family to me, boy. Nothing or no one can change that, you hear me? I just, well I just don't want to have to hear it through my walls again."

Dean felt a blush rise to his cheeks, "I will promise you that will never happen again."

"Good. Then I guess we're squared away."

Dean nodded, "I guess so." He smiled, "Thanks." That was about as open as Dean felt like being at the moment, so he slipped out of the room and back into the kitchen. He grimaced as he slid back down into his chair.

"How's the ass?" Sam asked with a gigantic smile on his beet red face.

Dean shook his head, "Can we not talk about my ass right now, please?"

"Why not, it's so—"

"Drop it!" Dean exclaimed.

* * *

Two hours later Sam and Dean were on the road again. They weren't sure where they were going this time. They didn't have a case, they didn't have anything to research, all they had was the desire to go somewhere else so they didn't have to torture Bobby anymore.

"You don't think things with Bobby will get weird now, do you?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged, "I think they may already be weird."

Dean frowned, "It's nice to have a place to sort of call home, you know."

Sam cocked his head to the side and studied Dean like a second dick had just sprouted out of his forehead. "You've gotten all soft on me."

"Shut up." Dean said.

"Oh, I'm so scared."

"You should be scared."

"Or what? What could you possibly do to me?" Sam asked, with a smirk on his face.

Dean leaned over and snaked his hand around the back of Sam's neck to pull him closer. "I could bend you over this car and ram you in the ass with my cock. I could make your ass sore like mine is."

Sam licked his lips, "I'm not afraid of you."

"Maybe you should be." Dean growled, letting Sam go.

Sam reached out to pull him back to him, "Excuse me sir, but I'm in charge around here."

Dean smiled, "Only when I let you be."

"Is that so?" Sam's hands went into Dean's hair and locked. He pushed Dean's head back and Sam captured his lips with his own, his other hand rubbing Dean's clothed erection. "Seems to me like I'm in charge right now."

Dean pulled back, grasping Sam's wrists with his hands, "It was all an illusion. I'm in charge here."

"We could play this game all night." Sam sighed as he pulled out of Dean's grasp.

Dean shrugged, "Then just give up."

"I'll never give up." Sam said, settling into his seat.

Dean smiled a little cocky grin as he put the Impala back on the road and headed toward the nearest motel. He couldn't wait to get his Sammy to their next home away from home and initiate the bed.

"Why are we going here?" Sam asked, looking at the Holiday Inn in front of him. "I thought we always stayed in nice inconspicuous ratholes?"

Dean shrugged, "I just thought it might be nice to stay somewhere better tonight, but I can keep driving it you want."

Sam shook his head, "No, I like it here."

"Me too." Dean grinned as he got out of the car and grabbed their packs from the trunk. He tossed Sam his and they headed to the front desk to check in.

"Two queens?" The pretty, petite twenty five year old woman asked them, with a flirtatious grin.

Sam held his breath and prepared himself to witness Dean in action once again. This chick was totally Dean's type and Sam had to admit to himself that if Dean wasn't there he'd probably have found himself hitting on her too.

Dean looked over at his brother and then back at the pretty girl and smiled, "We'd like a King please."

Sam's jaw nearly hit the floor.

The look on the girl's face said it all; she was disappointed to discover that they were together in that kind of way. "Oh, okay." She hit a few keys and then reached over to grab them a key to their room, "Here you go."

"Thanks." Dean said with a wink and then turned to smile at Sam.

Sam laughed and shook his head. He knew Dean couldn't get away without some sort of acknowledgment that he was interested in the girl. "You never disappoint."

"That's cause I'm awesome, Sammy. Now, let's get to our room."

They got to room 308 and Sam stuck the plastic card key into the lock. They walked in and Sam smiled like a kid in a candy store. "The sheets look clean, Dean!"

Dean smiled, "There aren't any stains on the towels either from what I can see."

"This place is great." Sam said, sprawling out on their king sized bed, intertwining his fingers behind his head.

"Come here Sammy."

"Maybe you should come here."

Dean grumbled and moved to the bed. He dropped down onto it, smiling blissfully at how comfortable it was. Then he remembered what he was planning and reached for Sam. "You need to stop defying my orders, Sammy."

Sam smiled, "I don't need to follow your orders, because I'm in charge. I wear the pants in this relationship."

Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother, "I think you're forgetting that I've always been in charge. I drive the car, I pick the music, I take care of your ass and that makes me in charge."

"I remember taking care of your ass last night."

"You think you're so cute." Dean bit at Sam's neck, trying to leave an impression.

"Wow, you're really biting me Edward Cullen." Sam shifted underneath Dean.

"You love it." Dean said.

Sam couldn't deny that the thought of Dean getting aggressive and territorial with him made him a little stiff in his pants, but he didn't want to admit that to Dean. "Do not."

Dean possessively ripped Sam's shirt off his body and threw the fabric to the floor.

"Holy shit, Dean." Sam said.

"You deserve it, now shut up!" Dean unhooked Sam's pants with his teeth and slid them to the floor.

Sam's cock was like a brick in front of Dean's face once he had been stripped down to just his socks. Dean's mouth watered and he bent his head to slip the head of Sam's dick into his mouth.

"Oh God, Dean. More."

Dean smiled as he slipped another eighth of an inch into his mouth.

"More, Dean. Take it all in your mouth." Sam reached down to take a hold of Dean's head, but Dean growled and pushed his hands away.

"Try it again and I'll tie your hands behind your head." Dean warned.

"You wouldn't dare."

Oh no. Dean didn't let anyone tell him what he wouldn't do. Just for that he moved to his duffel bag to find something he could tie Sammy up with. Eventually he found a pair of handcuffs and moved back toward Sam.

Sam was up off the bed and staring at his older brother with wide eyes, "What are you doing?"

Dean smiled, "Come here, Sammy."

"Hell no."

"Quit being a little pansy and lay back on the bed."

Sam couldn't help it, he broke a smile. He loved the game they were playing with each other and intended to put up a fight. He ran into the bathroom and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. He backed up to the door and worked at the knob as Dean moved toward him. "You might as well give it up, Dean. You can't overpower me." Sam had the door open a crack. He moved to open it so he could run out into the hall, forcing Dean to chase him. He didn't know why they were playing this game, but for some reason it was seriously turning him on. He really hoped anyone walking through the hallway would not spot the raging hard on under his towel.

Dean laughed as he pushed the door closed behind Sam, "You've gotta try harder than that to get away from me." He had Sam pinned up against the door and was slowly rubbing himself against the hardness he could feel beneath the cotton fabric of the bright white towel. "Your ass is mine."

Sam groaned, "I like it better when your ass is mine."

"Too bad." Dean pulled at the towel until it gave away and fell to the floor, revealing Sam in all his glory. "I know you want me, it's pretty obvious."

The corners of Sam's mouth turned up. "You seem pretty confident in yourself."

"Oh, I am." He pushed Sam back in the direction of the bed and then dropped him onto it. "Now, come on Sammy, be my good little bitch."

Sam laughed, "I guess I can play along this once."

'Play along, my ass!' Dean thought to himself. "You've always been my bitch."

Sam snickered, "I'm gonna go soft if you keep talking like that."

"Yeah right." Dean said, "You love every minute of it. Look at you; you're even harder than you were two minutes ago. I've got you right where I want you."

"I don't think—" Sam started to argue but once Dean's lips wrapped around his erection he gave up, he didn't care to protest anymore. He wanted Dean and that was that.

Dean worked at Sam's cock for a while and then spit on his fingers and placed them at the entrance to Sam's ass. Very slowly Dean pressed into Sam and felt him stretch around him.

Sam drew in his breath. Now he finally understood about the burning, it was almost overwhelming.

"You need to relax." Dean said, bending down to take Sam's cock into his mouth again. That seemed to do the trick. Dean found Sam relaxing and he was able to slip his entire finger into his little brother. Judging by the sounds that were escaping Sam's throat Dean thought it would be fine to add another finger. He slid it in there, hearing Sam wince a little bit at first.

Dean moved slowly, continuing to torture his cock with his hot, wet mouth. "Uh huh." Dean muttered, enjoying the way Sam's ass was opening up for him.

With one quick movement Dean reached over the edge of the bed and searched Sam's pack for the lube they had used the night before. After he found it he lathered Sam's ass up with it and moved so that his cock was rubbing right up at the entrance to Sam's gorgeous hole.

"I don't know…" Sam muttered nervously.

"Shh." Dean whispered, "If I can do it then you can do it too."

"I'm not sure."

Dean pressed very lightly, bending down to place his lips to Sam's. Dean's tongue worked at Sam's as his hands explored Sam's tight, gorgeous body. "So beautiful."

Sam smiled up at his brother. He loved it when Dean got sentimental with him. His hands went into Dean's hair affectionately, "I trust you Dean."

Dean smiled and wrapped one hand around his cock as he began to push into Sam's ass. He could see the pain reflected on Sam's face and did all that he could do to take that pain away. "It's okay, Sammy. Just relax and let me make love to you."

Dean used his free hand to tenderly caress Sam's flesh and finally he wrapped it around Sam's cock and began to stroke it. Within seconds Sam's body relaxed enough to slide the rest of the way in. He stilled and let his brother adjust to the size of him.

"See, that wasn't so bad." Dean said. There was nothing in the entire world that felt as good as having his cock inside Sam's ass. It was so hot and tight in there and Dean thought he might cum before he even got Sam relaxed enough to enjoy it.

Dean closed his eyes and forced himself to stay perfectly still.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked with concern in his voice.

Dean's eyes opened and he nodded, "I'm trying to not blow my load in four seconds. It just feels so fucking good in here."

Sam smiled, "Why do you think I used to do it as much as I could?"

"Clearly I've been missing out." Very slowly Dean started to move again. It was like fireworks were going off in front of his eyes, it was pure passion. Dean had never felt anything like this. He actually had thoroughly enjoyed being on the receiving end of this whole thing too, but nothing felt better than Sam's ass.

Dean picked up the pace with his stroking on Sam's cock and waited for Sam to relax a little more before he picked up the pace of his fucking. "Yeah Sammy."

"Feels nice Dean." Sam said. He was starting to get into it as well.

Dean pulled Sam's ass farther off the bed so that he could get in even deeper and they both let out excited moans. Dean had hit Sam's prostate and made him crazy. Once he found it, he took full advantage and picked up the pace in order to bring them both home.

"Yes, Dean! Fuck yes!" Sam held on to Dean tightly as he felt his orgasm hitting him like a ton of bricks. Dean continued to stroke at the massive cock and almost immediately Sam's seed shot out like a rocket and hit Dean square in the chest.

"So hot, Sammy." Dean groaned. He drilled Sam and very soon he was filling Sam's ass up with his load.

They both collapsed, totally spent, huddled together on the bed. They were sticky, dirty and completely sated.

Dean smiled, "We should take a shower together."

Sam smiled, "I don't even want to move."

Dean kissed him long and hard, "Love you, Sammy."

"I love you too Dean." He couldn't get over how much Dean had changed since everything between them had first changed. Dean had really come a long way.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Dean asked.

"I was thinking about how much things have changed since the beginning. I'm glad I finally got you to surrender to me."

Dean's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, "Correction, you surrendered to me."

"What?" Sam exclaimed, "I had you eating out of the palm of my hand."

"Can't prove it by me." Dean said, defiantly.

"You're a jerk." Sam grumbled.

"And you're a bitch! My bitch. You hear that Sammy, you're my bitch? You surrendered to me." Dean kissed his brother again a huge grin on his face.

"This could go on forever." Sam rolled his eyes, "How about we just agree that we both surrendered to each other?"

Dean smiled, "Okay, I can live with that. We surrendered to _us_." He kissed Sam one last time before he picked him up and dragged him to the bathroom so that they could take a long, hot, steamy shower together.

The End

* * *

A/N: Thank you all soooooooooooo much for reading, reviewing and most of all for sticking with me all this time. I'm so sorry it took such a long time to get this finished. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I know the ending was a touch corny, but I did so many horrible things to them along the way and I just really wanted to give them a happy ending. :) Thanks again! I love you all!


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